960 likes | 1.11k Views
Welcome. Communication with Others. Presented by Bernard Denner. Centre for Advancement of Men’s Health (CAMH) Mildura www.mannet.com.au. Understanding & Engaging Males…to ‘Reduce Early Male Mortality’ Presented by Bernard Denner Men’s Health Educator & Advocate
E N D
Welcome Communication with Others Presented by Bernard Denner Centre for Advancement of Men’s Health (CAMH) Mildura www.mannet.com.au
Understanding & Engaging Males…to ‘Reduce Early Male Mortality’ Presented by Bernard Denner Men’s Health Educator & Advocate Men’s Awareness Network (MAN) & Centre for Advancement of Men’s Health (CAMH) Mildura Victoria Australia www.mannet.com.au man@mannet.com.au & Mallee Track Health & Community Service Ouyen Victoria Aust. Welcome
What WEare looking at today • A bit about me • Communication • Parents / Teachers • Girls / Boys / Dating • Sex • Pitfalls
Who am I? Bernard Denner Health Educator /Projects Manager Bloke 55 yearsDivorced 12 yearsDaughters - 18 and 20 years Vietnam Veteran 3RAR…Infantry/Scout
mannet.com.au website of CAMH/Men’s Health Averages monthly: Up to 68,000 hits & 11,250+ sessions Rated in top 15% of 1.7m www domains in 2001 “Who said men weren’t interested in their health”
My work since 1994 focuses on providing Programs that address issues associated with: Men Adolescents Workplace Health Women Understanding Men and Farmsafety in Primary Schools
Health THE FACTS
Australian Mortality Rates National - 1999 15-24 years Cause of Death Males Females %Rate Suicide 398 71 435% Cancer 95 47 202% Leukemia 35 11 318% Transport Accident 407 116 350% Drugs 68 27 251% Source: Causes of Death, ABS, 1999
Australian Mortality Rates Loddon Mallee Health Region - 1994 Cause of Death Males Females %Rate Suicide 25 7 357% Cancer 309 230 134% Heart Disease 122 49 248% Source: DHS, Measures of Health Status and Health Services in Victoria, 1994
Communication in all aspects of Life is Important Whether it be with adults, friends, family or members of the opposite sex Good communication is the Solution to lots of problems
Know yourself • Get to know and like yourself • Become aware of your feelings and values; don’t be pushed into betraying them • If you’re not sure what you think and feel, WAIT; don’t rush yourself
Think about the decisions you make, their consequences and their effect on yourself and on others • Talk to the people you care about, let them know what you think and feel
Accept that you will make mistakes, and learn from them • BE YOURSELF Source: Be yourself, Love Sex and You, A Guide for Teenagers, Vicki Wootten
Swearing • The constant use of the “F” or “C” words: • Doesn’t make you an Adult • Doesn’t make you tough • Doesn’t attract nice girls/boys
It makes you: • Ugly • Aggressive • Impolite • Unattractive
Constant Swearing is UNATTRACTIVE Swearing at teachers is UNACCEPTABLE
Other unacceptable language is: Put downs of other people, especially females: e.g idiot, bitch, slut, spastic, dickhead, moron, son of a bitch, poofter, dyke,’You’re Gay’ What other words do you dislike? Source: Bernard Denner
Other unacceptable BOY THINGS Labelling Girls don’t like it! Source: Bernard Denner
Who are Parents? What is a Parent? What is Parenting Love? Parenting is important!
Pick the right time • Prepare yourself • Work within the Boundaries • Prepare some alternative • options • Remind Parents - You’re older
Don’t lose your cool • Negotiate calmly • Give and take • Don’t put one parent against the other - remember you will never win doing this. Source: Bernard J. Denner
Use Good examples to get your • Point Across • Like someone your Parents • Respect and Like
How important areTeachers? What’s their job? Maybe your future partly depends on them!
Pick the right time • Ask for an appointment / suitable time in advance • Don’t try to solve a problem or argue in front of the whole class
Prepare yourself • What do you want to say • What do you hope to achieve • Alternative outcomes that are acceptable to you and the Teacher
Work within the boundaries • Don’t lose your cool • Negotiate calmly • Understand that teachers are human and can make mistakes
Don’t promise what you can’t deliver - be realistic about your goals and work towards them • Give and take Source: Bernard J. Denner and Gail Allan
Discipline Boundaries Rules By Parents, Teachers and other adults … You Should ask yourself ... WHY?
IT MEANS …... That they ... CARE Want to ... GUIDE EDUCATE and SUPPORT YOU
Thoughts for Adolescents - …………...School • School is also chance to develop: • Lifeskills • Form opinions • Learn about themselves • Be educated for Life • Socialise
School is a chance to work on: • Coping with difficult people • Coping with difficult situations • and to LISTEN AND LEARN
Approach • Not to be threatening or Aggressive • Smile • Don’t Act too cool • Speak in a lower tone of voice
Don’t • Act too cool • “Bullshit” • Be a Hero • Talk only about yourself • Talk about how tough you are • or what a legend you are Advice from 3 teenage girls
Talk about • Music • Sport • TV Programs • Their interests • Your interests • Ask questions
Don’t act stupid • THINK before you SPEAK • Have something sensible to Say • You don’t have to swear • Talk about their things • Ask about things
Most of all Introduce yourself properly to a new friend and Smile Source: Bernard Denner
“Unthreatening” approach Speak clearly Invitation to be made with warmth Such as …….
“Would you like to …. go with me to the ice hockey?” go with me to the basketball?” go with me to the mall / shops?” go for a walk?” go to the pictures?
NOT “Would you like to meet me somewhere” or “I’m not doing anything Sat” or “just broke up with”
Phone Etiquette When phoning, speak politely to the parents, if they answer. You need their support - having good manners impresses. Remember to identify yourself clearly. Source: Bernard J. Denner
Communication in all aspects of Life is Important Whether it be with adults, friends, family or members of the opposite sex Good communication is the Solution to lots of problems
What is Sex? Male or Female Communication between couples Pleasure between couples Demonstration of Feelings/Affection Provides Intimacy Making Babies or Just for FUN
So Why do Adolescents have Sex?