Mutual Respect

1. Mutual Respect HaimGinott – Sherri Jim Fay and David Funk – Tracy and Gyseka Thomas Gordon – Kristy Alfie Kohn - Erin

2. What is the degree of teacher control in establishing rules, norms, etc? • Minimal • Students and teachers establish norms, the rules are a democratic process. • Sets clear boundaries for behaviors while acknowledging and exploring their feelings. • Natural consequences

3. What is the degree of student control that is given regarding the establishment of rules, norms, etc…?

4. Is there concern for the student’s thoughts, feelings, etc.? • Yes, the goal is to encourage students to self manage. • Positive, positive, positive • Being non-judgmental, acceptance • Active and reflective listening

5. Theoretical Basis • Humanist basis • A central assumption of humanism, according to Huitt (2001), is that people act with intentionality and values.  • “In humanism, learning is student centered and personalized, and the educator’s role is that of a facilitator. Affective and cognitive needs are key, and the goal is to develop self-actualized people in a cooperative, supportive environment.” http://www.learning-theories.com/humanism.html#more-39 Huitt, W. (2001). Humanism and open education. Educational Psychology Interactive.

6. Children make decisions from an internal locus of control and not an external locus of control • Internal control – students learn self management in a supportive environment • Student take ownership of behavior • Students have a voice in how the class operates – setting rules, consequence etc…

7. What are the main points of their theory? • Punishment is not an effective way to train kids. • Discipline is teaching, guiding, and understanding the why of behaviors • Students can learn to be self reliant • Teachers should use active listening skills • I- messages when dealing with conflict • Focus is on behavior not on student’s sense of self • Rewards are given out carefully, focus is on genuine encouragement of specific behaviors

8. How should teachers approach students who misbehave according to the author? • With an open mind • With understanding • Offer choices • Actively listen • Calmly • I-messages • Give students a voice in their consequences

9. What should teachers be doing or not doing when students misbehave?

10. Scenarios Thomas Gordon You have students working in small groups on a project. You notice, after a while, that one of the students begins to talk in an angry way to another of his group members, stands up, and tosses papers aside. Using Thomas Gordon’s approach I would walk the student away from the group and tell him I noticed he became increasingly frustrated. Then I would ask how the group was doing in accomplishing the task. After I listened to him I would repeat back what I heard for clarification. At this point he might need to talk more to make his point clear. We would problem solve together to find solutions for him to work in the group. If the others in the group were part of the problem it might be wise for the whole class to revisit the class established norms for group work. This could be done before the next group work time. It would need to be timed like this so that emotions could cool down and students would have had time to process. These actions might be affected if the student’s ethnicity is one in which students are not allowed to share in decision making with adults. In an adult centered ethnic community the student might feel unable and unpracticed in voicing an open opinion. They also might feel intimated by authority and experience discomfort sharing their thoughts and feelings. More private ethnic communities might share these same outlooks as well. I think I would need to reassure the student that they are important. During the conversation I would try to make positive comments when possible and do my best to make the student feel supported. Also it is important for the student to recognize if they had a part to play in the breakdown of the group. If they were able to recognize their part then we could really work on that internal locus of control and teach him ways of resolving conflict in a healthy manner.

11. Answers to angry kid example: • Using my author’s theoretical approach (Love and Logic style classroom management) I would approach the angry student and say something like, “I noticed you seemed angry about something that happened in your group. Would you like to talk about it?” • If the angry student had a different cultural background than me I would need to consider whether the cultural differences were having an effect on how we were reacting to each other. I know that there are cultural differences that may cause some students to interpret things that I say differently, so I would try to be sensitive to such differences in my approach. • A teacher using the Love and Logic approach to classroom management would need to try to allow the student to have a voice in deciding what to do to mediate the problem he or she is having with their classmates. The teacher would need to wait until the student had taken some time to calm down, and then approach them, listen actively to their version of the conflict, then ask the student what they think should be done to handle the situation.

12. Sherri Florek • EDU 383A • Authors and their Theories • Author: HaimGinott • February 26, 2011 • Situation: Students are working in small groups. You notice, after a while, that one of the students begins to talk in an angry way to another of his group members, stands up, and tosses papers aside. • Using your author’s theoretical approach, how would you talk to or communicate with that student? • Using Ginott’s theory in this situation, I believe the teacher would use an “I” message and say “I hear talking in an angry voice that is disrupting the class, thank you to those students who are working together and cooperating.” With this approach the teacher would not respond to the papers being tossed aside, but would ignore it until he/she had a chance to deal with the student privately. • How might your actions be affected if the student were of a different ethnic group from you? • The teacher needs to have an understanding of the student’s cultural background. There may be different communication styles, boundaries, and methods of discipline in the home that can impact the classroom behavior, but there are still behaviors that need to be expected in the classroom for the safety of all students. • Based upon what you discovered from your author, what do you feel would need to be said to that student and what might you say? • When the teacher has the opportunity to talk to the student alone, he/she would model communication that would be appropriate to use in the situation and share skills that would help the student be able to make responsible choices in a small cooperative learning group. The teacher would give the student an equal amount of time communicating his/her thoughts and ideas for ways to make a positive change in the situation. • The teacher could say “I understand that there is something that is not working out in your group and it is making you angry. How might we be able to talk about it and come to an understanding? I expect everyone to be able to work together and be respectful to each other. I believe we can talk this out among the group members and come to an agreement of some expectations for the small group.” What do you think we can do to successfully work together and complete this assignment? “

13. Alfie Kohn • Using Alfie Kohn’s approach, I would take the students aside and to discuss what had happened in class. I would probably say something along the lines of “I noticed that you got angry over there, would you like to talk to me about what happened.” I would encourage discussion and try to come up with a solution, perhaps if the students were fighting, I would encourage them to talk to each other. I would encourage them to use “I” statements to express what is really bothering them and why. • It is important when handling a situation like this that I take into consideration the students Ethnic background. In some cases this may hinder the students ability to open up to an authority figure. He may not feel comfortable or even that it is right to discuss the issue with me and in that case I should not press the issue or force him to talk to me. Instead I may want to discuss what happened with the other students in the group and ask them to gather together to solve the issue or I may want to have a classroom discussion about group behaviors, norms and expectations (no names mentioned). • The best option would be to take the student aside for a private conference so as not to spot light him. It is very important not to undermine his views and ideas but to be supportive and encouraging. I need to be sensitive of the fact that this is happening to him and his view of it is different then my own. If he feels that I have listened and understand where he is coming from he may be open to the idea of working on building better relationships and communication with his fellow classmates. In some cases it may be necessary to call a second player into the private meeting, because there may have been a culprit as to why this boy had a melt-down.