But Will They Listen???

But Will They Listen??? Why You Should Be Talking to Your Teenager About Sex. A parenting workshop By Amy Barber 1

Goals: • To increase knowledge base regarding teen sexual behavior. • Recognize the importance of their role in educating their teenager about sex. • Identify sources to find additional information about talking to teenagers about sex. 2

Pre – Learning Assessment True/False 1. _____ Adolescents in the United States have the highest rate of unplanned pregnancy among Western industrialized countries. 2. ______ Of the 11 measures the Center for Disease Control and Prevention surveys for: Texas teens are higher than the remainder of US teen population in 8 measures. 3. ______ Teenagers who engage in sexual behaviors are at risk of teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections which include HIV/AIDS. 4. ______ In order for parents to talk to their teenager about sex they must have taken specialized training on teenage sexual behavior patterns. 5. _______ There is really no point in talking to teenagers about abstinence, birth control or sexually transmitted diseases, because they won’t listen any way. 3

Pre – Learning Assessment 6. Approximate percent of teenagers in the State of Texas who had sexual intercourse with more than 4 persons. A. 4.6% C. 16.5% B. 9.2% D. 18.3% 7. Approximate percent of teenagers who did not use a condom during last sexual intercourse A. 10.5% C. 37.4% B. 25.8% D. 42.3% 8. Parents can have a powerful impact on their teenager’s decision to have sex by A. spending time with their teenager C. communicating values with their teenager B. being supportive of their teenager D. All of the above 9. The median age at first intercourse for both males and females is A. 14 C. 16 B. 15 D. 17 10. Resources for parents can be found A. For free at local library C. By talking to religious leader B. At free clinics D. All of the Above 4

Activity 1: Not My Teenager http://diagnosehivsymptoms.com/ http://concreteloop.com/2008/04/std-awareness-month http://www.123rf.com/photo_8829115_beautiful-baby-with-boxing-gloves-breaking-the-egg.html 5

But My Teenager Isn’t Having Sex… According to the 2009 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 51.6% of teens, in Texas, report they have been sexually active (Texas Department of State Health Services, 2009). Of teenage respondents who were sexually active, 39 % did not use a condom (Center for Disease Prevention and Control, 2009). 77% of teens who were sexually active did not use any other form of birth control, such as the birth control pill or Depo – Provera injection, prior to the last time they had intercourse (CDC, 2009). As a result 42 % of teenage females between the ages of 15 – 19 gave birth in 2009 (CDC, 2009). About half of all teenagers are having sex, and almost half will become a parent (CDC, 2009). 6

So what would that look like… (Texas Department of State Health Services, 2009) 7

What are Some Youth Risk Behaviors? • Destruction of Property • Smoking Cigarettes • Smoking Marijuana • Drinking Alcohol • Harder drugs • Sexual Activity • (Cook, Buehler and Henson, 2009) 8

Possible Cause and Effect of Risky Behavior 9

What are some possible risks of Teen Sexual Activity ? • Teen Pregnancy • Multiple Sexual Partners • Sexually Transmitted Infections • HIV/AIDS • (Deptula, Henry, Schoeny, 2010) 10

So Why Parents? Ecological Systems Theory: Combines ecological developmental and system influences in understanding youth risk. Specifically it identifies the family as the ideal mechanism for prevention and change given the family’s proximal to the individual. (Deptula, et al., 2010) 11

Broffenbrenner’s Ecological System (Bigner, 2010; Deptula, et al., 2010) 12

Texas Education Agency Health Education: The student engages in behaviors that reduce health risks throughout the life span. The student is expected to: • Identify information relating to abstinence. • Analyze the importance of abstinence from sexual activity as the preferred choice of behavior in relationship to all sexual activity for unmarried persons of school age. • Discuss abstinence from sexual activity as the only method that is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and the sexual transmission of HIV or AIDS, and the emotional trauma associated with adolescent sexual activity. TEKS: 115.23.b.5.D – F http://ritter.tea.state.tx.us/rules/tac/chapter115/ch115b.html 13

