LONERS-LOVERS-LOSERS-LEAVERS & LIVERS!

1. LONERS-LOVERS-LOSERS-LEAVERS & LIVERS! Understanding & Correcting MISCONCEPTIONS & PURPOSES In Single Adult &Young Adult Ministry Dennis Franck, Director AG Single Adult/Young Adult Ministries

2. MYTHS CONCERNING SINGLENESS EXPLORING WHAT YOU THINK AND BELIEVE!

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK? • EVERYONE SHOULD GET MARRIED • SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU’RE NOT MARRIED • BEING/STAYING SINGLE GUARANTEES NOT BEING HURT AGAIN • SINGLE ADULTS HAVE FEWER PROBLEMS THAN MARRIED ADULTS

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK? • SINGLE ADULTS HAVE A LOT OF MONEY… • SINGLE ADULTS ARE LONELY… • SINGLE ADULTS ARE LOSERS-THEY SHOULD GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER • SINGLE ADULTS ARE LOOKING FOR A MARRIAGE PARTNER…

5. MISCONCEPTIONS OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRYRomans 14:16 Do not let what seems good to you be considered an evil thing… • LONELY HEARTS CLUB..…FOR “LONERS” • Are some people who are lonely • Are some who are not lonely • Jesus ministered to the lonely • So do the married classes! • You don’t need to be single to be lonely! • Everyone gets lonely at times

6. MISCONCEPTIONS OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY • DATING MARKET………FOR “LOVERS” • SAM has some people looking • “Welcome all you shoppers!” • Not the main purpose-STATE your purposes • Rather people look here than some other places… • Some people’s attitudes—“Help single people get married” • Not everyone looking

7. MISCONCEPTIONS OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY • HOSPITAL……………..…FOR ”LOSERS” • We have some hurting people • Socially, mentally, physically, spiritually unhealthy • So do the married classes • Jesus ministered to hurting people • Spiritual, Emotional, Relational, Physical healing • We’re all “losers” without Jesus! • Real issue… Pride? • We have some healthy people too

8. DIVERSE PERSONAL LEVELS • MANY ECONOMIC LEVELS… • Single parent below poverty level (about $19,700 with 2 kids) • Single adult making six-figure income • MANY SELF ESTEEM LEVELS… • Low self-esteem • Stay in apartment during social events • High self esteem- • Extremely outgoing/party animal

9. DIVERSE PERSONAL LEVELS • MANY EDUCATIONAL LEVELS… • High school drop out • B A degree • Masters degree • Doctorate degree • MANY SPIRITUAL LEVELS… • Total heathen • Totally committed to Jesus

10. MISCONCEPTIONS OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY • CHURCH………………FOR “LEAVERS” • SAM has some leavers--turnover • Think all needs can be met in a SAM! • Skip church & go to breakfast after class • So do the married classes • Everyone will leave the SAM--Now or eventually • Goal: To integrate them into the church!

11. INTEGRATION IS THE GOAL! • THE GOAL FOR MOST PEOPLE TO: • EVENTUALLY LEAVE THE MINISTRY • INVOLVE IN THE WHOLE LIFE OF THE CHURCH • TAKE CHURCH LEADERSHIP POSITIONS • MIX WITH OTHER TYPES OF PEOPLE • BECOME COMFORTABLE IN THE TOTAL LIFE OF THE CHURCH

12. THE CORRECT CONCEPTION OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY • PLACE OF/FOR MINISTRY….LIVERS • SAM has some livers! • A place to receive ! • A place to give! • A place to grow! • Spiritually Emotionally • Relationally Socially

13. CORRECT THE MISCONCEPTIONS • Purposes of the ministry • Where are they stated? • How often? • Are they known? • Image of the ministry and single adults • Loners-Singles are usually lonely… • Lovers-Singles are usually looking for someone… • Losers-Singles are usually hurting and needy… • Leavers-Singles are usually uncommitted… • Livers-Singles can be effective ministers! (Jesus was single)

14. Why People Come To find friends To grow personally To find a date/mate To receive support To get involved To find activities To minister To build self esteem To find direction Out of curiosity To escape loneliness Don’t know John 4:35-The fields are ready for the harvest!

