Professional Writing in English Clarity Guidelines (ii)

1. Professional Writing in EnglishClarity Guidelines (ii) PowerPoint by Humberto Burcet. March 8, 2007. Revision: clarity guidelines (i): 1-3 4. Be positive 5. Modifiers 6. Verbs up front 7. Parallel structure 8. Clear pronouns 9. Stucked modifiers 10. Clear prepositions Sources: materials designed by Kevin Costello http://www.bbc.co.uk/skillswise/words/grammar/texttypes/negatives/factsheet.shtml

2. Clarity guidelines (i) • 1. Write shorter sentences • Make the average length of your sentences between 15 and 20 words. • Don’t be afraid to use short sentences, but avoid stacks of them. • Be very selective with long sentences. • 2. Use the active voice • Use the active voice—unless there’s a good reason for using the passive. • 3. Use vigorous verbs • Nominalizations (the abstraction of the verb) slow down communication.

3. 4. Be positive Negative sentences can often confuse. Be positive whenever you can. What are double negatives? A double negative happens when you put two negative words together in the same sentence. If the two negative words are talking about the same thing, they cancel each other out - so the message becomes positive. This is confusing and it is a major mistake if you are in a formal situation (for example, writing a letter or at a job interview).

4. 4. Be positive Negative + negative ------------- = positive If you combine any two of the above words in the same idea, your sentence will be positive (the opposite to what you intended). So only use one negative word in a sentence when you want to say that something is negative.

5. 4. Be positive

6. 5. Modifiers Misplaced modifiers lead to illogical sentences that are difficult to follow. Relocate misplaced modifiers. Misplaced modifier I knew a man with a wooden leg called George. George?

7. 5. Modifiers After moving a phrase, always re-read the sentence to make sure that you have not made it worse or changed the intended meaning. • A modifier is a word, phrase or clause that gives information about—or modifies—another word. If modifiers are positioned carelessly, texts can be difficult to understand, or even worse, unsuspecting readers may get the impression of having understood when in fact they have not. • Parents with children who want to be at the front should arrive at the parade early. • Who wants to be at the front? Parents? Children? • Only the author knows which meaning is intended: the readers can only guess. They may not even notice the source of confusion and misinterpret the sentence.

8. 5. Modifiers • You can sometimes use commas to remove ambiguity. • When it comes to eating people differ in their tastes. • When it comes to eating, people differ in their tastes.

9. 6. Verbs up front Locate verbs near the front of sentences. Verb Make sure the subject and verb of the main clause are easily located and fairly close to each other. The verb is the pivot of the sentence. It should come relatively early in the sentence so that the part before the verb is shorter than the part after it. The sentences below are unbalanced and so are difficult to understand.

10. 6. Verbs up front • Pressure to prevent the erection of new nuclear power stations and even to demolish existing power stations is increasing. • Pressure is increasing to prevent the erection of new nuclear power stations and even to demolish existing power stations. In this study, the care given by a hospital and the medical outcomes of patients are compared. The effects of exogenous factors, such as the types of illnesses, are accounted for. Also, the opinions of both patients and physicians on the quality of health care are considered. TIP Run your finger under the first 6 or 7 words of a sentence, and if you cannot find a verb, consider recasting the sentence.

11. 7. Parallel structure DO USE parallel structures, particularly in lists of elements. Avoid faulty parallelism. Be sure you use grammatically equal sentence elements to express two or more matching ideas or items in a series. Incorrect: The candidate’s goals include winning the election, a health program, and education.Revised: The candidate’s goals include winning the election, enacting a national health program, and improving the educational system.Incorrect: Some critics are not so much opposed to capital punishment as postponing it for so long.Revised: Some critics are not so much opposed to sentencing convicts to capital punishment as they are to postponing executions for so long.

12. Parallel structure is particularly important in bulleted lists! 7. Parallel structure 1. This is non-parallel, and must be changed. • I am responsible for: • editing copy • Supervised layout • I have three years experience as a news writer. 2. Better, but emphasises the number of years only in the last item. • CV • Personal data • Qualifications • Work esperience • Languages • IT Knowledge • I have: • Edited copy • Supervised layout • Spent three years writing news. 3. Even better but not completely balanced. • I have: • Edited copy • Supervised layout • Written news for three years. 4 & 5. Both OK. Notice the absence of colon; notice comma and conjunction. • I have: • Edited copy (one year) • Supervised layout (two years) • Written news (three years). • I have experience • editing copy (one year), • supervising layout (two years) and • writing news (three years).

13. 8. Use clear pronouns Make the antecedents of pronouns clear. Noun 1 Noun 2 Pronoun 1 Pronoun 2 It is all right to give raw milk to your baby, but first you must boil it. What must you first boil, the baby or the milk?

14. 8. Use clear pronouns • There is often a problem with “it”: • Because Senator Martin is less interested in the environment than in economic development, he sometimes neglects it. • What does Senator Martin sometimes neglect, the environment or the economy? • No one yet had demonstrated the structure of the human kidneys, Vesalius having examined them only in dogs. • What does the pronoun “them” refer to? Dogs’ human kidneys?

15. 9. Unstuck modifiers Break up stacked modifiers whenever possible. Nouns can modify other nouns. That is, they can act as adjectives. For example, you can say that an oil engine needs engine oil, or the “Biochemistry Department” instead of the “Department of Biochemistry”. However, a phrase with more than two words should be viewed with suspicion, particularly if an adjective is included among the nouns. The relationship may be unclear even if the string of nouns is fairly short. Voluntary human kidney donor research institution personnel wanted

16. 9. Unstuck modifiers As a rule, check any string of three nouns to make sure the meaning is clear • English history teachers. • Are they history teachers who are English • Or are they teachers of English history (of whatever nationality)? • Government property tax reform proposals • Are they proposals for reforming government tax on property? • Or proposals by the government to reform property tax? Hyphenation can sometimes be a way of making meaning clearer, but normally sentences should be re-written and short noun phrases should be linked with prepositions.

18. 10. Clear prepositions Cut up prepositional strings.

19. It can be difficult to understand long strings of prepositional phrases, one dependent on the other. For example: • The ambassador took the opportunity for a lecture on the necessity for improvement of relations between the People’s Republic of China and the United States. • This problem is linked to the excessive use of n… • …nominalizations. Heavy abstract nouns and prepositional phrases tend to attract each other, and when a writer habitually uses both, the product is often wordy and lifeless. • If the abstract nouns are changed into verbs, the prepositional problem disappears, or at least improves considerably: • The ambassador took the opportunity to lecture on why it was necessary to improve relations between the People’s Republic of China and the United States. Turn nouns into verbs

20. 10. Clear prepositions Change prepositions • If you cannot solve the problem by changing nouns into verbs, at least try to vary the prepositions. The following sentence, for example has too many ofs: • I have read of the achievement of the Irish of the southern regions of New England. • In this case, it is a fairly straightforward matter of changing some of the prepositions: • I have read about the achievement of the Irish in the southern regions of New England.

21. Revision Negative sentences can often confuse. Be positive whenever you can. Parallel structure is particularly important in bulleted lists! Misplaced modifiers lead to illogical sentences that are difficult to follow. Relocate misplaced modifiers. Cut up prepositional strings. Make the antecedents of pronouns clear. Change prepositions Break up stacked modifiers whenever possible. Locate verbs near the front of sentences.