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Employing Interdependence

Employing Interdependence. Working with others for a common outcome/result. 4 ways to relate to others. Dependence- I can’t achieve my goals by myself—Takes to much. Codependence- I have to help others reach their goals before I help myself-- They give to much.

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Employing Interdependence

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  1. Employing Interdependence Working with others for a common outcome/result.

  2. 4 ways to relate to others • Dependence- I can’t achieve my goals by myself—Takes to much. • Codependence- I have to help others reach their goals before I help myself-- They give to much. • Independence-By working hard, I can get what I want all by myself. Seldom gives or receives. • Interdependence-I know that I can accomplish more if I work with others and have more fun at the same time. Finds a healthy balance of giving and receiving. • Which one are you?

  3. Maturity • When you move from independence to interdependence • Seek assistance from instructors, librarians, academic advisors and counselors, community and family. • Easiest way to graduation is seeking the help of others and not feeling like you have to do it all alone. • Helps you to stay on course and supports your accomplishments. • Pg. 124 Giving and receiving story

  4. Codependent • The most destructive relationship type. • Not proud of themselves, but motivated by the approval of others. • Spend more time in quadrant III where other peoples needs are more urgent than their own goals and dreams.

  5. Creating a support network • Use the OPB—Other People’s Brain/Brawn • Seek help from your instructors • Use the college resources—tutoring labs, financial aid office, counseling, advisors, infirmary, career center, student activities office. • Create a project team- Ad hoc, Latin, means toward this (forms for a certain purpose and then disbands) 3 or 4 heads are better than 1 • Study group- meets for the sole purpose to help each other do better and they meet often during the semester. For your group choose only creators. Choose group goals Choose group rules Be sure those that you spend time with have your best interest at heart. Who you spend your time with has a direct impact on your outcomes and experiences during college. Be sure to include people who are not like yourself. Different ages, races, and genders will help you to diversify and break down barriers, which could include discrimination. This broadens your sense of tolerance and self. Build a contact list of the people you meet in college. Keep in touch with them. Develop supportive relationships

  6. Strengthen relationships with active listening • Active listening shows high self esteem and that you value what the other person has to say. • Good listeners clear their minds and listen for the entire message. This includes words, tone of voice, gestures, and facial expressions. • It means that you accept 100% responsibility for receiving the message uncontaminated by your own feelings or thoughts. You do this through empathy. • Empathy is when you put yourself in the other persons shoes while you try to understand.

  7. How to active listenpg. 132 • Listen to understand • Clear your mind and remain silent. • Ask the person to explain or clarify. • Reflect the other persons thoughts and feelings.

  8. Interdependence At Work • Employers want people who are team players. Meaning that they can relate, understand, be flexible, and get along with others. • Learning to work together now, a study group, will help you when you land a job.

  9. Interdependence while seeking a job • Interview and talk to someone that is currently doing that job. Does the company live up to its mission statement? • While interviewing them, ask if they are currently any jobs you are qualified for that are open or going to become open in the near future? Ask them if they know of any potential job openings that you might pursue. This is the “invisible” market. • Build relationships or die • Find a mentor

  10. Being AssertivePlacing and blaming keeps victims for developing supportive relationships, making accomplishments more difficult. Inner self esteem is damaged. • Placating- Inner Critic- Place themselves below others, protecting themselves from the sting of criticism and rejections of others. Feel as if they are begging for the approval of other people. They do what is urgent to others but not important to their goals and dreams. 50% of people use placating as their major communication style. • Blaming- Inner Defender- They protect themselves from others by placing themselves about others, to protect themselves from disappointment and failure by making others fully responsible for their problems. 30% of people use blaming as their major communication style.

  11. LevelingCreators communication style • Asserting the truth as you see it. Creators do not feel the need to apologize or offer excuses. This requires a strong Inner Guide and commitment to honesty. • Strategies that promote leveling: • Communicate purposefully- • Communicate honestly- • Communicate responsibly- Leveling positively addresses the issue, nurtures the relationship, and demonstrates high self-esteem.

  12. Making requests • Creators also use assertiveness and high self esteem when they make requests of others. • Seek yes or no answers • Assertive creators also say “NO” • Say no and do not feel bad about it. The word is very empowering. • Say it in a positive way

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