Honoring Parents by Offering Healthy Relationship Education

1. Honoring Parents by Offering Healthy Relationship Education North American Society of Adlerian Psychology Conference June, 2009 Presenters: Kim Allen, Ph.D. Director of the Center on Adolescent Sexuality, Pregnancy and Parenting (CASPP) Human Development/Family Studies State Specialist

2. Understanding Poverty

3. “No significant learning occurs without a significant relationship.”-- Dr. James Comer

4. Situational Versus Generational • Situational poverty • Results from a change in circumstances – job loss, divorce, death of a spouse. • Values and behaviors of the socioeconomic class from which people come remain with them. • Tend to have more resources. • May be more employable because they often have a higher level of education. • Generational poverty • Two or more generations of the same family have lived in poverty. • May be better able to cope with living in poverty. • Tend to have predictable patterns of behavior. Sources: Payne, R. K. (1998). A Framework for understanding poverty. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing. Payne, R. K., DeVol, P. E., & Smith, T. D. (1999). Bridges out of poverty: Strategies for professionals and communities. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.

5. Hidden RulesAmong Socioeconomic Classes • Source: • Payne, R. K. (1998). A Framework for understanding poverty. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.

6. Tyranny of the Moment • Life is unpredictable – every day there is a new crisis that must be dealt with. • Lack of affordable and dependable child care • Unreliable transportation • Job stability • Because there are few certainties, it is difficult to plan ahead.

7. Language Differences • When attention is focused on survival, other areas tend to suffer. Sources: Paris, S. G., & Stahl, S. J. (Eds.). (2005). Children’s reading comprehension and assessment. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Payne, R. K., DeVol, P. E., & Smith, T. D. (1999). Bridges out of poverty: Strategies for professionals and communities. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.

8. Fragile Family Research • Young • Unmarried • African-American, Latino, and Caucasian • Parents • Often with Educational Issues • Sometimes with Counseling Aversions • Often from Families without Positive Marriage Traditions • On the Cusp of Generational Poverty • With More Dreams than Skills

9. What Is Connecting for Children? • Partnership between University of Missouri Extension and Central Missouri Community Action Head Start • Funded by the Office of Head Start Healthy Marriage Initiative • Features Weekend Retreats and Relationship Workshops

10. What Is Connecting for Children? • Eligibility guidelines: • Pregnant or have a child age 5 or younger • Single or in a non-violent relationship • Live in one of the following counties: Audrain, Boone, Callaway, Cole, Cooper, Howard, Moniteau, or Osage • Income-eligible for Head Start (130% of poverty level) • Participation is voluntary

11. Weekend Retreats • All-expense paid Retreats – English or Spanish • Couples or co-parents • Couples Part 2 • Singles or people in relationships who are coming alone • Program pays for extra hotel room for caregiver and children when needed, as well as meals for all • Facilitated by Community Trainers • Seven couples and three individuals trained • Ten Couples’ and three Singles’ Retreats held to date

12. Couples’ Retreats Love’s Cradle curriculum,by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney • Focuses on the following skills provided in the curriculum: • Showing Understanding • Expression Skill • Discussion Skill • Problem Solving • Managing Conflict

13. Couples’ Retreats - Part 2 Love’s Cradle curriculum,by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney • Focuses on the following skills provided in the curriculum: • Coaching Skill • Maintaining Changes • Using Skills Any Time, Any Place • Following Through on Change • Helping Others Change • Option being offered beginning in Year 2 of our grant; 16 couples have already expressed an interest

14. Singles’ Retreats • How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk(ette) curriculum,by John Van Epp • Helps participants learn how to build healthy relationships using both head and heart – emphasizes pacing a relationship. • Love’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney • Addresses the skills that can help regardless of whether or not participants are in a relationship – Showing Understanding, Expression Skill, and Discussion Skill.

15. Educational Workshops • Saturday or Weekly Sessions – English or Spanish • Weeknights – Cover 1-2 topics over several months • Saturdays – Cover 4 topics over three Saturdays

16. Workshop Topics • Getting to Know You • Lighten Up—Love and Laughter • Couple Communication • Fire Prevention: Managing Conflict in Relationships • Family Ties – Complex Family Relationships • Money, Money, Money • To Work • Healthy Minds • Healthy Relationships • Parenting with Love • Just Cool It! Managing Anger in Couple Relationships • Safety

17. In working with a low income audience, what are some things we need to do to be successful?

18. Building an Inclusive Program

19. Building an Inclusive Program

20. Resources • Marketing materials • Curricula

21. Questions?

22. Thank You!