Characteristics of Helpful, Non-threatening Feedback

1. Characteristics of Helpful, Non-threatening Feedback Psyc 4030

2. Behavior not the person. • Refer to what a person does • Not what you imagine he/she is. • Use adverbs (which relate to actions) • Not adjectives (which relate to qualities) • Say a person "talked considerably in this meeting," • Not this person "is a loudmouth.“

3. Observations not Inferences. • Observations refer to what you can see or hear in the behavior of another person, • Inferences refer to interpretations and conclusions which you make from what you see or hear. • Inferences contaminate your observations • When inferences or conclusions are shared, it is important that they be so identified. • Your hands are shaking vs. you were nervous.

4. Describe don’t Judge • The effort to describe represents a process for reporting what occurred, • Judgment refers to an evaluation in terms of good or bad, right or wrong, nice or not nice. • Judgments arise out of a personal frame of reference or value system, • Description represents neutral (as far as possible) reporting. • This is the third time you failed to complete your assignment on time • Not, you are lazy, or you are careless.

5. “More or Less" not “Either-or." • This terminology implies that the behavior falls on a continuum. • Stress quantity, which is objective and measurable vs. • Quality, which is subjective and judgmental • Low participation to high participation not "good" or "bad" participation. • Would you want to work on increasing your frequency of telling the truth • Would you like to stop being a liar?

6. Specific Situation, “Here and Now," not Abstract Behavior “There and Then." • Behavior is situation specific • Time and place increase understanding of behavior. • Feedback is most meaningful if you give it as soon as it is appropriate to do so. • Not Something you said last week has been bothering me. (This may be necessary for counselors) • Instead, What you just said bothers me.

7. Advise Tentatively with Alternatives • People should decide for themselves, in the light of their own goals in a particular situation at a particular time. • Save direct and specific advice for crisis situations • Not: You shouldchange jobs • Rather: Several possibilities you might considerare

8. Evaluate Alternatives • Ask what is the risk and what is the benefit of each option • Ask the client to choose which is the best for them? • Usually about 3 options is best. • Not, this is what you should do • Rather, which of these three is best for you right now?

9. Feedback Must Help the Client Not Relief for the Counselor • Serve the needs of the client not the needs of the counselor • Client should (almost) always retain the option to act on the feedback. • (Legal and clear moral issues are exceptions) • If this is something you are ready for here are some options to consider vs. • You really need to hear this.

10. Choose Your Dose Based on Client Capacity • Less is more, more is less • Avoid meeting your own need to dump.

11. Choose Your Moment & Place • Weigh the many possible reactions • Consider Privacy • Consider Overall Emotional Load • Avoid the end of the session

12. Avoid Guessing Motives • When you relate feedback to the what, how, when, where, of what is said, yourelate it to observable characteristics. • Avoid the “why” (motive) • You criticized her when she was crying • You wanted to hurt her

13. Summary Behavior not the person. Observations not Inferences Description not Judgment “More or Less" Behavior not “Either-or.“ Specific Situation, “Here and Now," not Abstract Behavior “There and Then." Give Advice Tentatively and with Alternatives Evaluate Alternatives Feedback Must Help the Client Not Relieve the Counselor Choose Your Dose Based on Client Capacity Choose Your Moment & Place Avoid Guessing Motives