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Spring Board 4.8 Deleting Wordiness RADaR Revisions

Learn to identify and eliminate wordiness in your writing through practical exercises. Understand common wordy phrases, passive voice, and how to revise for clarity and conciseness. Practice with examples to improve the quality of your writing.

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Spring Board 4.8 Deleting Wordiness RADaR Revisions

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  1. Spring Board 4.8Deleting WordinessRADaR Revisions

  2. Deleting Wordiness: • Wordiness is often the result of idea development and often appears in initial drafting. Although it is important for writers to have a “fat draft” with which to work, they must learn to trim wordy passages in the final draft.

  3. Common Wordiness: • Sentences beginning with there and it • Overuse of the passive voice • Unnecessary repetition • Empty or “dead” words and phrases • Practice independently on page 260

  4. Unnecessary words that repeat in meaning: • Terrible tragedy • End result • Various differences • Free gift • Very unique • In a confused state • Past history • For the reason that • Pink in color • Small in size • True facts • Period in time • Past memories • Of cheap quality • Often times • Future plans • Honest in character * With your partner discuss how the examples show wordiness and how to correct it.

  5. Passive Voice: • A passive voice is when the subject of the sentence is acted on by the verb. • Example: The ball was thrown by the pitcher • Correct: The pitcher threw the ball • Practice together • Example: The gerbil was eaten by the dog. • The committee was led by a PTO member. • The device was operated by a sophisticated set of robotics.

  6. Correcting Wordiness: • Read the paragraph on page 261 with your shoulder partner, highlight as many examples of wordiness as you can find. Then on rewrite the paragraph eliminating the wordiness without changing the meaning of the sentences. • Revisit your draft and correct any wordiness.

  7. RADaR Revisions Replace • Words that are not specific • Words that are overused • Sentences that are unclear Add • New information • Descriptive adjectives and adverbs • Transitions to show movement between ideas • Rhetorical or literary devices (Cat Claws) Delete • Unrelated ideas • Sentences that sound good but do not make sense • Repeated words, phrases, or ideas • Unnecessary details Reorder • So most important points stand out • To make better sense or flow better • So details support the main ideas

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