School Age Summer Staff Orientation Series

1. School Age Summer Staff Orientation Series

2. Goal of the Series • The school age summer orientation series has been designed to help you understand the basics of caring for school age youth

3. Understanding the series Each module consists of: • Objective of the module • Training Content With a Youth: Activities With a Peer: Read and Reflect With a Supervisor: Self Assessment

4. What you will need • Print the PDF that goes with this course. The link is located by the link you clicked to open this module. • Paper and pencil • Approximately one hour of “quiet” time • Access to a printer • Optimistic outlook to gaining new knowledge

5. Module 2 Guidance

6. Objective To illustrate positive guidance techniques and appropriate human relationship skills.

7. Introduction • There is a difference between discipline and punishment • The goal of guidance is to help youth attain self-control • There is always an antecedent to behavior, it can be environmental, activity related or personal. • There are many techniques that can be used to guide a youth’s behavior • Every adult has the responsibility to help guide youth in making good choices in positive and respectful ways

8. Pre-Guidance Quiz • Let’s test your knowledge! Get a piece of paper and pencil. Ready? Here we go! (Hint: Don’t worry you won’t be graded.) • For the following statements, write on a piece of paper if you think the actions are an example of discipline or punishment. Put a “D” for discipline or a “P” for punishment. Good Luck. • Brad gets his mouth washed out with soap for saying a bad word. • Go sit in the corner and don’t move! • You need to keep your hands to yourself and listen. • I understand he made you mad, but hitting isn’t the answer. • Henry is mad and kicks a staff member, the staff member kicks him back. • I know it is a bummer to spill, here is a cloth to clean it up.

9. Pre-Guidance Quiz Answers How did it go? I bet you did great! Here are the answers: • Punishment • Punishment • Discipline • Discipline • Punishment • Discipline Throughout this module you will learn how to react to youth’s behaviors.

10. Discipline vs. Punishment • Discipline means “to teach”. You are guiding youth to learn how to be responsible for themselves and make good choices. Disciplining youth, while guiding them with love and respect, helps them develop self-esteem and responsibility. Caregivers train youth when they talk, teach, hold, and spend time with them. • Punishment means you are trying to gain control of the youth’s behavior through actions that invoke fear from them. Punishment usually teaches a youth to not get “caught” or to listen for fear of what will happen if they don’t.

11. Four Goals in Misbehavior • ANNOYS you, the goal is to get attention. The youth is saying, “Notice me, involve me.” • ANGERS you, the goal is to gain power. The youth is saying, “Let me help, give me choices.” • HURTS you, the goal is revenge, The youth is saying, “Help me, I’m hurting.” • MAKES YOU DESPAIR, the goal is to display inadequacy. The youth is saying, “Don’t give up on me; have faith in me.” From: Guidance – Jumpstart; handout #1, page 1: Four Goals of Misbehavior

12. Staff’s Role in Misbehavior Staff need to take a look at the part they may have played in the root cause of the misbehavior that is happening. Sometimes staff may be setting the youth up for failure and not even know they are doing it. All parts of the program need to be working together in order to have a positive impact on the youth. For example: • Youth are not given a notice that a change in activity is going to happen. For some youth, this will be devastating for them because they can’t finish what they were working on. They will react based on that feeling of upheaval. • You conduct an activity that is fun for you to do. Youth weren’t involved in the planning. All youth are made to come to the table to do it. Those youth who aren’t interested in that activity, may show you their boredom, or annoyance about having to be there outwardly by their actions. • Staff have program materials on shelves, on the floor, in cupboards. The tables are too small for the older youth. Youth are only given 15 minutes to eat right as they enter the program. Art supplies are kept in 3 different locations and two board games don’t have all the pieces. The youth may react due to their frustration when they try to decide what to do at the program. • Dana comes to the staff and wants to tell them about her day, two staff are talking with each other and tell Dana to wait. Dana waits and then tries to get the staff’s attention. Again she is told “not now, I am still talking”. The youth may throw something or slam a door because she wasn’t supported.

13. Staff’s Role in Misbehavior • Staff need to be clear in their instructions to youth • Staff need to allow time for youth to make choices of play and give a verbal warning when a change in activity is coming • Staff need to think about the youth’s interests when planning the materials they will place in the environment • Staff need to have youth’s input on what activities should be offered • Staff need to support all ages of youth by having adequate storage, supplies and furniture • Staff need to respect the youth in order to get respect in return • Staff need to remember that their program is not an extension of the school day Remembering your role in providing a safe, healthy, energized, organized, appropriate, fun program can help to stop the behaviors before they begin.

