Active Listening

1. Active Listening Authors: Carl R. Rogers & Richard E Farson Presented by: Chase Thomas

2. Carl R. Rogers Bio 1924- Received B.A. from University of Wisconsin 1928- M.A. from Columbia University 1931- Ph.D. from Columbia University in Psychotherapy Professor of Psychology for many years at Ohio State Univ., Univ. of Chicago, and Wisconsin Author of over 100 publications Breaking theory of personality development-Client-Centered Therapy

3. Richard E. Farson University of Minnesota as a Naval Officer Trainee Occidental College-received both a bachelors and masters degree University of Chicago-received a Ph.D. in psychology in 1955 Also attended UCLA for graduate study Author of “Management of the Absurd: Paradoxes in Leadership;""Whoever Makes the Most Mistakes Wins: The Paradox of Innovation“- wonMcKinsey award for the best article published in 2002 1949- Met Carl Rogers 1958- formed Western Behavioral Sciences Institute

4. “ People are more effectively motivated when they are given some degree of freedom in the way in which they do their work than when every action is prescribed in advance. They do better when some degree of decision making about their jobs is possible than when all decisions are made for them. They respond more adequately when they are treated as personalities than as cogs in a machine. In short, if the ego motivation of self-determination, of self-expression, of a sense of personal worth can be tapped, the individual can be more effectively energized. The use of external sanctions, or pressuring for production may work to some degree, but not to the extent that the more internalized motives do. When the individual comes to identify himself with his job and with the work of his group, human resources are much more fully utilized in the production process” (Report from Survey Research Center at University of Michigan).

5. The Meaning of Active Listening • Ability to listen intelligently and carefully to those with whom you work • Listening skills that will help employees gain a clearer understanding of their situations, take responsibility, and cooperate with each other • Definite Responsibility-not passive on absorbing words which are spoken • Grasp the facts and feelings in what is heard to HELP the speaker work out his own problems

6. Meaning (con’t) • Appreciate both the meaning and the feeling behind what is being said • Active listening must be grounded in the basic attitudes of the user • Must genuinely respect the potential worth of the individual considering his or her rights and trust their capacity for self-direction

8. What is Achieved by Listening: • Important way to bring about changes in people • Research suggests that even though listening is a passive approach, sensitive listening is a most effective agent for individual personality change and group development • Brings about changes in basic values and personal philosophy • Emotional maturity-more open to own experiences • Less defensive • More democratic, less authoritarian

9. Achievement (con’t) • When listened to carefully, people tend to listen to themselves with more care and make clear exactly what they are feeling and thinking • Reduces the threat of having one’s ideas criticized, making the person better able to see them for what they are • More likely to feel that their contributions are worthwhile

10. The Growth of the Individual: • From childhood on, people have learned to think of themselves in very definite and certain ways • Sometimes self-pictures are realistic, however sometimes they are not • Awkward teenager- star athlete • Older overweight lady- extremely young and attractive • Harder to accept experiences that don’t fit- hang on to as a self-picture • Direct attempts to change an individual or change their self-picture is threatening- forced to defend and creates difficulties in personal adjustment • Active Listening is the exact opposite of this

11. How to Listen: • Must create a climate that is neither critical, evaluative, nor moralizing.. It must foster equality, trust, understanding, and acceptance • Must grasp and convey to the speaker that you are seeing things from their point of view • Listen for Total Meaning: A message has two components: • the content of the message • and the feeling (attitude) underlying the content • both give the message meaning • Let the speaker know that they are heard and understood

12. How To Listen (con’t) • Respond to Feelings: Many times content is far less important than the feeling behind it • The listener must try to remain sensitive to the total meaning the message has to the speaker • What are they trying to tell me? • What does this mean to them? • How do they see the situation?

13. How To (con’t) • Note All Clues: • Not all communication is verbal- become aware of several kinds of communication • Hesitation in Speech • Inflection in voice- stress certain points loud and clear and mumble others • Facial expressions • Body posture • Hand and eye movements All help to convey the Total Message

14. OutsideSource Is the message illustrated withwith visuals or examples? Is technology used effectively? Are concepts introduced incrementally,or with examples? Is the space conducive to listening? or to interaction or exchange with the speaker? Are there avoidable distractions? What do you think of thesubject matter? Is the speaker experienced or nervous? What are his/her  non-verbal cues? What frame of mind is he or she?

15. What to Avoid: • Trying to change the speaker’s way of looking at things- getting them to see the situation as you see it • Plead, reason, scold, encourage, insult- anything to bring about a change in the desired direction • Responding to your own needs to see the world in certain ways that you see it- do not influence your own views • Listener faces problems of having to respond to demands, decisions, and judgments- all seem to require the listener to agree or disagree • Must understand that an answer to a question is not as important as understanding the expression of feelings or needs the speaker communicates

16. Avoid (con’t) • Passing judgment- makes free expression difficult • Do not give too much advice or information- seen as efforts to change a person • Positive responses are sometimes as blocking as negative ones- makes it more difficult for speaker to tell of faults that distress him or her • Too much encouragement is seen as an attempt to motivate in certain directions rather than support comments “The road to success is a long, difficult one, and you must be patient.” “I’m sure everything will work out okay”

17. What is Communicated by Listening: • Most people feel that because listening is passive, it does not communicate anything to the speaker….”nothing could be farther from the truth..” “ I’m interested in you as a person, and I think that what you feel is important. I respect your thoughts, and even if I don’t agree with them, I know that they are valid for you. I feel sure that you have a contribution to make. I’m not trying to change you or evaluate you. I just want to understand you. I think you’re worth listening to, and I want you to know that I’m the kind of person you can talk to” (Rogers and Farson).

18. Testing for Understanding • Must constantly test your ability to see the world in the way the speaker does • Reflect in your own words what the speaker seems to mean by his words and actions- the response to this will tell you whether or not they feel understood • “assume that one never really understands until he can communicate this understanding to the other’s satisfaction.”

19. Problems in Active Listening • Personal Risk: “We all live in glass houses as far as our attitudes are concerned. They always show through.” • Risk being changed ourselves by seeing and understanding the world as someone else does • If only making a pretense of interest in the speaker, this will cause the speaker to no longer express freely • People are accustomed to seeing and hearing what they want to- making it difficult for a person to free themselves from the need to see things their way • Hostile Expressions: • Often directed toward listener • Can cause listener to be defensive

20. Problems (con’t) • Out-of-Place Expressions: unnatural or inappropriate behavior is difficult to handle- listener blocks out these expressions because of threatening content • Accepting Positive Feelings: “negative or hostile feelings …are much easier to deal with…than are positive feelings.” • True for manager because expected to be independent and aggressive, therefore tends to see such feelings as “soft” or “inappropriate” • Emotional Danger Signals: Listener’s own emotions are barriers to active listening • The more necessary to respond to our own needs, the less we are able to respond to another’s needs

21. Danger Signals: • Defensiveness: Stressing a point or trying to convince- less likely to listen • Resentment of Opposition: “It’s always easier to listen to an idea which is similar to one of your own than to an opposing view.” (Rogers) • Clash of Personalities

22. Listening to Ourselves: • “ A person’s listening ability is limited by his ability to listen to himself” (“Organizational Communication” Stewart Ferguson). • Listening to oneself is a prerequisite to listening to others • Most important to understand your own position, values, and needs