The Jesus Habits

1. The Jesus Habits The Habit Of Listening Lesson 6

2. Definition of listening • Focusing on what another person is saying with your ears, mind, eyes, and body, making that person feel valued by you “People will rarely remember your advice, but they will remember that you listened” --Cara Lawrence

3. Reasons why some people are not good listeners • Too busy • Television, radio, internet • Background noise • Not making eye contact • Thinking of something to say while listening • Letting the mind wander • Lack of ability to concentrate

4. Jesus showed us how to listen • He was and still is the consummate listener • He listened with his entire being • Those speaking to Him had His full attention • By listening He made people feel they had value

5. Jesus listened to the rich young ruler • Mark 10:17-22 • Vs. 21…looking…to look at with the mind • Jesus listened intently • Do you think this man went away knowing he had been heard? • Should we listen to people even if we disagree with them?

6. Jesus listened to an intellectual • John 3:1-16 • Nicodemus did not understand what Jesus was teaching • Jesus listened, heard him out, then shared the truth with him • Our listening earns us the right to share with a person…why?

7. Jesus listened to the woman at the well • John 4:7-30 • What lessons can we learn from Jesus? • He listened • His listening showed patience • His listening showed she was important • He listened but did not condemn • His listening lead to her being teachable • His listening lead to others believing…vs. 39

8. Jesus listened to the Gentile woman • Mark 7:24-30…this woman was hurting • Why would most Jews not listen to her? • People around us are hurting…a listening ear can make a big difference • Pray God will place you at the right place, at the right time to listen to someone

9. Enemies to the habit of listening • Busyness…I don’t have time to listen • Distractions…Is that my cell phone? I wonder what’s being said over there? • Lack of interest…I just don’t care what this person is saying • Selfishness…I want to talk about me “The first duty of love is to listen” –Paul Tillich

10. Make listening a habit • When you are with someone, make that person your focus • It’s the ‘you matter’ factor • Neglect everything else and everyone else around you for that moment • Planned neglect • Look directly at the person in the eyes • The eyes are the windows to the soul

11. Make listening a habit • Don’t be looking around at other people • At that moment nobody else matters except the person who is talking • Watch facial expressions, body language, and tone • We can learn much from a person’s cues • Forget your cell phone for the moment • Put away anything that could hinder you from listening

12. Make listening a habit • Position your body in a way that says, “I am focusing on you at this moment” • Body language indicates the degree to which you are listening • The other person will notice • Don’t be thinking about what you are going to say in response to what the person is saying • You will miss hearing key thoughts and words • Quell your desire to talk

13. Make listening a habit • Ask questions for clarification and to keep conversation on track • Don’t let the conversation wander • Don’t prejudge, making up your mind about what the person is going to say before they say it • Let the person talk • Sometimes people will answer their own questions