Domestic Violence: The Hidden Epidemic

1. The Sisters Against Abuse Ministry, (SAAM) Prevention by Faith; Christian Concepts for Violence Prevention A Nonprofit Organization Evangelist La Donna M. Combs Domestic Violence Program Coordinator A Powerful Women of Purpose Ministry Domestic Violence: The Hidden Epidemic

2. Domestic Violence DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A PATTERN OF LEARNED BEHAVIORS IN WHICH ONE PERSON USES PHYSICAL, SEXUAL, AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO CONTROL ANOTHER PERSON.

3. Statistics • 1 out of 4 women will be abused by a current or former partner at some point in their lives • National Institute of Justice, 2000 • Over 100 DV-related homicides occur in Michigan each year • Michigan Uniform Crime Report • Among women admitted to the ER, 37% were abused by an intimate partner • U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1997 • Michigan Department of Community Health, 2003 • From October 2003 – September 2004, Michigan DV programs received 55,208 crisis calls, an average of 151 per day • Michigan Domestic Violence Prevention & Treatment Board

4. Who are the victims? • Anyone can be a victim • Women are victims in 85%--95% of all reported domestic violence • Men can also be victims • People in same sex relationships can also be victims • Children, teens, elderly relatives and others are also victimized

5. Power & Control • Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming • Isolation • Emotional Abuse • Economic Control • Threats and Coercion • Intimidation • Using privilege • Using Others Physical & Sexual Violence

6. Victim behavior • No “typical” behavior though may exhibit • Minimizing or denying the violence • Taking responsibility for the violence • Using alcohol or drugs • Self defense • Cultural or religious constraints • Seeking help • Remaining in the abusive relationship

7. Why doesn’t she leave?

8. Why doesn’t she leave? • Economic reasons • Fear • Her life and safety • Unknown • Losing custody • Blame themselves • No support / Isolation • Especially for LBGT couples • Lack of resources • Lack of safe, affordable housing • Religious reasons • Cultural barriers • Low self-esteem as a result of abuse • Love • Hope

9. We should really be asking… Why does the batterer abuse the victim? or Why is she in such danger?

10. Who are the batterers? • Anyone can be a batterer • Approximately 98% of the batterers in the U.S. are male • Men who witnessed domestic violence as boys may be more at risk

11. Batterer behavior • Myths • The ANGRY batterer • The OUT OF CONTROL batterer • The DRUNK or DRUGGED batterer • Reality • The EDUCATED batterer • Batterers will only use the force necessary to control the victim and no more

12. Why they batter These are some actual statements from men in our program • “I showed her that I could take control.” • “It bolsters my ego to have the last say.” • “To make her feel guilty, like she did the wrong thing.” • “So she would stay home more and do the things I want to do.” • “I get immediate results.” • “Make her feel bad about herself and then make her feel ‘better’ with hugs and kisses, or try to honeymoon her.”

13. What happens when an abused person does leave? • Different outcomes for different people • Some leave and return, sometimes many times • Why would she return? • Others leave and face greater risk • 7 out of 10 do eventually leave • Victims need support and resources in order to leave

14. Is there hope for the batterer? • Depends on the individual • Battering is a learned behavior, so it can be unlearned • Help is available

15. Harmful communication to avoid • Don’t tell her what to do, when to leave, or not to leave • Don’t tell her to go back and try a little harder • Don’t rescue her by trying to make decisions for her • Don’t offer to try to talk to her partner to straighten things out • Don’t tell her to stay because of the children

16. mission “To bring hope, help and healing, to victims of domestic and sexual violence with the love of Jesus, education, and services.”