Movement Drawings a nd Writing Summer 2010

1. Movement Drawings and Writing Summer 2010 By: Mandy Morgan

2. STOP!

3. Lying watching the clouds pass by. What do you see, you don’t know. Here let me tell you what I see. I see a bunny running, oh look a lamb. Oh no, lamb run! Too late the bunny already caught it. Lamb fades, so does the bunny. Bye, bye lamb. Bye, bye bunny. Hey look over there do you see Kevin from Up. I know I do. Wait, hang on. It’s not just Kevin, it’s a face with a nose and lips. It’s a boy starring at me. A face of wonder. The face changes into a body. Ooo, another face shows up. Full of sadness and grief. Instead of being white it is now grey. The clouds still change. Happy lying there, relaxed. Birds twitter, trees blow. Warm sun shining on down, shining down on me. Still looking and watching, look the lamb. It’s back! Fluffy white, and pure. Standing on green grass. Imagination flows, wondering. I wonder if clouds can tell you your destiny? Truthfully, can anything? I guess not. You’ll just know when you know. Are you the bunny that has eaten the lamb, pure and innocent lamb? Or, are you Kevin from Up that gives you a face, a wondering face? Looking and imagining. Who are you, who am I. We, are all creatures who wonder this Earth. We Might be the top, but are we the best? It is a privilege for us to be here. Living so nicely. Are we really? Destroying pure and innocent things. You know, we are pure too. We can be innocent things, but we really are not. We destroy our surroundings. Making everything sick. The cars can tell you. Toyota is dying. So are all of us. We are dying with Earth, we just don’t know it. Think, Earth is mad. It is hitting us, killing us. Breaking our stuff. Really, our stuff? No, it really is not. It belongs to Earth. Everything does. We just go, go, go. Make, make, make. We go, we make. But, do we stop? No, we won’t until Earth does. Earth has feeling too. You just have to stop, to realize it.

4. Imagination Bird The bird is stopping looking at what is going on, showing it’s beauty. The face is mesmerized by the bird on how quiet it sits on the post. Why can’t we?

5. My Bedroom How many beds are there? Can you see the wind? Where is the mirror? Where is the light coming from? Is there really a window?

6. Me & My Friends

7. My mind is always going, there is no shutting down. I try to shut my ears to turn off the conversations that go on, but no use. They don’t stop, unless I shut my mouth and stop breathing. My mouth is my only way of breathing. Please I cry, just stop! No they never listen. I’m tired, I want to sleep, and too many of you are talking at once. Please Stop, I yell. You’re giving me a headache. I shut my mouth and hold my breath until they’re gone. Snap, doesn’t work. So tired, can’t rest. Please I beg, go away! No, they’re still there and still talking. My hands fling out trying to push them away. No use, they will not leave. I look ridiculous, facial expression always changing! I try and hold my hand in a fist or across my stomach. Maybe the urge will be reduced, usually isn’t. I ask them if they have to be with me, they say yes. So I hold on to them, maybe they’re lost too. Closing my ears does nothing, except it gives us more quietness to talk. However, I don’t always want to talk to them. They throw my mind and reasoning skills off to where I can see what the sign says or see what you do, but seeing is not always the issue. I see how you are supposed to do something. Get a great idea of how something is, or how to do something. That is as far as it gets. They usually cut in while gathering all the information of what to do or figuring things out is in progress. My mind is then blinded with bars over it, that makes what I thought I saw or understood trapped, as if I was in jail and nothing is coming out correctly. It makes it seem like I can’t really understand what people really want and the people in my head disagree with me, they think I do know. I question myself of how I did it wrong, but recovering from what just happened is tough. It frustrates me to the point I weep. Weeping and talking to them, makes my mouth parched and thriving for water. I do wish that sometimes I could have some alone time. Well, it’s a party in my mind all the time, ALL THE TIME!

8. Evil vs. Good Which way do you go? (Don’t answer out loud)

9. What I Want

10. I have no clue what’s going on, my head is spinning, my legs are dropping, my arms are flopping, is anything connected. I only feel my neck, the neck that tightens and squeezes me, almost choking me, the rest is apart. Apart, but still here, I only feel my torso and head, everything is gone. Gone, but I want it! Will make myself have it, even though it is lost. I will not lose them, forever. I can’t, not you! I need you! Looking down at the past, could I have gotten any better? I have come so far. Farther than I remember. I was still me with the personality I am now, but I have changed. I have changed into a young lady, who has overcome so much with the desire to prove people wrong. I guess I’ve won, but I still have to hold onto you. Hold onto you with a positive attitude and the kind person I am.

11. I can’t help but wonder if my parents did not fight for me to get a good education, if I could be like some of the other kids who I love to be with. Would I have had the knowledge and the words to speak out for myself? Would I still be non-verbal? Would I be limited to what I can say based on what people have given me? Would I always be dependent and not be able to fulfill my dreams that I long for? Would I have been classified as Autism instead of Asperger’s? My heart breaks to see others like this and it is all I can do not to break down and cry. To see that they just might have a potential in life, if their parents are willing to work with them. To get them the help they need, even if they have to get a label for their child. Some of them are more aware of what we think we even realize. To me, I think they are smarter than us, but their mind is going so fast that they can hold one piece of information long enough. Who I was, does not matter anymore. What matters is I can try and help others so they can have a wonderful life, like I have been able to have.

12. Butterfly Kisses This kiss is what I am working forward to giving one day. It may take twelve more years, but I will give someone a butterfly kiss. One day, I will. Until then, here you go. (Do you see the butterfly?)