14. Learning Self Control • School age youth are learning that they have the power to make choices about their lives. At this stage in life, they know the difference between right and wrong, but still need the adults help to understand their role in society. • Youth need to learn that there are consequences to their actions. The consequences can be positive or negative. • How we as caregivers respond to their actions molds how that youth feels about themselves. If our responses to them are supportive, they become more confident in themselves, if our responses are usually negative, youth may start to feel inadequate.

15. Reasons for Misbehavior • Trying to get attention • Inappropriate activities or environment • Family stress • Extended periods of absence of a parent • Sick, tired or hungry • Bored • Lack the needed social skills • Anxiety (family or school) • Test limits (youth may know you are a new staff member and try to see what behaviors they can get away with or test you to see how you will react) • Don’t understand the rules

16. With a Peer: Read and Reflect Print out the “Challenging Behavior” worksheet from the PDF that goes with this module. Observe a group of school-agers for a short period of time. With a co-worker, choose a challenging behavior that may have been observed. If none were observed ask your co-worker for one. Then complete the worksheet.

17. Guidance Techniques Although school-age youth seem so grown up, their social skills are not yet well developed. It is not uncommon for school-agers to argue and fight a great deal with friends. They need considerable help learning social skills like how to make friends, trust others, work in a team, and resolve conflicts. School-agers also need to be taught how to use good manners, ask for help, and negotiate with others.School-agers enjoy being "older" but may not like the responsibility that goes with getting older. Often they have to be reminded to carry out homework responsibilities or household chores. Learning self-discipline is an ongoing process that improves each year.School-agers often set standards for themselves that are frustratingly high or unsatisfyingly low. Youth this age have not had much experience in setting and achieving goals or in measuring their own strengths and weaknesses. They need adults to provide experiences that are challenging yet achievable. National Network for Child Care - NNCC. Oesterreich, L. (1995). Guidance and discipline. In L. Oesterreich, B. Holt, & S. Karas, Iowa family child care handbook [Pm 1541] (pp. 227-234). Ames, IA: Iowa State University

18. Guidance Techniques The National After School Association’s position on the use of positive guidance techniques is: • Staff give attention to youth when they cooperate, share, care for materials or join in activities. • avoid using insincere praise. • don’t use threats to control behavior • staff celebrate youth’s efforts and progress • Staff set appropriate limits for youth • If youth bully, scapegoat, or tease staff step in • staff avoid setting unrealistic limits • limits are set to prevent youth from hurting themselves

19. Guidance Techniques • Staff use no harsh discipline methods • staff do not shame, hit, kick, pinch, withhold food, scare, threaten, slap, or restrain youth • staff do not punish the whole group because of the actions of one child • staff avoid correcting youth publicly or making them apologize • Staff encourage youth to resolve their own conflicts. Staff step in only if needed to discuss the issues and work out a solution. • staff do not impose their solutions on youth • staff help youth see how their behavior affects others • staff teach youth specific skills to work through a problem

20. Caregiver Styles • Authoritarian • set strict rules to try to keep order • critical of youth • do not provide youth with choices or options • Permissive • few rules • rules not enforced • not set boundaries • Authoritative • help youth learn to be responsible for themselves • set clear/reasonable expectations for youth • give choices based on a child's ability Which one are you? Adapted from:http://pediatrics.about.com/od/infantparentingtips/a/04_pntg_styles.htm

21. Guidance Techniques The following are guidance techniques that are encouraged for you to use: • Natural/Logical Consequences - effective in helping youth see the connection between their actions and the results of their behavior. example – Child spills their milk, they help to clean itup • Conflict Resolution - Sometimes youth have a behavioral problem that seems to happen over and over. When nothing seems to be working, try the who, what, when, where, and how method. Ask yourself, "When does the troublesome behavior seem to happen? What happens just before and after? Where does it happen and with whom? How do I usually respond? How could I prevent the behavior? What other approaches could I use?" Take time to sit down and think about the problem. It can help you find a more successful way to handle things.

