Sexual Assault Awareness Month 2012

1. Sexual Assault Awareness Month 2012 Shatter the silence of sexual violence! www.pavingtheway.net Healthy Relationships, Reporting & Shattering The Silence 101

2. April IS

3. Overview • Brief review Definitions and Stats • Healthy Relationships • Unhealthy Relationships • Healthy Relationships & Consent • The Importance of Reporting • Barriers to Reporting • Why Report • How to Report • The Decision to Not Report • Reporting On Campus • Shattering the Silence 101

4. Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats • Sexual Violence - Any act sexual in nature, whether verbal or physical, that breaks a person’s trust, violates their safety, or impedes upon their sexual autonomy. Sexual violence includes and is not limited to sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape. It also does not specify a gender or age and can be understood to encompass domestic violence or any violence based on one’s sexual identity.

5. Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats • Consent: Sexual activity requires consent, which is defined as clear, unambiguous, and voluntary agreement between the participants to engage in specific sexual activity. Consent cannot be inferred from the absence of a "no"; a clear "yes," verbal or otherwise, is necessary. • Although consent does not need to be verbal, verbal communication is the most reliable form of asking for and gauging consent, and individuals are thus urged to seek consent in verbal form. Talking with sexual partners about desires and limits may seem awkward, but serves as the basis for positive sexual experiences shaped by mutual willingness and respect.

6. Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats • Consent Definition Continued: • Consent cannot be obtained from someone who is asleep or otherwise mentally or physically incapacitated, whether due to alcohol, drugs, or some other condition. Consent cannot be obtained by threat, coercion, or force. Agreement given under such conditions does not constitute consent. • Consent must be clear and unambiguous for each participant throughout any sexual encounter. Consent to some sexual acts does not imply consent to others, nor does past consent to a given act imply ongoing or future consent. Consent can be revoked at any time. For all of these reasons, sexual partners must evaluate consent in an ongoing fashion and should communicate clearly with each other throughout any sexual encounter.

7. Brief Overview of Definitions and Stats • 1 in 4 women will be and 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18. (USDOJ) • Girls 16-19 are 4x more likely to experience a rape • 12% of girls and 5% of boys in high school have been sexually assaulted • 93% knew the perpetrator (www.rainn.org)

8. Healthy Relationships Unhealthy Relationships Healthy Relationships & Consent

9. Unhealthy Relationships • Unhealthy relationships can be precursors for sexual assault and dating violence • Pay attention to the warning signs • Both men and women can be abusers in unhealthy relationships

10. Early Warning Signs of Dating Violence Controlling Extreme Jealousy Manipulative Explosive Anger Unpredictable Mood Swings Low Self-Esteem Drug & Alcohol Use Possessiveness Push for a Quick Relationship Gender Stereotyping Abusive in Past

11. www.kariscandleofhope.org

12. Physical Abuse Shatter the silence of sexual violence! www.pavingtheway.net

13. Dating Violence QuizDoes Your Partner…? • Isolate you from friends you had before you began dating? • Frequently embarrass you or make fun of you in front of other people? • Use intimidation to make you do what he/she wants? • Make you feel there is “no way out” of the relationship? • Make you perform sexual acts that you don’t enjoy (against your will)?

14. Dating Violence QuizDoes Your Partner…? • Threaten you with force, words, or weapons? • Use alcohol or drugs as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you? • Get extremely anger frequently, and you don’t understand why? • Not believe he/she has hurt you or blame you for what he/she has done?

15. Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios 1. Kevin is walking in the school hallway with his friends and sees his girlfriend at her locker with her friends. When he goes up to her, she gives him a cold look and says loudly, “I don’t know why I even bother with you, loser! I guess I just keep you around because I feel sorry for you.” Kevin feels frustrated because he doesn’t know what he did and embarrassed because his friends saw his girlfriend put him down.

16. Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios 2. Jenny and Mike have lunch in the cafeteria with their friends. They start teasing each other, but then the playing turns to insults. Mike sees that Jenny is upset but doesn’t stop. When Jenny gets up and says, “Get away from me, I hate you,” Mike says, “Shut up” and slaps her across the face.

17. Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios 3. Tony and Emily have been going out for a few weeks, and he is beginning to act like he owns her. He complains when she spends time with her best friend- or anyone except him. He expects her to meet him in the halls between classes, eat lunch with him, let him go home with her after school, and be with him everyweekend. Afraid she’ll lose him, Emily begins to cut herself off from her friends.

18. Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios 4. Christine and Allison are in an intense argument. Christine gets madder and madder, until she finally grabs Allison, shakes her, and shoves her against the wall. Later, Christine apologizes, saying, “I’m not proud I lost my temper, but you really pushed my buttons. You should know better than to get up in my face like that, because you know I get too angry to control myself.

