Conflict Management Resolution Strategies Bullying Decision Making

1. Conflict Management Resolution StrategiesBullying Decision Making

2. “I’m SO Angry!”

3. “What are we so mad about anyway?(examples) • Which movie to go see • Cut off in traffic • Someone spreading rumors • ‘Stay at home mom’ or a career • How late you can stay at a party • Spending money • How and where to spend your time • Parents disagree with clothes/ hairstyle • Can’t go to a school event because it falls on a religious holiday • You were excluded from a group

4. What is Conflict • Conflict: a disagreement between people with opposing view points, ideas, or goals. • Conflicts can be an exchange of words • Group confrontations can be ongoing • Conflicts that involve weapons can be serious Some conflicts are with YOURSELF!

5. What Causes Conflict?3 major reasons 1. Resources: something usable, such as goods , property, money or time. • Examples??? Couples who fight over finances, which restaurant, study or go mall with mom, fighting over the computer… 2. Values: your beliefs and ideas you consider important • Examples??? Browns fan, daily PE class, politics, • Emotional Needs: the need to belong and feel respected and worthwhile examples??? Left out, dis-respected, put down, feel it’s unfair didn't make the science Olympiad, sports team etc…

6. Journal • Think of a conflict you’ve had recently and briefly describe. • Answer the following questions in your notes. • 1.What was it about? • 2. What caused it? (Resources, Values, Emotional) • 3. Was it resolved? Explain.

7. Managing my Anger/Conflict • Release frustrations of life. • Calls Attention to Problems • Helps us understand self and other’s values • Increases motivation to take action • Brings about change • Healthier relationships • Anger can build and boil over • Can lead to violence • Irrational thinking • Not pleasant to be around • Lead to depression (esp.boys) If I learn to manage my anger then… If I don’t and conflicts get out of hand then…

8. Activity #1 • You were just presented with a check for: • $1,000.00 • List all the things you would do with the money.

9. What you choose to do with your time also has everything to do with what you value. • Hypocrite- • One who subscribes to one set of values, and does another. • Immaturity- one who has not defined their values, flighty, drifters, uncertain • Maturity-clear values, life of purpose, meaning and direction

10. Positive Ways to Manage Anger

11. COOL OFF– Calm Down • Take a time out to cool down

12. Attack the Problem not the person No name calling or put downs

13. Brainstorm reasonable ways to handle the situation • Make a list • Find a middle ground • Find a creative solution

14. “I Feel…” • Explain how his or actions make you feel

15. Learn the the other person’s point of view “hmmm how would I feel” Ask Questions

16. Ask for Help • If you cannot resolve problem yourself.

17. Effective Conflict Management or Resolution Strategies T.A.L.K. Take a time out        to calm down and think through my anger. Allow each person to tell his or her side        then paraphrase the other persons position. Let each person ask questions        in order to view the issue from the others point of view. Keep brainstorming solutions        either to find the middle ground or creative solution

18. Decision-making skills 1. Identify the Problem • (Identify, ask yourself questions, what choices do you need to make and who else if anyone is involved) • What are the choices • (List everything, ask for suggestions and make sure they are safe.) • Gather Information- what’s helpful to know before making a decision • Consider outcomes and values • (honesty, respect and trust) Consequences of each options Healthful Ethical Legal and Parent approval) • Make a decision and act. • (Ready to take action, choose a course that supports your values, the impact of all choices on self and others and ask a trusted adult if unsure.) • Evaluate your decision • (Reach expectations, how did it affect others, how you feel about yourself and what could you do differently)

19. Pre Game-Warm Up • Make a list of different ways people communicate.

20. The Importance of Communicating • Skills don’t just happen…Need to practice! • Start and Keep Relationships strong • Help people grow closer( shared interests..) • Vital to many areas of your life( work place, marriages)

21. Practicing Communication Skills • What is communication? • What is body language and why should I care? • How can I communicate better? • Identify ways of being a good listener • Communicate using “I messages”

22. Communication Skills • Communication: The exchange of thoughts, feelings, beliefs and wants between two or more people.

23. Communication Skills

24. Communication Skills • Sometimes verbal and non verbal messages can send two different messages. For that reason, be aware of the non verbal messages you send= MIXED MESSAGE: occurs when your words say one thing but your body language says another. (i.e. “sorry” while grinning) • What does that tell the other person? Other examples??????

