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Writing Revisions

Writing Revisions. F451 Summer Reading Essay. Weak Hook. Strong Hook. Herman Melville professed that “It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” Chris McCandless perished in the Alaskan wilderness attempting to live a life rooted in Melville’s mantra.

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Writing Revisions

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  1. Writing Revisions F451 Summer Reading Essay

  2. Weak Hook Strong Hook Herman Melville professed that “It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” Chris McCandless perished in the Alaskan wilderness attempting to live a life rooted in Melville’s mantra. • Herman Melville once said, “It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” Chris McCandlesstraveled into the Alaskan wilderness with few possessions in search of himself. Does your paper begin with a hook?

  3. Weak Thesis Strong Thesis Chris McCandless, a reckless narcissist ,brought pain to his parents, his sister, and his friend, Wayne Westerberg. • Chris McCandless, a reckless narcissist, brought pain to those closest to him. Does your thesis statement contain a three-prong essay map?

  4. Vague Wording Strong Wording Chris McCandless’s decision to venture into the wilderness reveals a human’s desire to live a noble life. • This says something about a human’s need to live a very noble life. Does your paragraph contain vague wording?

  5. Vague Wording Strong Wording McCandless successfully evaded human intimacy, and therefore died alone in the Alaskan wilderness. • A lack of human intimacy is a major reason McCandless died alone in the Alaskan wilderness. Does your paragraph contain “to be” verbs?

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