19. Sound Familiar? Unhealthy Scenarios 5. Juan and Maria, who have been going out for a few weeks, are making out. Maria has been clear that she doesn’t want to go any further than kissing, but Juan becomes aggressive, disregarding her request to slow down and back off. He forces her to have sex, and later tells her she was a tease and was asking for it.

20. Physical Signs of Injury Dropping Out of School or Missing School Frequently Failing Grades Indecision Changes in Mood or Personality Use of Drugs/Alcohol Pregnancy Emotional Outbursts Isolation Clues Someone Maybe Experiencing Dating Violence

21. How to Help a Friend • If you’re worried, say something • Listen, support, and believe them • Help your friend take action • Encourage them to get help and get out • Call in reinforcements

22. Ending an Unhealthy Relationship • Remember: No one deserves to be abused • Know that: It is never the victim’s fault • Talk to someone you can trust • Get medical attention if you have been physically harmed • Seek safety at your local shelter if needed Shatter the silence of sexual violence! www.pavingtheway.net

23. Ending an Unhealthy Relationship • Get out. Abusive relationships usually get worse over time • If the relationship is hurting you, it’s OK to break up • Get your friends or their friends involved. • If you feel threatened, make sure to have someone present during the break-up

24. www.kariscandleofhope.org

25. Absence of a NO Consent:Click here to watch a short clip on CONSENT by acclaimed film maker Denice Ann Evans More info – visit: www.CollegeHookUpCulture.com

26. The importance of Reporting Barriers to Reporting Why Report How to Report The Decision to Not Report Reporting On Campus

27. Barriers to Reporting www.RAINN.org

28. Barriers to Reporting • Why don't more people report their rape? • The most common reason given by victims (23%) is that the rape is a "personal matter." Another 16% of victims say that they fear reprisal, while 6% don't report because they believe that the police are biased. • Second Victimization • Victims of Color, Immigrant victims, LGBTQ Victims & other underserved populations have greater barriers • Fear of damaging relationships with family and friends

29. Barriers to Reporting • Legal system mitigates non stranger rape • Law enforcement lack trauma training and often re-victimize when collecting evidence • Offender sanctions inconsistent and often minimal • DNA Evidence and the Consent Defense • Jury in trials have misconceptions about sexual violence – victim blaming. • Because of all of these realities, many victims feel that reporting is just too time consuming and re-traumatizing…i.e. not worth it.

30. Why Report? • Reporting to the police is the key to preventing sexual assault: every time we lock up a rapist, we're preventing him or her from committing another attack. It's the most effective tool that exists to prevent future rapes. In the end, though, whether or not to report is your decision to make.

31. Why Report? • Reporting is a way to empower oneself and protect others from future harm. Sexual assault has often been labeled a silent crime since many victims feel they cannot speak out against what happened. There are a variety of reasons for this silence, which include but are not limited to: fear of not being believed, fear of being blamed, confusion about what constitutes sexual assault, having been harmed by someone they know or love, etc.

32. Why Report? • Sexual offenders who are not caught often go on to perpetrate more crimes: • Undetected rapists have an average of 5.8 victims. The 120 rapists in one study (Lisak, 2002) were responsible for “1,225 separate acts of interpersonal violence, including rape, battery, and child physical and sexual abuse” and were still walking the streets. • Sexual violence may not be limited to one victim or one occurrence. While victims go through so much with their own recovery after an assault, finding the courage to break the silence of their victimization may save others from the same harm.

33. Making the Decision to Report • Seek support from friends and/or family • Know your rights as a victim: find out victim rights in your state at the National Organization for Victim’s Assistance • Be as prepared as you can to tell your story: you will be asked about details, and so be prepared to talk about your assault • It helps to write down every detail you can remember, as soon as possible, so you can communicate the details to the police.

34. How Do I Report? • Call 911 (or ask a friend to call) to report your rape to police. • Or, visit a hospital emergency room or your own doctor and ask them to call the police for you. • It is recommended you report within the police district the assault occurredin or other appropriate agencies at your institution. If it is not possible to report under the jurisdiction it occurred in, please call or go to your local police station or Rape Crisis Center to see if they may able to help by taking the case or referring it on.

35. How Do I Report? • In most cases, the police will come to you and take a statement about what occurred. • In addition to taking a statement, police will collect physical evidence. • The police interview may take as long as several hours, depending on the circumstances of your case. Some questions will probably feel intrusive, and the officer will probably go over the details of your attack several times. The extensive questioning isn't because the police don't believe you; it is the officer's job to get every detail down precisely, to make the strongest possible case against your rapist.

