Ehsan Kabir - Separation and Divorce effects on children

1. Separation and Divorce effects Ehsan Kabir

2. Divorce Do we like/not like marriage? One of the highest marriage rates One of highest divorce rates One of highest remarriage rates

3. Divorce Discussion What are some reasons you personally might consider a divorce? Is falling out of love an appropriate reason for wanting a divorce? What were you taught growing up about the acceptability of divorce?

4. Divorce Idealization of marriage By 1974, more marriages ended by divorce than by death. Divorce = deviance vs. part of family life cycle

5. Measuring Divorce Divorce rate = 50%...correct? 2.2 million marriages annually  1.1 million divorces annually  Question: Divorced couples not from same group that got married in that same year?

6. Measuring Divorce All marriages and all divorces 60 million married couples  1.25 million divorces annually  Divorce rate = 2%

7. Measuring Divorce Crude Divorce Rate Number of divorces in a given year for every 1,000 people in the population.  In 2002, there were 4.0 divorces for every 1,000 Americans.

8. Measuring Divorce Refined divorce rate. Measures the number of divorces that occur in a given year for every 1,000 marriages. In 1998, the refined rate was 19 to 20 divorces per 1,000 married women, meaning 2% of marriages ended in divorce.

9. Divorce Trends in the U.S. Both marriage and divorce rates have declined The marriage rate is at its lowest point since the 1930s. In more recent years the rate has declined.

10. Divorce Through the 20th Century and Beyond Rate Per 1,000 Married women 3 8 9 9.2 22.6 19.8 NA Year Number 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 1995 2001 55,751 170,506 264,000 393,000 1,189,000 1,169,000 NA

11. Factors Affecting Divorce Shift from agricultural to industrial society Social integration Individualistic American culture

12. Factors Affecting Divorce Demographic factors: Employment status Income Educational level Ethnicity Religion.

13. Factors Affecting Divorce Life Course Factors: Age Premarital pregnancy Remarriage

14. Factors Affecting Divorce Life Course Factors: Intergenerational transmission (Amato, 1996) Parental divorce increases chance of child’s marriage ending within first five years by as much as 70%. Increased risk of divorce is especially great if both spouses experienced parental divorce. Effects are strongest when parents divorce early in child’s life (age 12 or younger)

15. Factors Affecting Divorce Family Processes Marital happiness Children Marital Problems No Fault Divorce

16. Stations of Divorce (Bohannan) As people divorce, they undergo these “divorces” simultaneously. Emotional Legal Economic Co-parental Community Psychic

17. Marital Separation Uncoupling—The process by which couples drift apart in predictable stages. The initiator voices complaints. Eventually, the initiator ends the relationship. Uncoupling ends when both partners acknowledge the relationship cannot be saved.

18. Marital Separation Separation Distress Ultimately, negative aspects of separation are balanced with the positive aspects Almost all attention centered on missing partner Euphoria can follow, but fall back into separation anxiety. Separation distress slowly gives way to loneliness.

19. Marital Separation Postdivorce Identity Two phases of establishing new identity: Transition Recovery

20. Marital Separation Dating Again Important for separated or divorced people. Formal statement of the end of a marriage Permits individuals to enhance their self- esteem.

21. Consequences of Divorce No-Fault Divorce: Putting women and children at a disadvantage Economic consequences include: Impoverishment of women Changed female employment patterns Very limited child support and alimony

22. Consequences of Divorce Non-economic consequences include: More psychological distress, lower levels of happiness, more social isolation, more health problems. Divorced people are three times as likely to commit suicide. Some divorced people experience higher levels of personal growth and greater autonomy.

23. Children and Divorce Children in happy two-parent families are the best adjusted Children in conflict-ridden two-parent families are the worst adjusted. Children from single-parent families are in the middle.

24. Children and Divorce Key to child’s adjustment: lack of conflict Telling children about separation: It’s very difficult Relief or not, guilt accompanies feeling

25. Children and Divorce Three-Stage Process of divorce for children: Initial stage—Turmoil is greatest. Transition stage—Adjusting to new family. Restabilization stage—Integration of changes.

26. Children and Divorce Developmental tasks of divorce: Acknowledging parental separation Disengaging from parental conflicts Resolving loss Resolving anger and self-blame Accepting the finality of divorce Achieving realistic expectations for later relationship success

27. Children and Divorce Children’s responses to divorce: Varies by age Younger children Adolescents

28. Children and Divorce Adjustment to divorce: Open discussion prior to divorce Continued involvement with noncustodial parent Lack of hostility between divorced parents

29. Children and Divorce Adjustment to divorce: Good psychological adjustment to divorce by custodial parent Stable living situation and good parenting skills. Continued involvement with the children by both parents

30. Children and Divorce Adjustment to divorce: Children of divorce suffer: Reduction of income Weakening ties with fathers Loss of “residential stability” Problems in school Greater likelihood of becoming teen parents.

31. Children and Divorce Adjustment to divorce: Not all children suffer negative consequences. 90% of children with divorced parents achieve same level well-being as children of continuously married parents (Amato, 2003).

32. Child Custody Generally based on one of 2 standards: The best interests of the child The least detrimental of the available alternatives. The major types of custody are sole, joint, and split.

33. Child Custody Sole custody Accounts for 85% of all U.S. divorce cases Women traditionally have been responsible for child rearing Many men do not feel competent

34. Child Custody Joint custody Accounts for 10% of cases. Joint legal custody Children live primarily with one parent Both parents share in decisions regarding the children. Joint physical custody Requires parents to work out practical logistics …as well as feelings about each other.

35. Child Custody Split custody Splits the children between the parents Usually girls live with mother, boys with father

36. Custody Disputes As a result of custody disputes, as many as 350,000 children are stolen from custodial parents each year. Most are returned home within a week.

37. What to Do About Divorce Is divorce the problem or is it a solution to other problems? Cultural idea of divorce Legal matters of divorce Covenant marriages New family forms emerging