Working with families in particular circumstances

1. Working with families in particular circumstances Divorce Parents of Children with Special Needs Teen Mothers Families when Abuse Occurs

2. America and Divorce • Discussion • What are some reasons you personally might consider a divorce? • Is falling out of love an appropriate reason for wanting a divorce? • What were you taught growing up about the acceptability of divorce? • YouTube - Divorce affects children!

3. Marriage and Divorce (2003) • 60 million married couples in US • 40-50% of all marriages end in divorce • Annually 2,187,000 marriages • 7.5 marriages per 1000 total population • 1.25 million divorces annually • 3.8 divorces per 1000 total population

4. Factors Affecting Divorce • Shift from agricultural to industrial society • Social integration • Individualistic American culture • Demographic factors: • Employment status • Income • Educational level • Ethnicity • Religion.

5. Stations of Divorce • (Bohannan) As people divorce, they undergo these “divorces” simultaneously. • Emotional • Legal • Economic • Co-parental • Community • Psychic

6. Factors Affecting Divorce • Life Course Factors: • Intergenerational transmission (Amato, 1996) • Parental divorce increases chance of child’s marriage ending within first five years by as much as 70%. • Increased risk of divorce is especially great if both spouses experienced parental divorce. • Effects are strongest when parents divorce early in child’s life (age 12 or younger)

7. Consequences of Divorce • Economic consequences • Impoverishment of women • Changed female employment patterns • Fewer financial resources for family – often leading to moves to cramped apartments and less desirable neighborhoods

8. Consequences of Divorce • Non-economic consequences include: • More psychological distress, lower levels of happiness, more social isolation, more health problems. • Divorced people are three times as likely to commit suicide. • Some divorced people experience higher levels of personal growth and greater autonomy.

9. Children and Divorce • Children in happy two-parent families are the best adjusted • Children in conflict-ridden two-parent families are the worst adjusted. • Children from single-parent families are in the middle. • Kids' Turn

10. Children and Divorce • Children of divorce suffer: • Reduction of income • Weakening ties with fathers • Deterioration in family life • Loss of “residential stability” • Problems in school • Lower self-esteem • Increased likelihood of drug abuse • Greater likelihood of becoming teen parents

11. Children and Divorce • Three-Stage Process of divorce for children: • Initial stage—Turmoil is greatest. • Transition stage—Adjusting to new family. • Restabilization stage—Integration of changes.

12. Children and Divorce • Developmental tasks of divorce: • Acknowledging parental separation • Disengaging from parental conflicts • Resolving loss • Resolving anger and self-blame • Accepting the finality of divorce • Achieving realistic expectations for later relationship success

13. Factors Contributing to Children’s Adjustment • Mental health of parents • Quality of parent-child relationships • Degree of anger vs cooperation • Age, temperament, and flexibility of child • Extent to which parents are willing to have the same routines for the children in each home

14. Children and Divorce • Adjustment to divorce: • Open discussion prior to divorce • Involvement with noncustodial parent • Lack of hostility between divorced parents • Good psychological adjustment to divorce by custodial parent • Stable living situation and good parenting skills. • Continued involvement with the children by both parents

15. Children and Divorce • Adjustment to divorce: • Not all children suffer negative consequences. • 90% of children with divorced parents achieve same level well-being as children of continuously married parents (Amato, 2003). • 20-25% children from divorced families have problems (Wallerstein)

16. Child Custody • Generally based on one of 2 standards: • The best interests of the child • The least detrimental of the available alternatives. • The major types of custody are sole, joint, and split.

17. Children and Divorce • 26% of children under the age of 18 live with a divorced parent. • 39% of divorced women with children live in poverty • Civility among parents and assurance that both still love the children is helpful • Some need brief individual play therapy, others need family counseling

18. Behavior problems • Children in single-parent or remarried families do not do as well as those in non-divorced households • 25-30% of single-parent and divorced households reported behavior problems, while only 10% of non-divorced households reported behavior problems with children. • 20% of children in stepfamilies have behavior problems compared to 10% of children in non-divorced families.

19. Child Custody • Sole custody • Accounts for 85% of all U.S. divorce cases • Women traditionally have been responsible for child rearing • Many men do not feel competent

20. Child Custody • Joint custody • Accounts for 10% of cases. • Joint legal custody • Children live primarily with one parent • Both parents share in decisions regarding the children. • Joint physical custody • Requires parents to work out practical logistics • …as well as feelings about each other.

21. Child Custody • Split custody • Splits the children between the parents • Usually girls live with mother, boys with father

22. The effects of remarriage on children • Income is raised. • Another adult is there to help. • Behavior problems • Blending two families presents a new set of challenges

23. Blended family issues • Loyalty is a problem • May feel guilty for bonding with a step parent • Children often act out, won’t even try to like a step parent. • Family must incorporate new parent’s style and rules.

24. The stabilization period • The stepparent moves toward the role of “intimate outsider”, which is somewhere between parent and trusted friend. • Stepparent role includes • Warmth toward and support of the stepchildren. • Little disciplining of the stepchildren. • Support for the biological parent. • Stepfathers in general tend to be less involved than biological fathers.

25. Stepmother and stepfather differences • Being a stepmother can be harder than being a stepfather. • In typical remarriage chains today, children live with mother and stepfather. • Typical stepmother must establish relationship during visits. • Stepfathers compete with non-custodial fathers who may not see children very often. • Often fill a vacuum left by departed biological father. • May hold to a lower standard than stepmothers. • Easier for children to accept two father figures than two mother figures.

26. How can teachers help? • Maintain a structured environment • Encourage expression of feelings • Open up areas for discussion… • Help children release pent-up feelings • Encourage acceptance • Demonstrate respect for family uniqueness • Be aware of group reactions

27. Working with Parents • Reassure parents • Keep requests light • Be aware of legal agreements • Know available community resources

28. Working with Parents of Children with Special Needs • Individualized Educational Plans • Develop relationships based on mutual respect • Try to understand the increased stress in the lives of parents • Be hopefully realistic • Know available community resources

29. Working with Families when Abuse Occurs • Indicators of abuse • Physical • Sexual • Emotional • Neglect • Reporting abuse 1-800-252-5400 • Create an atmosphere of trust and healing • Refer families to support groups

30. Working with Adoptive Families • Include adoption in the curriculum • Talking to families • Talking to children • Offer resources