Presenting The Holly-Dazed Singers

1. PresentingThe Holly-Dazed Singers We have prepared some special PlantAmnesty holiday songs for you. You will surely recognize the tunes, but the lyrics may be new. We will project the words. For songs with choruses, please join in if you like.

2. The PlantAmnesty Song (The Wassail Song)Lyrics by Annette Freeman Here we come a-pruningAmong the trees so green,N’ere we go a topping,A practice that’s obscene.PlantAmnesty comes to you,To save your arbor too.We will show you, and teach youTo grow a happy tree,And we’ll show you how to grow a happy tree.

3. We aren’t your politiciansWho doorbell for support.We do provide referralsWe’re happy to report.Arborists work for you,Gardeners and teachers too.We will guide you and help youGrow healthy shrubs and trees.We help you grow healthy shrubs and trees.

4. Good people in this audience,We’re glad you’re here tonight. We thank you for the help you give To carry on the fight. Help us stop what people do When they shear without a clue, And to make their yards and gardensSo easy to maintain,And to make their gardens easy to maintain.

5. We’ve brought out all these tablesSo we can all cavort!We want to celebrate you And thank you for support. Love and joy come to you,And to you your wassail too.We all thank you, and send youA Happy New Year,And we send you a Happy New Year.

7. Let It Grow, Let It Grow, Let It Grow(Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow)Lyrics by Keith Dekker My client is fond of topping, And she shows no sign of stopping. As her gardener I tell her No! Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow.

8. She has a gorgeous Doug fir But you know, the height does bug her. As her gardener I tell her No! Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow. As tree-huggers we do teach, The secrets of pruning we share. And if sometimes we tend to preach It’s only because we care!

9. Of shrubs her yard has oodles, But they all look more like poodles. They're next on the list I know. Let ‘em grow, let ‘em grow, let ‘em grow! Let ‘em grow, let ‘em grow, let ‘em grow!

11. Away in the Back Yard(Away in a Manger)Lyrics by Jack Bautsch Away in the back yard The bindweed does thrive. It twines around flora Both dead and alive. It pays no attention When ordered to stop, And strangles its victims From bottom to top.

12. I don’t like you bindweed, I find you a pest. If I had my druthers, I’d lay you to rest. I’ve tried many tactics With your end in mind, And just when I’m hopeful A new root I find!

13. Please help me, Sweet Jesus, I’m wracked with despair. Not matter my efforts, The bindweed’s still there! I need you, Dear Jesus, Send down from the sky Good bugs who will eat it When bindweed is nigh.

15. Tree Toppers in the Sky(Ghost Riders in the Sky)Lyrics by John Hushagen An old fir man went hookin’ up a maple stem one day, This tree he’d topped 10 years before, now riddled with decay. When all at once a weary gang of red-eyed men he saw, Climbin’ through the broken limbs, and trying not to fall.

16. Chorus Yippee-Yi-Ay. . . Yippee-Yi-Oh, Tree Toppers in the Sky.

17. Their saws were spouting fire and their hooks were made of steel, Their tin hats were all grimy and their beer breath made him reel. A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through the sky, For he saw the toppers breathin’ hard, and he heard their mournful cry.

18. Chorus Yippee-Yi-Ay. . . Yippee-Yi-Oh Tree Toppers in the Sky.

19. The man sat down and shook his head and lit his first that day, • The day before he’d sent his check and joined the ISA. • “Topper, change your ways,”they cried, “or with us you will ride.” • “Tryin’ to make a livin’, when you’re not certified!”

20. Chorus Yippee-Yi-Ay. . . Yippee-Yi-Oh, Tree Toppers in the Sky. Yippee-Yi-Ay. . . Yippee-Yi-Oh Tree Toppers in the Sky.

21. That’s it for now! Stay tuned for more later.

23. Oh Water Sprouts(Oh Christmas Tree)Lyrics by Jack Bautsch Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts I see you in my future. Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts I know you’re in my future. I thinned too much And now I’m screwed. I put it back . . . It came unglued! Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts I see you in my future.

24. Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts You hydra-headed monster! Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts You hydra-headed monster! I’d cut you off, but in your place, Five more will grow to fill the space. Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts You hydra-headed monster!

25. Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts I think you are quite ugly. Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts To me you are quite ugly. But Cass says, “Wait! as years go on The Ugly Duck becomes a Swan.” Oh water sprouts, oh water sprouts You came to teach me patience.