25. Communication Skills • You Messages: (blame /aggressive) “You can’t do anything right!” • I Messages- A statement that presents a situation from the speaker’s personal feelings/viewpoint: • “I’m mad because I wanted to work on the project together”

26. Communication Skills • Effective Verbal Communication: • Speaking Skills Listening Skills • Be clear Active Listening • Use “I messages” Pay attention • Stay Calm Use correct BL • Stick to the point THINK first • Choose the right time/place Ask open Questions • Be aware of tone and B Language

27. Sender: • Round 1 -Draw a picture on the Receivers back (ex. House , tree) Something recognizable. -Phone # - Pattern on how to get to some place in the classroom.

28. Receiver • Write down on a piece of paper what you feel your partner is writing on your back.

29. Communication Skills:PRACTICE: Round #2 Sender – Whispers -drawing -phone # -instructions on how to get to a place in the classroom (ex. Under, over, crawling) Receiver- follows directions.

30. Communication Skills • Round #3 • Sender – Demonstrates • Receiver- Follows Directions. • Reverse roles

31. Listening • Active Listening is hearing, thinking about and responding to the other person’s message. • More Listening Tips! • Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Don’t be thinking about what you are going to say next or interrupt. • Nod your head to show you are listening- give feed back”(then what happened?” • Let the person finish speaking! • Stay calm- even if you’re hearing something you don’t like • Keep an open mind; Listen even if you disagree accept that others won’t always think the same way you do.

32. Peer Pressure & Refusal Skills • Pressure pushed toward making a certain choice. • A Peer is someone in your own age group. • Peer Pressure someone your own age, is pushing you toward making a certain choice

33. Peer Pressure • Spoken vs. Unspoken

34. Peer  Pressure • Examples of Positive • Honor Roll • Make a team/club •   Follow the rules •   Respect others • Group Fitness • Running group

35. Peer Pressure • Examples of Negative •   Underage drinking/smoking • Gossiping • Stealing •   Fighting •   Bullying • Ditching a friend

36. List reasons it is difficult to say no… …  want to be accepted and liked by people my own age. … are afraid of being rejected …don’t want to lose a friend …  want to appear grown up …  don’t want to be made fun of …don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings …  aren’t sure of what they really want …  don’t know how to get out of the situation • I ….

37. REASONING • Giving reasons to do something or why it would be OK • (Spoken pressure)

38. REJECTION • Threatening to leave someone out or end a friendship • (spoken pressure)

39. The Huddle • A GROUP STANDS TOGETHER LAUGHING OR TALKING, WITH THEIR BACKS TO OTHERS • (UNSPOKEN)

40. The Example • Popular kids simply buy or wear something, because they set an example, others want to follow • (unspoken)

41. The Look • Kids who think they’re cool give a look that means: we’re cool, and you’re not” • (Unspoken pressure)

42. Refusal and Negotiation Skills • S.T.O.P. • Say no in a firm voice • Tell why not • Offer other ideas • Promptly leave

43. Refusal Responses • “Everyone’s Doing it” • You’re wrong… I’m not doing it” • “ A real friend would do it” • “A real friend wouldn't ask” “Are you afraid?” “No, just smart”

44. A clear message depends on the way you communicate • Aggressive: • Overly forceful, pushy, hostile • Passive Giving up, giving in, backing down, easy to persuade. • Assertive • Confidence and clearly stating your intentions

45. Conflict vs. Bullying • Learning how to take charge of your own emotional and physical safety, how to act safely and respectfully towards others even if you feel frustrated or upset, how to set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others

46. Cyber Bullying Steps to reduce cyber bullying • Do not respond or reply electronically • Save the evidence • Tell a trusted adult • Report the issue to the cite

47. Conflict vs. Bullying • Conflict is a normal part of most relationships because people have different perspectives and priorities • People can also be hurtful to each other because of thoughtlessness, annoyance, poor boundaries, and experimenting with negative uses of their power without realizing the impact

48. Bullying • Bullying – a more powerful person who picks on a less powerful person or group of persons. • Forms of bullying • Including physical threats or violence; name-calling and teasing; ostracism; and social attacks on someone’s reputation • People can bully others directly, in person; indirectly, such as by gossiping or ‘badmouthing’ by voice to others; or through any form of communication technology including talking on the phone, writing, texting, emailing, tweeting, facebook (and other social media), and recording