36. How Do I Report? • Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner: • If you visit the ER and tell the nurse you have been raped, the hospital will generally perform a sexual assault forensic examination. This involves collecting evidence of the attack, such as hairs, fluids and fibers, and preserving the evidence for forensic analysis. In most areas, the local rape crisis center can provide someone to accompany you, if you wish. Call 1.800.656.HOPE to contact the center in your area.

37. Deciding Not to Report • You are not legally obligated to report. The decision is entirely yours, and everyone will understand if you decided not to pursue prosecution. • You should be aware that the district attorney's office retains the right to pursue prosecution whether or not you participate, though it is uncommon for them to proceed without the cooperation of the victim. There are also times when a third party, such as a doctor or teacher, is required to report to authorities if they suspect sexual abuse of a child, or an elderly or disabled person.

38. Deciding Not to Report • Many victims say that reporting is the last thing they want to do right after being attacked. That's perfectly understandable — reporting can seem invasive, time consuming and difficult. • Reporting is a very personal decision, and you should make the decision that's right for you. If you decide not to report, for whatever reason, that's perfectly understandable and there's no reason to feel bad about your decision. Shatter the silence of sexual violence! www.pavingtheway.net

39. Reporting Resources • National Hotline Number: 1.800.656.HOPE (4673) • Most local crisis centers have staff trained to help you through the reporting process. They can answer your questions and, if necessary, advocate on your behalf. To reach your local crisis center, call 1.800.656.HOPE (4673). • National Sexual Assault Online Hotline https://ohl.rainn.org/online/ • State Resources http://www.rainn.org/get-help/local-counseling-centers/state-sexual-assault-resources

40. Reporting on Campus • 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted during her time on campus • 95% of Campus Assaults go unreported • Of REPORTED Assaults: • Only 7% of assaults result in arrest • Less than 3% result in convictions • After a Sexual Assault, it is important to Know Your Rights and Know Your Options on Campus

41. Campus Sexual Assault Victims Rights • You have the right: • To be safe and free from a hostile environment • To be protected from sexual harassment and assault • To take legal action when a crime has been committed against you • To work and communicate with the police, campus officials and the prosecutor

42. Campus Sexual Assault Victims Rights • You Have the right: • To be notified of counseling and other support services on campus or locally • To make reasonable changes in academic and living situations • To have the same opportunity as the accused to have others present in any disciplinary proceedings • To be unconditionally notified of the final results of any institutional disciplinary proceeding • To have your name kept confidential

43. Campus Sexual Assault Victims Options • You have the option to: • Pursue campus disciplinary charges • Pursue criminal charges • Pursue both campus and criminal charges • Report the assault but choose not to pursue charges • Report anonymously • Do none of the above (You are still entitled to seek support)

44. Shattering the Silence 101 How to engage in the primary prevention of sexual violence in your community.

45. TALK ABOUT IT! • Speak UP • Speak OUT • Speak OFTEN • Parents • Talk to your kids about it • Make sure your kids health class covers sexual violence • Professionals • Make sure your school, nonprofit or company has sexual violence policies

46. Raise Awareness • Host awareness events & campaigns in your communities • Poster/ Public art campaigns • Put awareness posters in your dorm, high school, workplace or even your local bar • Social Media Campaigns • Post statistics and awareness messages on your facebook or twitter feed • Donate or volunteer with your local Coalition or Rape Crisis Center – get your friends or partner involved too!

47. Help A Survivor Studies show that the first person a survivor tells… If that person reacts well, it can greatly help the healing process! Review the SAAM Supporting a Survivor Webinar from April 11th or seek resources on the PAVE Website

48. Be an Active Bystander • Trust your Gut! If you think something is wrong, it probably is. • Speak up if you see someone intentionally getting someone drunk to coerce sexual consent • Say something when people are disrespectful • Remind friends that sexual contact with an intoxicated person is against the law • Watch for the warning signs of unhealthy relationships in your friends and family members • If you see something, Step IN!

49. SHARE RESOURCES! • If you are a professional in the field, share resources (like these slides) with anyone who you think would benefit from them! • Your local Rape Crisis Center • Your local middle school, high school or college • Local youth organizations like Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, YoungLife, club sports teams, church youth groups • Local nonprofits and shelters (YMCA/ YWCA, etc.) • Your statewide coalition against sexual assault and domestic violence • Community organizations, churches, etc.

50. A Mantra for the Movement! We support all survivors of violence, abuse, and trauma. We pledge to take care of our campus community, but also take care of ourselves. It is up to us to be the voice for those who have been silenced by sexual violence! It starts with us, it starts today. Together, we CAN make a difference.