27. Crazy Blower Boy(Little Drummer Boy)Lyrics by Jack Bautsch “Blow” they told me, va-room voomvoomvoom “Blow all the leaves away.” va-room voomvoomvoom I strapped my blower on, va-room voomvoomvoom And strode across the lawn. va-room voomvoomvoom, voomvoomvoomvoom, voomvoomvoomvoom Saw the flowers quake, va-room voomvoomvoom Fearing their doom.

28. Cranked the engine, va-room voomvoomvoom Watched all the birds take flight, va-room voomvoomvoom Woke up the neighborhood, va-room voomvoomvoom They think that I’m no good va-room voomvoomvoom, voomvoomvoomvoom, voomvoomvoomvoom They don’t understand va-room voomvoomvoom How we groom. Don’t need a broom. Just give me some room.

30. Rhodie, Rhodie, Rhodie (Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel)Lyrics by Kristin Schultz Oh rhodie, rhodie, rhodie You started as a sprig. But now my little rhodie Has gotten way too big!

31. I had a little rhodie I bought it in a pot. When it got to three feet, Stop growing it did not! Planted by the window, And now I’ve lost my view. I’ll thin out all the deadwood And crossing branches too.

32. Chorus Oh rhodie, rhodie, rhodie You started as a sprig. But now my little rhodie Has gotten way too big!

33. I’m starting to get worried It’s almost 10 feet tall. I’ll prune the lower branches And arborize it all. And now it’s two years later, I might just lose my mind. It’s over in the neighbor’s yard And in the power lines!

34. Chorus Oh rhodie, rhodie, rhodie You started as a sprig. But now my little rhodie Has gotten way too big!

35. Things are getting desperate, My husband’s getting raw. He says it’s him or rhodie, And starts up the chainsaw! I close my eyes and listen As branches fall and crack. Radical renovation Has kept our marriage intact.

36. Chorus (Sing Two Times) Oh rhodie, rhodie, rhodie You started as a sprig. But now my little rhodie Has gotten way too big!

38. Silent Moss(Silent Night)Lyrics by Jack Bautsch Silent moss, lowly moss It’s quite clear, you’re the boss. Growing at will wherever there’s shade In our climate you’ve got it made Spreading roots in each bed-- Seeing that fills me with dread!

39. Silent moss, lowly moss Stopping you? I’m at a loss. From the beds you move to the grass Frankly I find you a pain in the neck. Creeping into the lawn— Oh how I wish you were gone!

40. Silent moss, lowly moss In the ring my towel I toss. Yearly liming of all of my soil-- Too much time and too much toil! Have to learn to love moss Guess I will learn to love moss.

41. Silent moss, lowly moss I’m no longer so darn cross. I’d adopted a Japanese view In their gardens they really love you. You’ve expanded my ken-- Moss makes me feel so Zen.

42. Thank you for coming Happy Holidays from PlantAmnesty and The Holly-Dazed Singers

44. Dashing to the Aid(Jingle Bells)Lyrics by Jack Bautsch Learning the Chorus Dead, diseased, dangling-down Damaged and deranged

45. Dashing to the aid Of a great big bush or tree, There are simple rules To store in memory. Keep them in your mind To help you do things right. To put them in your memory bank Repeat this every night:

46. Chorus Oh dead, diseased, dangling-down, Damaged and deranged— When it’s time to prune a tree, Such branches are fair game. Dead, diseased, dangling-down, Damaged and deranged— With your sharpened secateurs On these limbs take first aim.

47. Your weeping maple tree With branches hanging down Is so thick and dense Your can’t see through its crown. You lie flat on your back As pruners often do, And as you wonder where to start This song comes back to you.

48. Chorus Oh dead, diseased, dangling-down, Damaged and deranged— When it’s time to prune a tree, Such branches are fair game. Dead, diseased, dangling-down, Damaged and deranged— With your sharpened secateurs On these limbs take first aim.

49. Your pieris is too big It’s way too wide and tall. You decide it’s best To arborize it all. You review your notes So you don’t do things wrong. Then all at once the words come back To this instructive song.

50. Chorus Oh dead, diseased, dangling-down, Damaged and deranged— When it’s time to prune a tree, Such branches are fair game. Dead, diseased, dangling-down, Damaged and deranged— With your sharpened secateurs On these limbs take first aim.