Do I have the qualifications? Shouldn’t trained professionals teach sex education? Schools are bound by state and government lawsas to what they can teach. Parents are not. Parents can shares their values and beliefs. Parents can share their hopes and dreams for their child. Parents are not bound by the school calendar. Parents already have their child’s trust. 14

BUT WILL THEY LISTEN??? THE SHORT ANSWER IS YES… But let’s look at why. 15

Shouldn’t a Trained Professional Teach my Child? Not necessarily. Parent’s level of comfort was not related with sexual risk. The goal should be warm, open, and receptive conversations; a teen’s perception that their parent wants a high quality relationship is most important in delayed sexual initiation and use of contraception if/when sexual relations begins (Deptula, et al., 2010). 16

A school doesn’t have to teach my particular values to be effective. Right? Even if public schools were allowed to teach religion as part of a comprehensive sex education program no teacher will ever be able to fully articulate every specific religious belief. Parental values are strongly associated with delayed sexual intercourse, sexual autonomy, sexual relatedness, and sexually inexperienced teenagers expectation that first sex will occur when they are in love or in a relationship, rather than just sexually attracted to someone (Parkes, et al., 2011). 17

What their friends say and do matters more than anything we say or do as parents. Right? Research suggests that both parents and peers influence the socialization of adolescents especially in early adolescence. However, over time adolescents rely on parents to influence certain choices, specifically those decisions that involve their personal safety and well – being (Cook, et al., 2008). 18

Does having a long-term trusting relationship really matter? Established parent/child relationship, is one of the most important factors in why parents are the best choice for educating their teenager about sex. The long term relationship they already have in place. “Teens who have not had sex yet reported that they had a more supportive parental relationship than their peers who were already having sex” (Parkes, et al., 2011). 19

So the answer is yes! • Parents are experts: • On their teenager. • On their own values & beliefs • On wanting the best future for their teenager. • In having multiple opportunities for discussion. When teenagers are active agents in their own life with higher levels of planful competence in mid - adolescence they are more likely to achieve success in adulthood such as stable marriages and higher educational attainment. (Moilanen, et al., 2010) 20

There are many books out that give parents guidance for how and when to begin talking to your child about sex. There are also books that help you become more comfortable with the topic before you do so. These are just a few suggestions. You may also want to seek guidance from your religious leaders through church, synagogue or mosque . They can help you articulate your religious beliefs. If you would like to know more… 21

Review of Learning True/False 1. TRUE Adolescents in the United States have the highest rate of unplanned pregnancy among Western industrialized countries. 2. TRUEOf the 11 measures the Center for Disease Control and Prevention surveys for: Texas teens are higher than the remainder of US teen population in 8 measures. 3. TRUE Teenagers who engage in sexual behaviors are at risk of teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections which include HIV/AIDS. 4. FALSE In order for parents to talk to their teenager about sex they must have taken specialized training on teenage sexual behavior patterns. 5. FALSE There is really no point in talking to teenagers about abstinence, birth control or sexually transmitted diseases, because they won’t listen any way. 22

Review of Learning/Multiple Choice 6. Approximate percent of teenagers in the State of Texas who had sexual intercourse with more than 4 persons. A. 4.6% C. 16.5% B. 9.2% D. 18.3% 7. Approximate percent of teenagers who did not use a condom during last sexual intercourse A. 10.5% C. 37.4% B. 25.8% D. 42.3% 8. Parents can have a powerful impact on their teenager’s decision to have sex by A. spending time with their teenager C. communicating values with their teenager B. being supportive of their teenager D. All of the above 9. The median age at first intercourse for both males and females is A. 14 C. 16 B. 15 D. 17 10. Resources for parents can be found A. For free at local library C. By talking to religious leader B. At free clinics D. All of the Above 23

Question/Answer Thank you for your time and attendance. For more information on this workshop or others like it please contact: Amy Barber abarber2@twu.edu 24

But Will They Listen???