The Restorative Jigsaw Putting it all together

1. The Restorative Jigsaw Putting it all together David Wasilewski and Liz Eddington 2.3.10

2. Aims of session • To introduce the Restorative Jigsaw • To look at ways of embedding restorative approaches in our schools • To consider how Restorative approaches might be used at an individual, group and whole school level • To practise some relevant skills.

3. The jigsaw

4. Listening From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

5. A listening school • Using the Restorative questions • How could they be used with individuals • Classes (circle time, day to day interactions, class process reflection) • Year groups (eg whole school debrief after traumatic incident) • How do you use RA questions in other ways than in 1:1 conferencing

6. Listening school – individual skills • Reframing • Let me check that I have got this right • Are you saying….? • Is the other person ready to listen to a different perspective? If so • Can I tell you what I think might be going on from my perspective? • Practical exercise – having a go.

7. BLAME ? ? INSULTS ABUSE ACCUSATIONS EXAGGERATION From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

8. CLARITY EMOTIONS SUMMARY NEUTRAL DESCRIPTION From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

9. Restorative approaches to challenging situations From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

10. Belonging and connectedness – inclusive skills and strategies From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

11. Belonging When adolescents feel cared for by people at their school and feel part of their school, they are less likely to use substance, engage in violence, or initiate sexual activity at an early age. Students who feel connected to school in this way also report higher levels of emotional well being McNeely, Nonnemaker and Blum2002

12. Building community From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

13. Mediation for/by all ages From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

14. An ethos of care and justice From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

15. An ethos of care and justice In groups discuss in what ways your school promotes an ethos of care and discipline

16. Traditional discipline/justice May be removed in time and place from the offence Set penalties May not address victims needs May be perceived as unfair by harmer May lead to the harmer being excluded Restorative Approach Within immediate community Actions are negotiated Listens to needs of victim Listens to the harmer Re-engages the harmer in the community Emphasizes sense of belonging An ethos of care and justice

17. An ethos of care and justice • Teasing out the story • Can you tell me more • Would you like to say a bit more • Can you be a bit more specific • And then • And before that • And after that • And what was the worst thing for you • Repeating the last phrase • Silence • Activity

18. How retributive or restorative are you?

19. Group discussion What can we do to help people move from retributive to restorative?

20. Relationship management policy From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

21. Emotional literacy From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

22. Emotional Literacy • Emotional Quotient vs Intelligence Quotient • SEAL • Anger is a secondary emotion • Cultural and personal issues re strong emotion • Exercise – the Anger Onion

23. The 'Anger Onion' with its layers of underlying emotions

24. Happy playgrounds From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

25. Restorative approaches to challenging situations From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

26. Mentoring From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

27. Why teach Conflict Resolution Skills? • To develop social skills in dealing with conflict in a more positive way • to create a calm, cooperative classroom atmosphere • to affirm pupils and raise their self esteem • to give pupils alternatives to disruption and violence • to create understanding and awareness of others • to give pupils ownership of their resolution of disputes • to enhance learning through creating a safer, more positive environment.

28. 0He won’t give me the ball 1 We both want the ball but I’m out to get it 2 We both want the ball but I need to persuade him to give it to me. Perhaps I can do something in exchange 3 We both want the ball – perhaps we can work out together how both of us can have some of what we want I’ll grab it I’ll make him give it to me (I might have to threaten or hit him) I’ll suggest I have it for a while, then he can have it. Maybe I’ll swap something for it We can play together or decide who needs it most at the moment. Developmental stages of conflict resolution

29. Popular but ineffective responses to conflict: • Conquest • Avoidance • Bargaining • Elastoplast • Role playing

30. Pupils who are not trained are more likely to: use force withdraw from conflicts Pupils who are trained are more likely to face conflicts use problem solving to negotiate solutions be more positive about school Research shows

31. 5 step programme • Introduction and ground rules (no blame) • Hear the problems and feelings • Acknowledgement and empathy • Suggestions and Choices • Negotiation and Agreement

32. I messages • Always start with ‘I’ not ‘you’ • Clearly and simply say HOW you feel • E.g ‘I feel angry’ • Clearly and simply say ‘WHAT’ the other person did to make you feel that way • Eg ‘I angry…. When you…’ • Clearly and simply say WHY you fell the way you do • Eg ‘I angry…when you….because’ • Clearly and simply say WHAT you want the other person to do • Eg I want you to …. • I’m angry when you call my Mum a …. because it’s not true and you don’t even know my Mum. I want you to agree to stop calling my Mum.

33. What I want, why I want it • Say ‘I want’ • Say why • Say how you are feeling • Make a suggestion • Agree to what to do so it is fair (win/win) • Moving from ‘I’ to ‘we’

34. ? From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

35. An ethos of care and justice Belonging and connectedness – inclusive skills and strategies A listening school Circles to build community and/or solve problems Relationship management policy Mediation for/by all ages Emotional literacy Restorative approaches to challenging situations ? School Council Happy playgrounds Peer mentoring From Belinda Hopkins ‘Just Schools’ 2004

36. Putting the Jigsaw together • Blank jigsaw • What is going on in your school • Are there any blanks that you might be able to help the school to fill in • How and when • SMART

37. Discussion • Can RA offer a framework for all our work with children? • Are there things that would not sit well within this approach • To what extent have you always been restorative? • Where do you encounter opposition to these views?