Chapter 9 “Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships”

1. Chapter 9“Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships” Joe Pillizzi & ZacPallissard

2. Initiating Relationships • Romantic Relationship Vs. Friendship • Is there a difference? • Most people are 100% open with your friends • You show your friends your true self

3. Initiating Relationships • At the beginning of a relationship with a romantic partner you don’t show them your “real self” • You tend to just show them the good parts of yourself

4. Initiating Relationships • No big talk (deep Conversations) without small talk • Even though some people hate small talk • With small talk you must be able to show others your interests • Uncertainty Reduction theory

5. Initiating Romantic Relationships http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oqps_-QfnOQ

6. Initiating Romantic Relationships • Flirting • What’s your best pick up line? • Dating anxiety • Easier to get a sexual partner than a romantic long-term Relationship

7. Initiating Romantic Relationships • Go ahead test the waters! • Nonverbal flirting • 60% of all communication is nonverbal • 30% of communication is tone • So…. 90% of communication is “not the words coming out of your mouth” • Attraction Theory

8. Initiating Romantic Relationships • Non Verbal Flirting • Eye Contact • Interpersonal distance • Posture • Gestures • Facial Expressions • Touch

9. Is Dating Dead • Is “Dating” dead • People our age are less intrigued with dating • Dating Vs. Hooking up • Usually Men initiate dates • Both sexes have double the amount of hooks ups than first dates • Men hook up first • Women date first • So is dating Dead?

10. Initiating Romantic Relationships • While in a relationship • Smart daters don’t tell all at the beginning • But being too passive will ruin a relationship • So in order to have a successful relationship you must find a happy medium

11. Initiating Friendships http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0xgjUhEG3U

12. Initiating Friendships • Almost the same as initiating a intimate relationship • No flirting • The most important thing is conversation • But most people still fear rejection

13. Initiating Friendships • You must start a conversation • If you don’t start a conversation then the other person may think you don’t like them • It all starts, yet again, with small talk

14. Maintaining Relationships • Effective communication is essential in maintaining and improving relationships both romantic relationships and friendships • If the relationship or friendship is going well the communication satisfaction increases • The same goes if the relationship or friendship is going bad the communication satisfaction decreases

15. Maintaining Romantic Relationships through Communication • You need to be interested in your partner • Ask about their day • Encourage your partner to discuss deep thoughts and even the relationship • You have to be happy with your partner • Be cheerful and act happy

16. Maintaining Romantic Relationships • Be honest (sometimes) • ex. “do I look fat in this outfit?” • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8eR4mDKH_c • Humor • Nicknames • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BymzZNywcBY

17. Maintaining Friendships through Communication • Most conversations with friends are small talk • Most conversations last only 3 min. • Interestingly friends are usually friends with other people that have the same communication skills (or lack of) • Friends must be open, positive, and they must be able to listen (much like an intimate partner)

18. Maintaining Friendships Some scholars believe that good conflict management is a vital part in relationships

19. Works Cited • http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html • The Movie “Hitch” • An Inductive Analysis of Relational Maintenance Strategies: Comparisons Among Lovers, Relatives, Friends, and Others • http://people.uncw.edu/mcdaniela/maintenance.pdf • http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/dev/43/2/267/ • http://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED099116