Language Workshop

1. Language Workshop Student Teaching Orientation August 23, 2010

2. Disclaimer! • U may b attempted to think this stuff doesn’t apply 2 u. B4 u quit listening 2 me, please c this presentation thru. Give the workshop a chance to make ¢, and I will try 2 provide a gr8 application of its content. K?

3. Can you raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid! Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are. The olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses, and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

4. Count the F’s Finished files are the result of years of scientific study combined with the experience of years.

5. Count the F’s • Finished files are the result of years of scientific study combined with the experience of years.

6. Easy? • If we explore English’s paradoxes, we find that quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither a pig nor from Guinea.

7. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?

8. Worth trying harder? • I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I had seven, but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper. • Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

9. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see. • I want my money as quick as I can get it. I’ve been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do any good. If things don’t improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

10. Say what you mean! • My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago, and I haven’t had any relief since.

11. WRONG Mr Poore,I am e-mailng you about our arrangement for student teaching. I will take two praxis test and if i pass one, i will be admitted to student teaching, and if not, i will not student teach this semester and i will retake the test at a later date, and uppon passing them, attempt to student teach at a later date. The test i am going to attempt,

12. Right • Mr. Poore,I am e-mailing you about our arrangement for student teaching. I will take two Praxis tests, and if I pass one, I will be admitted to student teaching.If not, I will not student teach this semester, and I will retake the test(s)at a later date.Upon passing them, I’ll attempt to student teach at a later date. The testsI am going to attempt are

13. WRONG • I have yet to receive my first placement for next semester. Please, if there are any changes, could you email me at the soonest possible time so I will be able to arrange a meeting with my CT and school principle.

14. Right • I have yet to receive my first placement for next semester. Please, if there are any changes, could you email me at the soonest possible time so I will be able to arrange a meeting with my CT and school principal?

15. WRONG • What time our we meeting next Thursday?

16. Right • What time is our meeting next Thursday?

17. WRONG • Hello Ms Cook,I just wanted to let you know I did get the email. I have a couple of questions, my circumstances were out of the norm when i was preparing for student teaching and i had a late start and all but i have now completed all the requirements for teacher ed and i have taken the PPST, so my questions, am i able to student teach and has a school been assigned to me yet? if so what school?

18. Right • Hello Ms. Cook,I just wanted to let you know I did get the email. I have a couple of questions.My circumstances were out of the norm when I was preparing for student teaching, and I had a late start and all. However, I have now completed all the requirements for teacher ed, and I have taken the PPST.soMy questions:Am I able to student teach and has a school been assigned to me yet? If so, what school?

19. WRONG • I am sorry I did not know no one told me besides  had a final in women self defense class last night how can I make this up I am so sorry I was not notified.

20. Right • I am sorry. I did not know. No one told me. Besides I had a final in women’s self-defense class last night. How can I make this up? I am so sorry. I was not notified.

21. WRONG • This would be more fesible for my trip to UTM instead of making 2 driving trips to UTM and Jackson. Please let me know If a meeting time is accomidating to your schedule. If you do not hear an e-mail response by the morning of the 15h please contact me on my cell BR-549.

22. Right • This would be more feasible for my trip to UTM instead of making two driving trips to UTM and Jackson. Please let me know if a meeting time is accommodating to your schedule. If you do not receive an e-mail response by the morning of the 15th, please contact me on my cell at BR-549.

23. WRONG • Oh, Im sorry about that. I guess I wasn't paying attention.

24. Right • Oh, I’m sorry about that. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.

25. WRONG • I'm sorry, but I just do not have anyone that can watch my kids at night.  When you able to schedule time to meet with me, just let me know.  

26. Right • I’m sorry, but I just do not have anyone who can watch my kids at night. When you are able to schedule a time to meet with me, just let me know.

27. WRONG • Mrs Cook,    I realize it is still relatively early for you to have our Student Teaching spots finalized, as a matter of fact I hear that it won't be till summer till the schools actually approve us.

28. Right • Mrs. Cook,    I realize that it is still relatively early for you to have our student teaching placements finalized. As a matter of fact, I hear that it won't be until summer before the schools actually approve us.

29. WRONG • I do not have much to correct, it is just getting it checked.

30. Right • I do not have much to correct. The only thing I lack is having my portfolio evaluated by my professor.

31. WRONG • I am writing this email to let you know that I full understand the term of our agreement. I greatly appriciate you giving me this opportunity. You have my schedule for summer and fall of 2010. If there is anything else I need to do please let me know.

32. Right • I am writing this email to let you know that I fully understand the terms of our agreement. I greatly appreciate your giving me this opportunity. You have my schedule for summer and fall of 2010. If there is anything else I need to do, please let me know.

33. 10 Flagrant Grammar Mistakes That Make You Look Dumb http://news.zdnet.co.uk/itmanagement/0,1000000308,39273376,00.htm

34. Dodge the Grammar Traps • http://www.webpagecontent.com/arc_archive/138/5/

35. 5 Embarrassing Grammar Mistakes • http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/columns/?article=embarrassinggrammar

36. Where Can I Get Help? • http://englishplus.com/grammar/mistcont.htm

37. Other Pet Peeves • Continue on • Separate out • Two twins • Widow woman • I have/haven’t took • I seen/I done • Here is/There is • Fewer/less

38. .” • ,” • ?” • ”? • !” • ”! • ”: • ”;

39. Examples: ”? & ?” and ”! & !” • Is the name of that article “Twelve Handy Management Techniques”? • Mother asked, “Is it really my 75th birthday?” • I’m sick and tired of people overusing “exclamation points”! • Billy Bob exclaimed, “Oh, no, he ran over Bubba!”

40. Stuff! Not only, but also A lot A bunch A great deal So (so that, and, very, therefore) You (second person pronouns) Indefinite pronouns Your/You’re