John 13:35; 1 Cor. 13:13

John 13:35; 1 Cor. 13:13 5 Love Languages BYPASTOR JAMES FADELECHAIRMAN, RCCG, North America

Why do men and women speak such different languages? Gen. 11:7 • Because marriage is bi-lingual – with no interpreter! • Man often tends to be physical while women are inclined to be more verbal.

Understanding and Communication When you don’t understand each other, it can feel like you’re living in the Tower of Babel. That’s the place where • Families were divided because they couldn’t understand each other’s language; • All progress stopped and confusion reigned

The basis of Love….. • What characterizes Christianity or set the followers of this faith apart is Love! • Without love, mountains become un-climbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable and hardships our plight (lot) in life.

The Human Language • Languages differences are part and parcel of human culture, • MUST learn that languages of those with whom we wish to communicate. • In area of love, it is similar. Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English.

Many Facets of the Love Languages • There are basically FIVE emotional love languages; • In the field of linguistics, a language may have numerous dialects or variations – so within the five basic love languages, many i.e. • 10 ways to let your spouse know you love her, etc • The number of ways to express love within a love language is limited only by one’s imagination. • The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.

What Real love is: • Emotional in nature, but not obsessional • It unites reason and emotion • It involves an act of the will and requires effort and discipline and recognizes the need for personal growth

Falling “in love” euphoric • Emotionally obsessed with each other • Go to sleep thinking of each other • Wake up and that person is the first thought on your mind • Long to be together, playing together • Hold hands, seems as if our blood flows together • We could kiss forever if no work or school

Falling “in love” euphoric • Person “in love” has the illusion that (Naïve & Obsessional); • His beloved spouse is perfect • Marital bliss last forever or eternity • Others may argue and fight ours supremely happy. • It’s hard to believe anything else when you’re in love;

Euphoric Love • Euphoric love is temporary, • sooner or later we always come down from the high or real work • some fallout before getting married, others after. • Not an act of the will or a conscious effort. • It is effortless • Not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. • It is fiction, not fact

“REAL WORLD” MARRIAGE! • Where hairs are always in the sinks, spot covered mirrors • Arguments center on which way tissue paper come off • Whether lids on toilets should be up or down • World where; shoes do not walk to the closet • Where coats do not like hangers

“REAL WORLD” MARRIAGE! • Where coats do not like hangers • Where socks go AWOL during laundry – in the world • Where a look can hurt, word can crush • Intimate lovers can become enemies, marriage a battlefield

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES • The love language of one person is not necessary the love language of another. • The five love languages are: • Words affirmation • Quality Time • Receiving Gifts • Acts of Service: • Physical Touch:

Words Affirmation-Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 12:25 • There is power in complimenting or verbally affirming each other. • Verbal compliments, words of appreciation, encouraging words, kind words. • The object of love is not getting what you want, but doing something for the well being of the one you love. • It is a fact of life, that when we receive affirming words, we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate!

Quality Time • Giving someone your undivided attention…… It’s looking at each other talking • Go to a restaurant, • If 20 minutes, it’s 20 minutes of your life you’re giving • It’s togetherness • Quality conversation • Taking vacations • No interruptions • Meet for lunch at Wendy’s; • Play games together, • Just drive around, just two of you

Receiving Gifts • Gift giving is a fundamental expression of love that transcends cultural barriers. • A $1 gift may speak a $1m worth of love • Gifts need not be expensive. A cardboard paper with marker, “I love you” • Gift to your spouse is like investing in a ‘blue chip stock’

Acts of Service- John 3:3-17, “…washing His Disciple’s feet. Gal. 5:13 • Doing things your spouse would like you to do; • They require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. • “What can I do to help you this evening?” • Not a dormant but a lover, “I love you too much to let you treat me like this, not good for you or me”

Physical Touch- Mark 10:13, “brought children to Jesus…touch, bless • Babies that are held, hugged, kissed develop healthier emotionally than those without • Holding hands, kissing, embracing, sexual intercourse without it, feel unloved, unwanted and unappreciated. • Putting hands on his shoulders as you pour coffee, tea or rubbing your body against his, making a pass on him or her. • Whatever brings you pleasure, mutually satisfying, don’t insist on your way – European hugs, or American hand shake, etc.

What is MY love language? • You need to discover you love language and discover that of your partner also. • Its Possible to be bi-lingual

John 13:35; 1 Cor. 13:13