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Lesson 9 Day 2 : Active Listening and I - Messages. Drill Write a list of things you can say to a person who is talking to you so that they KNOW you are listening, but not interrupting. OBJECTIVES:.
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Lesson 9 Day 2: Active Listening and I - Messages Drill • Write a list of things you can say to a person who is talking to you so that they KNOW you are listening, but not interrupting.
OBJECTIVES: • Practice listening skills, facilitate responses and I messages to improve communication skills, and thereby reduce conflicts in school and in the community.
Do you need someone to listen? I finally got the job I applied for after three interviews. I was so excited when I got the call from the company telling me when I could start. I wanted to share my excitement with someone who would be proud of me and congratulate me. I called my husband, he was at work in a meeting and unavailable. I called my daughter. She was too busy with one of the children to talk. I called my best friend. She was not home and could not be reached. There was no one for me to talk to. I felt frustrated.
Discussion: • How hard is it to listen? • How do you feel when you are not listened to? • How different is it when someone really listens? • How often do you find that people really listen to you? • How often do you really listen to others? • Do you know any really good listeners? • Tell a partner about a situation when you really needed someone to listen to you.
Facilitative Responses: • “What you need to do is…” • “The problem with you is…” • “Everything is going to be all right…” • “How do you feel about…” • “If I hear you correctly, you are saying…” • “You seem to be feeling…” • Which of these would be most helpful?
When to give advice and when to listen… • Often we give advice even though the person doesn’t want it. • Sometimes, we just want someone to listen to us. • Sometimes we tell people who are having problems that everything will be all right, even if that is not likely the case.
What can you do? • Use open questions - tell me more about… - how did that happen… - what are you going to do now…. 2) Clarify or summarize - let me get this straight… - So what you’re saying is… 3) That sounds…. (great, wonderful, terrible)…
Group Activity – Round 1 • Divide into groups of 3 • Each group gets 3 index cards (labeled S, L, and O) S – speaker L – listener O – observer • Speaker will talk about something that interests him or her. (weekend, movie, friends) • Listener will be a bad listener (give advice, tell the speaker what’s wrong with them, interrupt, or turn away) • Observer will record what they see and hear – then report to the class. • The speaker will report how it felt not being listened to.
Group Activity – Round 2 • Exchange index cards so that everyone has a different role. • This time… • Speaker talks about something that interests them • Listener will be effective (looking at speaker, not interrupt, use open questions, clarify and summarize, reflect the feelings of the speaker) • Observer will record what they see and hear – then report to the class
Ticket Out The Door • What did you learn from today’s activities? • Do you think you’re an effective listener? Explain why or why not. • Do you have someone who listens to you? - If so, who is it? What makes them a good listener? - If not, who will you turn to the next time you need to talk? Write a plan for finding someone who will listen.