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You, Your Spouse and Your Career Have you considered the consequences and repercussions on your relationships when you get that new promotion or take on that special project? Often times you are surprised as to how your spouse or significant other reacts to your new claim to fame. This workshop is designed to identify and offer solutions to some of the problems which arise with relationships when navigating through your career path.
What we are going to discuss is the pitfalls of success. The images few of you are aware of…..Like these
MORE MONEY…SAME PROBLEM Money solves some problems but creates a whole new set of problems and sometimes it doesn’t solve anything….for instance……If you make $2,000.00 a month and it is spent: You have $50.00 available for discretionary spending which isn’t enough to get you through the month…You need more money
MORE MONEY…SAME PROBLEM You get that promotion. That promotion raises your salary to $2,500.00 per month. You have $50.00 available for discretionary spending which isn’t enough to get you through the month…You need more money
SOME OF YOU CAN’T HANDLE SUCCESS • Your new title goes to your head • Self confidence turns into arrogance • Self Esteem turns into I-it is • You start believing your own press • You began to think certain people are beneath you • You start judging your co-workers and others by their title • and/or grade • You began to think your way is the only way • You start bragging about the name brand merchandise you • purchase • It’s your privilege to know me attitude
SOME OF YOU CAN’T HANDLE SUCCESS • Trying to talk over peoples heads • Using terms you learned in “Muckety Muck” training • Acronyms you learned on the job • Using those catch phrases • You didn’t know what these terms or phrases meant when you heard them. • But now you turn around and use them on someone else and call them stupid when they don’t understand what you are saying or their meaning.
WHEN SUCCESS HANDLES YOU • You start working longer hours • You start tobring work home • Your cell phones becomes your new best friend • You sleep less • Tired more often • You travel more Do you think your family is feeling a bit neglected at this point? You betcha!!! • Then you add: • Less patience • More stress • And let’s face it, one of the reasons you are feeling more stress is because you have started living off that extra $500.00 your promotion brought you. Gotta keep up!!!!
So let’s review what your new found success could bring you • No more discretionary spending money • More bills • A horrible boss • More stress • Less sleep • A new friend…..your cell phone • Resentment from your family due to neglect • These are just a few things that you could bring on yourself….We have yet to discuss those issues that are inherently gender specific. • Nor have we talked about how family members, friends, co-worker could react to your new found success.
THE MAN’s DILEMMA • Power and Prestige attracts women • Dealing with insecure spouse • Keep ego from becoming a super ego
WOMAN’S DILEMMA It is a scientific fact that the more successful the woman the greater her odds are at getting divorced. The University of Toronto and Carnegie Mellon University did a study that suggests that Oscar winners in the Best Actress category are at a higher risk of divorce than the nominee who doesn’t win. Such as Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Sandra Bullock, and Hillary Swank. Reasons for higher divorce rates among successful women include: • Longer working hours • Successful women are more likely to cheat • Less likely to have children • And if they do have kids they are more likely to be unhappy about it • They start to belittle their spouse • They go Diva These are the reasons that researchers have found to have some correlation between successful women and divorce
Personally, my opinion is one that I think all women would agree with. The major reason why successful women have a greater risk of getting a divorce is due to her man’s enormous ego. Let’s face it ladies and gentlemen…..Women who make more money than their husband have to deal with this issue. And it’s that ego that get’s in the way when it comes to finances. Many men are raised to believe that they should be the primary bread winner of the family. Breaching this social norm has some unexpected and sometimes unusual effects.
Working Mothers/Ernst & Young surveyed 4,606 workers and poses the statement “I’m comfortable if my spouse/partner earns more than I do”
HOW TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS • Leave work at work • Avoid discussing work when with friends • Turn off cell phone,/computer when you are spending time with spouse • Try to save some of that raise • Suppress that Super Ego • Don’t go Diva • Spend quality time with spouse • Remember your job is not your life, only a means to let you live your life • Remain Humble—Never forget where you came from…