Performance Orientation

1. Performance Orientation We don’t perform to be loved. We perform because we are loved.

2. Definition • Performance Orientation = • Seeking to receive and give acceptance, value, worth, affirmation primarily based on what we do, or how we perform, rather than on who we are and who we were created to become. Our creator and redeemer is the only one who is perfectly qualified to tell us our worth. • Not a comment on the importance of living up to God’s standard for us… “God loves us just the way we are, but he loves us too much to leave us the way we are!” – John Arnott • Does not negate the importance of “whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your heart as onto the Lord.” – the value of excellence over perfectionism. • Judgement seat of Christ – rewards

3. What we’ve been taught… • Doing a good job = reward / love • Doing a bad job = rejection / disapproval • From our earliest days… • By our parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, culture… • The entire human race • All Religions of the World

4. The Law • The Law … good works • 3 purposes for the Moral Law • Reflect nature of God • Example for us to follow, and • Serve as a school teacher to lead us to Christ • Even Jesus! • Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the Pharisees you don’t make it to heaven • Internalising the law from actions to the heart: • Hate = Murder; Lust = Adultery

5. Did Jesus perform to be loved? • At his Baptism – Mark 1:9-11 • In those days Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. Immediately coming up out of the water, He saw the heavens opening, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon Him; and a voice came out of the heavens: “You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased.” • Jesus went alone to pray frequently • He was only in ministry for 3 years! • He was the perfect example of what it meant to be loved by the Father as a human

6. What the Lord told Carol… • “I have many servants but few lovers” • He is looking for lovers • The Great Commandment before the Great Commission (Mt 22:37) • Jesus is looking for a beautiful and passionate Bride, full of love for him • Mary versus Martha – Luke 10: 38-42 • We produce after our own kind – universal law

7. What motivates our performance? • It is usually out of fear of man – • Of rejection • Of not belonging • Of not measuring up • We feel the need to be loved, for affirmation without feeling, super- knowing, having received, living in the unconditional love (agape) and affection (phileo) of Abba • Like poor people who can be materialistic, PO is an issue for those who are not “successful”

8. The Love of Christ • Eph 3:14-19 - For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith — that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. • Paul was praying: strength –> Christ in heart -> rooted in love -> know the Love of Christ -> filled with fullness of God

9. The Love of Christ • Rom 8:35-39 - Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. • We are more than conquerors because of a PERSON WHO LOVES US

10. The Love of the Father • I John 3:1 ff: See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. • Our motive for purity is that we are God’s children because of his love for us

11. It’s an issue of motivation • Not about non-performance versus performance – excellence • It’s about attitude or motivation not behaviour; we can be doing and saying all the right things but with the wrong heart motivation • Man looks on the outward appearance, God looks at the motives of the heart

12. Attributes of PO’d people • P People pleasing – tend toward perfectionism • E Efforts based on drive to succeed at any cost - DRIVEN • R Receives criticism poorly – craves compliments /affirmation • F Feels lonely and/or insecure in relationships • O Overly defensive • R Responsible for everything – always overly busy – STRIVING • M Ministering but never able to ministry • A Angry quite easily and tired all the time • N Needs to blame others – victim mentality • C Controlling of people and situations • E Emotionally suppressed – difficult to get to know

13. Prayer Ministry • I have great worth apart from my performance, because Christ gave his life for me, and therefore imparted great value to me. I am deeply loved, fully pleasing, totally forgiven, accepted and complete in Christ. • Father, I choose now to forgive_________ for what was taught to my heart in terms of having to produce, and that if I was unable to meet that expectation I was considered to be a failure. • I speak out the truth. I am not a failure. I am loved. I will walk in that belief. • I forgive you _________ for what you taught my heart to believe. Father, please surround _________ with your mercy and grace and teach them of your love as well.