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Ch. 10 Managing Relationship Challenges. Violating expectations -- “ Failure events ” --how to respond? ( reproach or no?) -- Account ? (responses) --can you forgive? Long distance relationships. “Outside the Norm” Relationships (including interracial, cross cultural, homosexual, etc.).
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Ch. 10 Managing Relationship Challenges • Violating expectations -- “Failure events” --how to respond? (reproach or no?) --Account? (responses) --can you forgive? • Long distance relationships
“Outside the Norm” Relationships(including interracial, cross cultural, homosexual, etc.)
Signs of Relationship Problems • What are some signs a Relationship is “on the rocks”? • Gottman’s “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” • Criticisms • Contempt • Defensive behaviors • Stonewalling
How do we end a relationship? • Bilateral vs. unilateral dissolutions • Fade away? • Sudden death? • Incrementalism? (p. 301) Direct vs. Indirect Termination Strategies (p.304)
Steve Duck’s Model (another model for breakups!) • Intrapsychic Phase (thinking; “Am I better with/without him?”) • Dyadic (confront other) • Social phase (telling others, public status change) (Facebook update?) • Grave dressing making sense/rationalizing the relationship: “This was a college fling”); moving on!
Deception • Deception by OMISSION (concealment) • Half-truths • Neglecting to pass on important info • Deception by COMMISSION (deliberate/lying) • White lies • Exaggeration • Baldfaced lie
Other Problems • Jealousy • Threat of loss • “flirtation façade” • Obsessive Relational Intrusion (ORI) • Stalking (pp. 295-296)
Relational Violence Intimate terrorism Violent resistance (fighting back) Situational couple violence (p. 297)
Graph Source: http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/crime/infographic-more-us-women-killed-husbands-and-boyfriends-military-combat