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Choosing Your Pond Wisely: Navigating Relationships for Success

Learn to make great decisions by identifying key individuals in your life, from VIPs like your spouse and siblings to SIPs like short-term acquaintances. Find out who to trust, the red flags to watch out for, and the importance of loyalty and leadership. Understand the dynamics of relationships, mentors, and managers, and leverage your network effectively. Make informed choices about who to let in and keep around, prioritizing your own well-being. Discover the significance of each person's role in your life and create a supportive circle that aligns with your goals and values.

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Choosing Your Pond Wisely: Navigating Relationships for Success

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  1. Fishing Who’s in the Pond With You?

  2. VIP’s – Make great decisions! • Spouse • Friends • Siblings and parents • Co-workers – be careful • Employees • Neighbors • Priest, preacher, Rabbi, etc. – Religeous leader • In-Laws – be even MORE careful.

  3. SIP’s (Sort of Important)- Watch It. You don’t know yet. • Friends of friends • Short termers – people you haven’t known very long, yet have commonality • Re-entry people – you haven’t seen them in years. The “Brenda” people. • Kids’ friends’ parents – the commonality is probably short term; and you’ll know who isn’t. • Service providers – banker, accountant, etc.

  4. Red Flags • Takers – Is your cup getting filled? • They want something from you • Anyone who talks about you behind your back and doesn’t confront you • Who’s betrayed your trust? • The jealous crowd • Politics – everything’s on the table • People are judgemental; and they’re watching.

  5. The Importance of Loyalty • We’re not alone • We need allies • Who are yours? • Trust is earned • Respect is earned • Loyalty is timeless, especially with people who knew you before you were “somebody” • Smart people generally move up and succeed • You WILL need help someday. So will everyone else.

  6. Follow the Leader • Who’s by your side is critical. Who’s out in front is “life or death.” • Your people are and will always be your best and most important asset • Inclusion, positive feedback, and independence = loyalty. • Pushing, demanding, and expectations of respect = miserable work experience. (Matt C.) • Seek great leadership. Learn and emulate.

  7. Everyone has “Stuff” • Throwing problems into a pile in the middle of a room. • God doesn’t give you what you can’t handle. • Smart advice – ‘when you wonder what people think of you, remember…they don’t.’ • The best “you” is the right “you.” Anyone who wants you to be different isn’t worth swimming with. • Who wants to dunk or splash you? (Make you look bad) • Who wants to watch you show off with a swan dive? • Who wants to see you drown? • Beware. Someone wants what you have. • Is that food or bait?

  8. Mentors and Managers • Your best interest or their best interest? • Who might care? • Are you stuck or are you agile and mobile? • Who’s got your back? • Who do you trust? Who’s on your team? • What is your goal? Common or selfish? • Who might get in your way? Why? • Where do you want to go, and who’s willing to help you get there? Who might fight you?

  9. Your NetworkBelieve it or not, you don’t need all those people! • Friends • Family (I put them second for a reason – you need them for more than networking) • Customers • Co-Workers • Parents and their friends • Coaches • Teachers • Who was your biggest ally? Your best teacher? Who did you go to for help?

  10. Deciding Who and Accepting You • Everybody’s in your life for a reason, but that doesn’t mean they have to stay there. • You’re helping, accepting, or wasting time. • You’re allowed to waste time – however, know the limits. Some people are fun and don’t add anything. • Misery loves company. And people have a word quota. • Be okay with allowing people to leave your life • Know who you want to let in, and why! • You can learn from everybody, even if it’s “how not to.” • You cannot be all things to all people, and you can’t expect anyone else to be. • You will be let down. How will you handle it? • This is your life. It’s the only one you have, and it’s okay to put your needs first. Nobility has limitations.

  11. Life’s too Short • What does this person add to my life? • Convenience or usefullness? • Fulfillment or an energy sucker? • Needy or Needed? • Friend or foe? • Do you want your kids around this person? • Can I learn? Can I improve? Can I teach? Can I help? • Spiritual support or devil in disguise? • Addition or subtraction, and addition BY subtraction! Sometimes when someone exits, be grateful. Tim H.

  12. The Golf Analogy • Would spending 4 hours with you be time well spent? • Time is valuable – are you worth it? • Positive attitude or throwing clubs cursing at the world? • What do people see when they see you? Are you good to be in the pond with? • Are you better off in a boat; ON the pond and coming and going rather than in it? What’s your investment? • The 19th Hole – who’s buying and why? How long do you stay? • Would you play again? Would your partners?

  13. Application • In business, your attitude and charisma are critical • Your life dictates your state of mind, and people affect your life • Good people = confidence, grounding, and great presentation • Poor choices go away. Poor decisions last a long time. Don’t allow outside influences affect your best.

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