Social Skills & Asset Building for Kids

1. Social Skills & Asset Building for Kids

2. Overview • Perceptions • Personal capabilities & strengths • Mindset- fixed vs. growth • Positive identity • Skills • Interpersonal • Survival • Conflict resolution • Relaxation

3. Perception vs. Skills • Personal perceptions- are conclusions we reach about ourselves and our lives as a result of our experiences. • Skills- are the capacity we develop and or learn to do as a result of practice & experience.

4. Perception of Personal Capabilities (Glenn/Nelsen) • Feeling capable- my life has meaning and purpose • Cross age tutoring, cooking, input in family meetings, special jobs at school • Quickly celebrate movements in the right direction and you will get more results • Point out what we admire in our children and others (helps sharpen self-evaluation skills).

6. Perception of Personal Strengths (Gardner) • Every child has a gifts/talents (some hidden). • Howard Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences All children are gifted...

7. Perception: Fixed vs. Growth Mindset (Dweck) • Children need to believe they have influence over their lives. • “Growth mindset” is the belief that our most basic abilities, intelligence and talents can be developed through dedication and hard work. • This view helps to create more of a resiliency to new or challenging tasks. Children with this type of mindset are more likely to take on challenges and to stretch their abilities.

8. Perception: Positive Identity (Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets) • Personal power- the child can make choices and influence things that happen in their life • Self-esteem- likes self, sense of being valued by others • Sense of purpose- anticipates new opportunities, experiences and milestones • Positive view of future- finds world interesting & feels he/she has a positive place in it.

10. Building Empathy • Openness to understand another person’s point of view. • Careful listening leads to understanding • Understanding leads to empathy • Empathy is the experience of understanding another person's condition from their perspective. You place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling.

11. Empathy

12. Table Talk • As adults, is it easier to empathize with someone when something good happens in their life or something bad? • How do we help our children empathize with or be happy for someone else when their natural instinct is to feel jealous or competitive?

13. Development of Strong Intrapersonal Skills • Self assessment • Self control • Self Discipline

14. Self Assessment • Acknowledge own feelings • Understand feelings are legitimate • Use “I statements”

15. Self Control • The ability to select from among a number of possible behaviors an appropriate response to a feeling • A recognition that feelings do not cause actions, our mind choses how to respond to feelings (I feel, I do, I experience)

16. Anger Management • Anger is not inherently good or bad. It is what people do with it that matters. • Anger triggers & physical reaction • Anger elevator, time outs, self-talk, not blaming others, problem solving

17. Self Discipline • Set aside a behavior that brings immediate gratification to achieve a goal • Decision-making & responsible behavior • Demonstrate emotions in an acceptable way • Self discipline can only be taught by parents who don’t pamper children.

18. Table Talk • Is your child able to recognize and express his/her feelings? • Any strategies that you have used to help with self control and self discipline.

19. Survival Skills • Basic social Skills • Acknowledge another person • Listen/respond • Introduce self • Classroom/Behavioral Skills • Comply with directions • Attention to task • Seek assistance • Accept and learn from consequences

20. Skill Deficit or Performance Deficit?

21. Types of Social Skills Deficiencies ^ • Skill deficit: Student cannot identify correct response for a social situation; actions are not in the student's behavior repertoire. • Performance deficit: Correct social response can be identified by the student when questioned, but is displayed only during the role play situations. • How do we respond to each? • Skill deficits usually respond to direct instruction. • Performance deficits usually require a guarantee that the new behavior will capture at least the same amount of benefits as the current behavioral response (& practice, practice, practice to make it default choice).

22. How do we teach social skills? • Modeling • Direct instruction • Behavioral rehearsal • Social stories on power point • Video taping (with prompting)

23. Interpersonal Skills • Empathy/Tolerance/Compassion • Sharing • Join an Activity/Initiate play • Begin a Conversation • Give/Accept Compliments

24. Conflict Resolution Skills • Dealing with being left out • Negative peer pressure • Losing/failing • Making mistakes

25. Relaxation & Managing Children’s Anxiety • Breathing • Visualizations • Progressive muscle relaxation • Affirmations

26. References • Raising Self Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn/Nelsen) • Mindset (Dweck) • Multiple Intelligences (Gardner)