Relational Aggression: Using Relationships To Hurt

1. Pre-Tests Relational Aggression: Using Relationships To Hurt February 2012

2. Targets Develop Understanding of Relational Aggression in Context Examine What Research Tells us Reflect on personal and work related experiences to R.A. Consider the influence of media and culture on R.A. Obtain Intervention Ideas and Resources

3. A Form of Bullying Bullying Simplified: • On purpose • Repeated • Imbalance of Power Types of Bullying • Physical • Verbal • Relational/Social/Friendship • Cyber

4. Relational Aggression Defined Behavior that is intended to harm someone by damaging or manipulating his or her relationships with others Examples ?? • Gossip • Rumor Spreading • Exclusion • Alliance Building • Public Embarrassment • Ignoring • Taunting • Teasing • Intimidation • Eye Rolling • Three Way Calling • Manipulative Affection

5. The Law Washington Law on Bullying 2007Harassment, intimidation, or bullying means any intentional electronic, written, verbal, or physical act, including but not limited to one shown to be motivated because of his or her perception of the victim's race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, or mental, physical, or sensory handicap or other distinguishing characteristics, when the intentional electronic, written, verbal, or physical act: 1.Physically harms a student or damages the student's property or 2.Has the effect of substantially interfering with a student's education; or 3.Is so severe, persistent, or pervasive that it creates an intimidating or threatening educational environment; or 4.Has the effect of substantially disrupting the orderly operation of the school.

6. R.A. Facts 48% of students are regularly exposed to relational aggression 90% of students reported being the target of bullying or relational aggression at one time or another 2007-08 25% of public schools reported that bullying occurred daily or weekly Ages 11-15 estimate exposure to 33 acts of relational aggressions ophelia@opheliaproject.org

7. Thoughts??? What does this bring up for you? Who is the bully? What role do the other girls play? What questions do you have? How realistic is this ?

8. The Pioneer Study Crick and Grotpeter 1995 University of Illinois at Urbana Chicago Study Details Sampled 491 3-6th Graders Midwestern Public School 60% Caucausian 37% African American 3% Other Purpose: In previous research boys were seen as more aggressive, Introduced term relational aggression to describe a different type of covert aggression that occurred with girls Measurement: Peer Nomination Scale, Scales Measuring peer status, depression, loneliness, social avoidance/anxiety/perceptions of peer relations

9. The Pioneer Study Crick and Grotpeter 1995 University of Illinois at Urbana Chicago Major Findings Validated that Relational Aggression was a separate form of Aggression More Prevalent in Girls than boys At risk for serious adjustment difficulties (More rejected, Higher levels of loneliness, Depression Isolation)

10. Recent Research

11. Why do More Girls Use Relational Aggression? (Turn & Talk)

12. Ask the Experts Rosalind Wiseman 2003 (handout) Rachel Simmons (2003) (sample) Mary Pipher (2005)

13. Aggressor Interventions Odd Girl Out (2005) • Build empathy • Develop Pro-Social Skills • Increase Self-Esteem • Promote Awareness (Effects of RA behavior) • Connect behaviors with personal values • Avoid assuming the aggressor is socially incompetent • Aggressors may have higher social intelligence • Friendships based on shared interests not social standing

14. Victim Interventions Chrissa Stays Strong (2009) • Assertiveness Skill Training/ Empowerment • Who to go to for help? • Developing a system of support • Resiliency Training (Cognitive-Behavioral and Social Problem Solving Skills) • School-wide Interventions, Small groups, Classroom guidance, Individual counseling • Empowering the masses (Bystanders)

15. Elementary

16. Middle/High

17. Other Resources A Handbook of Prevention and Intervention Zins et al (2007) • Empirically supported programs: • Friend to Friend • WITS (Walk away, Ignore, Talk, Seek Help) • Second Step: Social Skills Alexandra Robbins 2011

18. Interventions • Mean Girls: 101 1/2 Creative Strategies and Activities for Working with Relational Aggression (Grades: 3-12) • By: Kaye Randall and Allyson Bowen (2007) • Covers Social Cruelty, Bullying and Injustice(Grades 6-12) By: Rosalind Wiseman • Other Elementary: • A Smart Girls Guide to Friendship Troubles • I Hate Wendy Club • Books: Trouble Talk, Bully, Just Kidding

19. Parents Role & Tips Avoid Do Ask Questions Like When girls want to be mean in your class, what kinds of things do they do? Does the Teacher see when it’s happening? Why or Why not? How do they react? Are some girls more secretive about their meanness? How? Can friends be mean to each other? How? LISTEN and SUPPORT • “It’s a phase.” • “I never liked that friend anyways.” • “What can you being doing to cause this?” • “This is the way girls are. Get used to it.” • “You’re being too sensitive, are you sure they aren’t joking?”

20. What Role does Media play? FRENEMIES

21. What Role does Culture play? VIDEO Turn & Talk • Gender Norms Vary from Culture to culture • Some evidence that African American girls tend to communicate more directly Hispanic more passive • Boys-How do they fit? • Mindful of Generalizations • Mindful of Stereotypes

22. Web Resources

23. Conclusion “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix What is your take away from today? Feedback