Career Resilience: How Women Can Ensure their Continuing Professional Growth

1. Career Resilience: How Women Can Ensure their Continuing Professional Growth 6/25/13 Janet Bickel Career and Leadership Development Coach

2. Women's Potential Career Disadvantages *Definition of success includes “wholeness” and meeting family responsibilities *Less likely to be effectively mentored or sponsored or tapped for leadership roles *Norms of competition and recognition sustain men more than women *“Personal Glass Ceiling” ie internalize responsibility for cultural restrictions * “Only in a woman would success be seen as a barrier to giving advice.”--Gloria Steinem speaking of Sheryl Sandberg

3. Career Development Competencies • know what (clinical and scientific expertise) • know why you are doing what you’re doing (goals, values) • know whom (maintain key relationships) • knowhow (communication skills, political savvy) • know when (adaptable, take smart risks)

4. Continuum of Involvement teach shares knowledge support offers advice and direction intervention protects mentee and assists access to resources sponsorship sponsors the mentee for otherwise unavailable opportunities

5. Buzz group: What benefits are you experiencing from serving as a mentor (or do you expect to)?

6. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs 5. Actualization 4. Esteem 3. Belonging 2. Safety 1. Physiological

7. Support/Challenge/Vision VISION high CHA L L E N G E Growth Anxiety Stasis Confirmation SUPPORT high low Source: Bower, D., et al., Support-Challenge-Vision: A Model forFaculty Mentoring, Medical Teaching, 20:595-7, 1998.

8. In Pairs What is your experience in finding or giving an optimal balance of support and challenge in mentoring relationships?

9. Disadvantages Women and Minorities Experience more than Majority Men *relationships occur most naturally between “like” individuals *face higher hurdles to prove selves to potential mentors *“surplus visibility” yet often feel invisible *the accents of some ethnic minorities interfere with communication *allowed a narrower band of assertive behavior

10. She’s conceited She’s cold She’s bossy She’s picky She’s unsure She doesn’t know when to quit She’s a control freak They’re chitchatting They’re catfighting He’s confident He’s analytic He’s authoritative He’s good at details He’s open He follows through He’s passionate They’re networking They’re debating

11. Nine Circles of Mentee Hell underestimate of potential failure to respect protégé’s goals failure to promote independence inappropriate praise or criticism exploitation conflicts avoided expecting protégé To defer physical intimacy (or appearance of) desertion/ inaccessabiliy

12. “Difficult Conversations” for Mentors The resident showed up 15 minutes late with a Starbucks cup in hand! I never would’ve talked to my mentor that way—what’s happened to respect for authority? Her first question was “do you know what counts as a vacation day?” * The way she dresses is so inappropriate. I've given her a lot of attention, but she doesn't seem to recognize it as mentoring!

13. Feels “Undiscussable” to Mentees I don’t see my mentor as a role model--all she does is work. She believes that unless I’m willing to be just as focused as she was, I’ll not succeed. My division chief is from a culture where women are expected to obey the men. Sometimes he like ‘commands’ me to do something-- it makes me want to scream. Sometimes I don’t understand what my mentor is saying. But I am afraid I will look stupid if I ask for an explanation. Source: Bickel J, Rosenthal SL. Difficult issues in mentoring: Recommendations on making the “undiscussable” discussable. Acad Med. 2011; 86:1229-34.

14. In Pairs What “undiscussables” have arisen for you in mentoring relationships?

15. Relational Communication Skills • Self-monitoring --Surface your assumptions --Notice when you’re over-reacting and ask yourself “what hooked me?” * Inquiry and Listening • Ask questions that encourage the other to go deeper • Listen with curiosity • Advocacy • Explain your reasoning and intent [eg “This is why I’m raising this and how I arrived at this conclusion”]

16. Good Coaching Questions *How will you develop the necessary expertise? *Tell me more about your understanding of this choice/dilemma/situation. *What would you advise someone with this dilemma to do? *What was the lesson? How can you lock in the learning? *What concerns you the most about…? *Where are you being too hard [or easy] on yourself? *What are your back-up plans?

17. Exploratory Questions for Mentees Looking at last year: What are you proudest of? And what would have done differently? What do you want to accomplish in the next 1-2 yrs? 5-10 yrs? What measures of success will you use? What relationships outside our discipline and institution do you want to build? What if anything is holding you back from reaching your potential? What areas of personal and professional growth do you most want to work on now?

18. Generative Listening • What could make that possible? • What could that allow us to do? • What goals could that idea advance? • What do you see that I don’t? • Say more Automatic Listening • Right/Wrong • Win/Lose • Agree/Disagree • Good/Bad • Either/Or

19. Highly Effective Mentors/Coaches Identify “coachable moments” Create safety Discuss expectations for the relationship Give specific, constructive, timely feedback Support transitions Respect confidentiality Ask for feedback and continuously improve coaching skills

20. Ask trustworthy colleagues for feedback *In what areas do I tend to over- or under-function? • Any observations on how well I listen? • Do I present ideas in an effective manner and invite discussion? • How well do I handle challenges to my ideas? *Do I communicate about problems in ways that facilitate engagement? *Do I relate better to some kinds of people than others? See: What got you here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith

21. Keep Expanding Your Circle of Colleagues Content Experts Mentors, Coaches Informal Advisors Potential Collaborators, Learning Partners

22. In TriosUse this opportunity to articulate a goal or skill area that you want to get better at (eg having a difficult conversation with a mentor or mentee that you've been postponing).--Do you need support or advice on this? If so, what might serve?--What's getting in your way?