22. Guidance Techniques • Humor – Make the youth laugh or find humor in what happened to lighten the mood. • Redirection - Sometimes the problem with behavior is not what the youth is doing as much as how she is doing it. When this happens, you may need to redirect or teach the child to do it in a different way. • Role Playing – You allow the youth to reenact a situation in front of an audience so they can better understand their behavior

23. Guidance Techniques • Peace Table – Quiet, out of the way place where the youth can go to work out their problem together with limited adult help. • Choices – Letting youth have a choice or perceived power in the situations they are involved in. • Ignore - Behavior that is not harmful to the youth or others can be ignored. The goal is to have them stop the undesirable behavior by not paying attention to it.

24. Conflict Resolution The following steps are an intervention technique when a youth has lost his cool! 1. Stop Them – you need to be physically near them to help them not hurt someone else. Try to look at the situation to see what may have caused the misbehavior. 2. Say No – While you are stopping the youth, say no. This may divert their attention away from the other youth. Offer positive choices, “like you can do this” or “next time try this”. 3. Get Physically Close – Telling them to stop from a distance isn’t going to help. Go over to them and use a gentle touch. Get to their eye level. 4. Stay Calm Yourself – It doesn’t help the situation to de-escalate if you are worked up also. You may say or do something that shouldn’t happen. Also you are a model for appropriate behavior. 5. Allow the Anger, but not the Hurting – Every youth has a right to their feelings. But what they do with those feelings may not be appropriate. You can let them know, “I see that you are mad, but hitting isn’t the answer”. 6. Problem Solve – When the youth is calm, discuss what happened, and help them to arrive at solutions that he/she could use the next time. Adapted from: What do you do with the mad that you feel, Family Communications, Mister Rogers Neighborhood, Child Care Partnership

25. Conflict Resolution Another way to quickly help multiple youth problem solve together is: Step 1 – Have the youth face each other and stop and think. Give them a time to chill out. Staff response - “Debbie and Austin let’s take some time to calm down.” Step 2 – Have each youth tell each other how they feel about what happened. Staff Response – “Debbie, you go first, tell Austin how you feel, Austin you can say how you feel after she is done.” Debbie - “I don’t like it when you think you are so smart and tell me what to do. It makes me feel dumb.” Austin – “Yeah, well you think you do everything so good and know all the answers. You don’t listen to me.” Step 3 – Have youth listen to how the other child felt. The staff will re-iterate what the child said. Staff Response - “Austin, it seems like Debbie is saying that she would like to try her way first, then maybe get help from you.” “Debbie, it sounds like Austin is just trying to help you and knows another way to do it.”

26. Conflict Resolution Step 4 – Brainstorm and discuss how to solve the problem. Staff Response – “What can we do about this”, or “How can you react the next time this happens.” Debbie – “I can ask for help if I need it, or listen to what Austin has to say and then decide what I want to do.” Austin – “I can ask her if she wants help first, before saying I know how to fix it” Step 5 – Agree on an idea Staff Response – “You both have good suggestions, which would you like to try next time” Debbie – “I want him to ask me first if he should help” Austin – “I can do that” Step 6 – If the youth have come to an agreement, have them shake hands and go on with their play. If not, start over at the first step and try again.

27. With a Youth: Activities Print out the “Solving Conflict” worksheet from the PDF that goes with this course. Using slides 21-26, choose a guidance technique that you will use in your program. Try it out then evaluate how it went. Using the second page, “Behavioral Summary”, examine reasons for the possible root cause of the misbehavior.

28. Key Points Discipline and Punishment are not synonymous Practicing different methods of guidance will help you feel confident in your role in helping youth learn self control There is always a reason for youth’s misbehavior, you just need to look for it The are no right or wrong ways to guide youth’s behavior, the “best” ways are the ones that work for you as a caregiver.

29. With a Supervisor: Self Assessment • Print the self assessment from the PDF that goes with this course. After completing the assessment, plan a time to meet with your supervisor and discuss your answers. Devise a plan to help you become more skilled in any areas you aren’t familiar with.

30. References National Network for Child Care - NNCC. Oesterreich, L. (1995). Guidance and discipline. In L. Oesterreich, B. Holt, & S. Karas, Iowa family child care handbook [Pm 1541] (pp. 227-234). Ames, IA: Iowa State University National Afterschool Association Contact Information: 1821 University Ave West – Suite S-298 St. Paul, MN 55104 Phone: 651-646-8689 Fax: 651-646-4514 professionaldevelopment@mnaeyc.org http://pediatrics.about.com/od/infantparentingtips/a/04_pntg_styles.htm

31. Congratulations You have successfully completed Module 2