Composition Learning Points

1. Composition Learning Points 6/4

2. Intro is too long! (2 pages??) Get to the story! Vroom! A red Nissan saloon car meandered into the parking lot near the park. My family and I got out and headed towards the park with our picnic basket in tow. Nathaniel

3. Story moves too fast! Suddenly, one of the monkeys climbed onto the pram and pushed it away. Mrs Tan was at a loss for words and stood there motionlessly. Mr Tan ran as fast as his legs could carry him to rescue his daughter. Another family also helped to chase the money away. Mrs Tan was very grateful to the family that helped her. Looking back at the …. How can the main part of the story take up only one paragraph?

4. Questions to give more details • Suddenly, one of the monkeys climbed onto the pram and pushed it away. • Why did the monkey behave this way? What sparked this behaviour? How did the baby in the pram react? • Mrs Tan was at a loss for words and stood there motionlessly. • What was going through her mind? Why didn’t she immediately rescue her baby? What did she do in the end? • Mr Tan ran as fast as his legs could carry him to rescue his daughter. • What was Mr Tan doing just before this happened? What were his thoughts when he heard the pleas? How did he feel the moment he saw what was happening?

5. Questions to give more details • Another family also helped to chase the money away. • What was their reaction? Why didn’t they help out earlier? Why did they finally decide to help out? How did the monkey react? Did they fight back? Did they run? Were there scratches? • Mrs Tan was very grateful to the family that helped her. • How did she show her gratefulness? What about the baby? Is he okay? Did Mrs Tan check for any injury on her baby? How did the family react upon being thanked?

6. A monkey’s sensitive nose caught the faint aroma of food. Instinctively, it perched upright, eyes on the prize. It knew the banana would be its catch of the day. The monkey locked on to its target, ready for the opportune moment. Unbeknownst to Mrs Tan, this very same banana was the one that was now in little Jenny’s waving hands. Neither Mrs Tan nor Jenny could anticipate what would happened next.

7. Catching everyone by surprise, the monkey leapt from the shadows and landed right behind the pram with a loud thud. Yelling out a war cry, it jumped around and waved its arms in the air menacingly. Mrs Tan was petrified! As the monkey carried on with its show of brute force, Jenny, utterly terrified at the scene unfolding before her, wailed and screamed for her life. Mrs Tan could not act. She was still in shock. All she could do was to only look on in hopelessness and prayed fervently for little Jenny’s life. What could she do? The monkey was on the warpath!

8. All Mrs Tan could afford was stare open-mouthed, eyes almost popping out! Her blended mix of emotions in her only gripped her even more tightly than ever, paralysing her from where she stood. Acting on instinct, a buff man snapped out of the momentary shock. Fearing for the baby’s life, he burst into the scene with a fallen branch from the ground and began swinging it around wildly in the air. His priority was the baby’s safety and all he could think of was to scare off the agitated ape through violent swings and booming shouts.

9. Upon witnessing the erratic human’s berserk motions and ear-splitting screams, the monkey was taken aback! It worked! The rascal stopped its menacing behaviour and looked intently at the man. Encouraged by the monkey’s reaction, the buff man stepped up his game and advanced even more threateningly. By now, Mrs Tan had finally gathered enough courage to do something. “My baby!” she screamed as she bolted to little Jenny in her pram.

10. Fearful of the monkey or not, Mrs Tan’s motherly instincts kicked in and she swooped her baby out of her pram. Written by: Mr Suhaimi 

11. Talk more about the sign! • At the park, we saw a sign that says “Do not feed the monkeys Fine $1000”. We obeyed the rules and did not feed the monkeys. TOO SHORT!!

12. At the park, we saw a sign that says “Do not feed the monkeys Fine $1000”. My uncle used to tell me these monkeys should never be fed, not even once. These primates should always find their own food like how they should always be out there in the jungle. However, some visitors want that perfect shot of the monkey in close-up mode and hence, resort to feeding them. As a result, the monkeys here have learnt that humans equal to food. Hence, they get agitated if humans do not feed them. Anyway, as I was enjoying the cool air, …