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Helping Students and Families make Good Decisions . Shirley Cobb Associate Director Counseling & Student Development Center. Mindset List Class of 2012. Most of the students entering college this fall, members of the Class of 2012, were born in 1990.
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Helping Students and Families make Good Decisions Shirley Cobb Associate Director Counseling & Student Development Center
Mindset List Class of 2012 Most of the students entering college this fall, members of the Class of 2012, were born in 1990. • They have never “rolled down” a car window. • They probably have never heard a phone “ring” or played solitaire with real cards. • A Southerner has always been President of the United States. • What Berlin wall? • MTV has never featured music videos. • Thongs no longer come in pairs and slide between the toes.
The First Year: A Time of Stress, Change, & Transition Who am I? With whom will I be? What am I going to do?
In High School: Established group of friends “Big fish in a small pond” Frequent personal contact with teacher Dependence: Students rely on parents, teachers, etc. to help make decisions and set limits Lower academic competition, expectations, and standards; good grades may come with little effort In College: A new social network “Small fish in a big pond” Faculty available during office hours Independence: Students make many of their own decisions and set their own limits Higher academic competition, expectations, and standards; bad grades may come with little effort The First Year: A Time of Stress, Change, & Transition
From a professor to a student at Ohio University: “I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.”
College Parenting 101 Expect some changes in your student
College Parenting 101 Convey your confidence in your student’s ability to succeed
College Parenting 101 Let your student prepare to leave home over the summer
College Parenting 101 Keep the lines of communication open
Early warning signs of a problem include: • Calling or going home too frequently • Skipping classes • Difficulty keeping up with coursework and assignments • Exhibiting overconfidence despite contrary evidence • Parental notification of student alcohol or drug use
College Parenting 101 Allow your student the opportunity to make decisions and solve problems
An Alternative Title We Considered . . . How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
The most important thing you can say to your freshman student is: What is it that you think you should do about this problem?
Safety @ JMU • Comprehensive Plan • Crisis Communication System • Intervention Team • Personal responsibility
What Risks to My Student’s Safety Should Cause Me the Most Concern? • “Saliency Effect” • Most Common Risks • Motor Vehicle Accidents • Alcohol Poisoning • Suicide • Illegal & Prescription Drug Abuse
Alcohol Use & Abuse:Every University’s 800 PoundGorilla in the Room
An Area in Which We’d Like You to Hover a Bit . . . • Initiate conversations • Avoid scare tactics • Clear expectations • Perceptions vs. reality • Be a good role model • Repeat the message
Let’s Start Right Now:Parent Postcards 1. Write a message to your son or daughter about health and wellness issues. • 2. Put the card in the envelope, seal it, and CLEARLY PRINT your child’s: • First name • Middle Initial • Last Name • We’ll send the postcard to your student early fall semester • 3. Drop off completed postcard: • Grafton-Stovall Lobby • Warren Hall
College Parenting 101 Talk about finances, especially credit cards
A little college credit card trivia . . . $2,327 Average credit card debt for a college student
Defining financial “emergencies” If you can eat it, drink it, or wear it, then it’s not an emergency.
College Parenting 101 Avoid the “empty nest syndrome”
College Parenting 101 Learn about support services available to your student
When You’reFinished Here . . . • Business Office • CommonWealth One Federal Credit Union • Counseling & Student Development Center • Dining • Financial Aid & Scholarships • Health Center • Information Technology (computers) • Parent Relations • Residence Life Open House
Free, Confidential Services • Individual counseling • Group counseling • Psychiatric • Consultation (helping you help others) http://www.jmu.edu/counselingctr/Resources/families.html • Outreach • 24/7 crisis intervention
Let’s Start Right Now:Parent Postcards 1. Write a message to your son or daughter about health and wellness issues. • 2. Put the card in the envelope, seal it, and CLEARLY PRINT your child’s: • First name • Middle Initial • Last Name • We’ll send the postcard to your student early fall semester • 3. Drop off completed postcard: • Grafton-Stovall Lobby • Warren Hall