15. Why People Leave They move They marry No one interests them Relationship break up Group too spiritual Not spiritual enough Ages-too old/young Not ok with singleness Have biases Group is unfriendly Involvement in other area of church John 4:35-The fields are ready for the harvest!

16. THE GOAL/MISSION OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY TO HELP SINGLE AND SINGLE-AGAIN ADULTS EXPERIENCE WHOLENESS… Col. 2:10- “You are complete in Him” • SPIRITUALLY-With the Lord • RELATIONALLY-With others • EMOTIONALLY-With themselves

17. THE PURPOSES OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY 1) Provide unconditional love and acceptance… • John 4:6-19 Woman at the well • John 8: 1-11 Woman (and man) caught in adultery • SAM CONTAINS EVERY PERSONAL ISSUE… • Emotional Relational • Spiritual Psychological • Physical Social

18. THE PURPOSES OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY 2) Provide ministry TO people… • Spiritually—Classes, Bible Studies, Discussions Retreats, Small group experiences, Prayer experiences • Educationally—Workshops, seminars on topics relevant to their needs • Socially—Creative, fun activities and events • Relationally-Opportunities for building healthy relationships with the same and opposite sex

19. THE CHURCH MUST PROVIDE BIBLICAL TEACHING FOR THE ISSUES SINGLE ADULTS FACE! • RELATING TO MY SPOUSE DURING SEPARATION • RELATING TO MARRIED ADULTS AS A SINGLE ADULT • ADJUSTING TO WIDOWHOOD • PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE • BLENDING FAMILIES IN MARRIAGE • WHERE ELSE WILL THEY RECEIVE IT?

20. THE CHURCH MUST PROVIDE BIBLICAL TEACHING FOR THE ISSUES SINGLE ADULTS FACE! • CONTENTMENT AS A SINGLE ADULT • RAISING CHILDREN AS A SINGLE PARENT • DIVORCE RECOVERY • MANAGING MY SEXUALITY • DATING/DATING AGAIN

21. WHERE ARE THESE BEING ADDRESSED IN THE CHURCH TODAY? Sunday am service? Sunday pm service? Sunday adult classes? Mid-week adult classes? Any other time? Where else will they receive a biblical understanding & perspective?

22. THE PURPOSES OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY 3) Provide ministry FOR people… • Opportunities for involvement • They need to own the ministry! • They will support what they help to create! • Opportunities to grow personally • People grow twice as fast when involved • People come for some time because they know someone or have a job to do • Opportunities to grow spiritually • Involvement fosters new people, challenges, situations, ideas etc.

23. CONSIDER THESE COMMENTS… “Every group in the church has unique needs and gifts...children, youth, men, women, marrieds etc. Because we have put emphasis on these groups for so long, we have inadvertently forgotten the singles and have led them to believe we don't expect them to be involved in ministry. The apostle Paul said that for ministry it is better to be single! (I Cor.7: 25-35) The purpose of ministry to singles is to help them see they ARE the church and to help them come to a place of ministry.”  -David Reddout, Pastor, First Assembly of God--Leesville, LA-Adult Ministries Consultant, Assemblies of God Sunday School Department--1981-1985  

24. THE PURPOSES OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY 4) Provide opportunities to meet Jesus through… TEACHING DISCUSSION WORSHIP FRIENDSHIPS ACTIVITIES SMALL GROUPS RETREATS CONFERENCES PRAYER OTHER EVENTS

25. THE PURPOSES OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY 5) Provide opportunities to meet other single adults • There are others like me! • Same interests, desires, struggles, hopes etc. • Opportunities to lift others • Opportunities to lean on others

26. THE CORRECT CONCEPTION OF A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY • PLACE OF/FOR MINISTRY….LIVERS • SAM has some livers! • A place to receive ! • A place to give! • A place to grow! • Spiritually Emotionally • Relationally Socially