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Parenting from a Distance Dr. Carl Ruby Vice President for Student Life. Parenting from a Distance. Upcoming events and times to v isit Changes to Anticipate Talking about Academics Staying connected Advice from a dad who cries during Hallmark commercials. Events and Visits.
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Parenting from a Distance Dr. Carl Ruby Vice President for Student Life
Parenting from a Distance • Upcoming events and times to visit • Changes to Anticipate • Talking about Academics • Staying connected • Advice from a dad who cries during Hallmark commercials
Events and Visits • Give them a few weeks to get settled. • Don’t worry about THE PHONE CALL. • Check the college calendar for events that interest you. • Fall Break – October 13-16, 2011 • Parents’ Weekend – November 4 & 5, 2011 • Lil’Sibs – February 10 & 11, 2012
Lets talk about change…. • Healthy families change. • College is a developmental crisis for both students and parents. • Help them find safe ways to prove that they are not you. • Expect change...anticipate the first visit home. • They will sleep for 20 hours straight….and then go see their friends! • Discuss/negotiate your expectations. • Maintain their bedroom as long as you can. • Enjoy the opportunity for you to change too.
Seven Areas Where College Students Change • Intellectual and Interpersonal Competence • Ability to Manage Emotions • Autonomy/Less Dependent on Parents • Clearer Sense of Who They Are • Stronger and Deeper Relationships • Clearer Vocational Direction • Deeper Moral Commitments
“So, how are your classes going?Talking about Academics • Eighty percent of freshmen are unsure of their major. • Over 50% will change their major. • Some will change their major several times. • “Ultimately, your major is your decision, but if you are going to change your major we would like to talk to you.” • Suggest things for them to consider. • Suggest that they talk to Career Services.
“So, how are your classes going?Talking about Academics • FERPA – Family Education Rights and Privacy Act • Families have a right to access to grade reports, transcripts, and disciplinary records. • Rights transfer to the student when he or she enrolls in a post secondary institution. • Freshman Forgiveness (Repeating Courses) • Parent Access
“So, how are your classes going?”Parent Access • Past Invoices • Financial Aid History • Incident History • Registration Information • Restrictions/Holds • Transcript • Dorm Sign In/Sign Out • Housing Assignment • Vaccination Status • Chapel Attendance • Chuck’s Information • Class Schedule • Current invoice
“So, how are your classes going?Talking about Academics • In advance, gently, let your student know that you expect to see and discuss grades at the end of the semester. • Don’t expect the same grades that your student got in high school…especially the first semester. (3.64 HS/3.1 First Sem.) • Set a “formative,” not a “summative” tone. (non-judgemental) • Don’t take good grades for granted. • Be more concerned about patterns than incidents. • Encourage them to talk to their professors early and often. • Make sure they take advantage of services available on campus.
“So, how are your classes going?Talking about Academics • The Cove – Academic Enrichment Office • Tutoring • The Writing Center • Reading Rate & Retention Course • $100, Office of Continuing Education • CU # 1 – Supportive Campus Environment
“Noel Levitz Student Satisfaction Inventory • National Ranking – 130,000 students 288 Universities • Commitment to academic excellence # 1 • Career services resources # 1 • Computer labs # 1 • Counseling resources # 3 • Campus staff are caring and helpful # 4 • Academic support services # 4 • Faculty are fair and unbiased # 4 • - Faculty available outside of class # 5 • - Residence life staff care about me # 5
General Advice from a Dad • “When problems arise move like your feet are stuck in molasses.” • Don’t ask them if they are homesick. • Don’t tell them that these are the best years of their lives. • “Don’t blame the university for your student’s behavior and we at the university will try to blame you for your student’s behavior.” • Think about your parting words…maybe even put them in writing.
General Advice from a Dad Your student hasn’t quit needing you…but from now on your son or daughter will begin to need you in a different way.