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Learn the art of dialogue to foster second-order change and transform relationships and communication systems. Discover how to prevent old patterns, create a safe and respectful atmosphere, and mobilize energy for collaborative planning. This process involves careful questioning, active listening, and reflective speaking.
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Dialogue • Dialogue is a process in which people or groups involved in serious (often intractable and identity-based) conflict share information in order to create better understanding • Dialogue seeks second-order change (transformation of the relationship or system of communication in which parties are engaged) • In dialogue we may not change opinions, but undergo a radical shift in how we view self, other, and the relationship
Assumptions Underlying Dialogue • Preventing re-enactment of old, unconstructive patterns is essential to creating space for new conversation • Thus, we must learn about how the old polarized conversation goes and what participants hope to do differently • Participants must be prepared to enter into the conversation • An atmosphere of safety and respect is crucial • When people speak as complex individuals they listen and understand more fully • An Appreciative stance mobilizes energy • Collaborative planning and “emergent design” enhance participant ownership
Typical Steps in the Process • Is there a good fit between their goals and the process? • What is the Old Conversation? • What input would they like to the process (Collaborative decision-making?) • What can we plan and who can we invite? • How can we get to know them better before the dialogue? • What should the final meeting design be?
The Meeting • Beginning • Opening remarks • Introductions • Group Agreements • Role Clarification • Overview of Plans for the meeting • Middle • Careful Questioning to Invite Careful and Complex Speaking • Go-Round format • Closing • Questions that invite acknowledgement, reflection on experience
The Role of the Facilitator • Welcome people • Orient them to the process and purpose • Get agreement to a set of guidelines • Remind people of their agreements if they forget them • Move the group through the dialogue keeping an eye on time
Guidelines for Speaking and Listening • We will speak for ourselves and from our own experience • We will not criticize the views of other participants or attempt to persuade them • We will listen with resilience, hanging in when it is hard to hear • We will participate within the time frames suggested by the facilitator • We will not interrupt • We will pass if we do not wish to speak