Focus

1. Focus The key to clear, coherent writing

2. A precise focus gives writing its meaning. Writing that lacks a clear focus feels unmoored, more like an extended anecdote than a complete story. Readers don’t know what they are meant to notice. Even if the story is enjoyable, it probably won’t be memorable. • Focus is one of the most difficult elements to master, because it requires us to think and write precisely. • A focused story contains no unnecessary digressions. • Every element relates to the thesis. • Story details are controlled and limited by the focus (or thesis). • To determine focus, look for: • Patterns – notice patterns in meaning or thought • Repetition – look for repeated words, ideas, images • Weight – notice how much space and emotional punch you’ve given to each section. Does one section stand out? Focus

3. If you’re having trouble determining your focus, reread your story closely – or ask a friend to read. Often, simply by analyzing the work, observing which sections are most interesting to you, the writer, you’ll pinpoint your focus. If you’re still having trouble: • In the margins of your story or essay, jot down the main point of every paragraph. • On a separate sheet of paper, list these points. • Has a pattern emerged? Does every paragraph develop one main idea? If so, you’ve discovered your focal point. If not, choose the idea that appeals to you most, then eliminate every sentence that does not in some way develop that idea. • A single subject or ideais not enough; the idea must have a slant that relates to a broader meaning. Journalists call this an angle. • Subject = stray dogs. • Significant detail pertaining to subject = stray dogs bite people. • Angle = [To prevent stray dogs from biting] we should impose leash laws. • Once you have a focused idea, a main point with a slant, select details to shape and clarify. How to Find Focus

4. Here is a brief passage about a neighborhood. What is the main point? • I live in a safe neighborhood. Small colonial houses sit on manicured lots and kids play on jungle gyms in the backyard. Of all the streets in town, ours is by far the prettiest, and has the lowest incidence of crime. Most families have lived on the street for many years, and everyone knows everyone else’s name. We care about each other, as if we’re a family. Every summer we throw a huge block party, with home-cooked food and lots of games for the kids, a fun day filled with laughter and good times. Because we’re so tight, we know when something’s awry, and we always look out for each other. If a family goes on vacation, the rest of us watch over their house and report any strange activity to the police. The day Mrs. Oglvey, our eighty-nine-year-old neighbor, fell and broke her hip, my mother spent all afternoon making phone calls, trying to locate Mrs. O’schildren. This proves we take care of our own. Our vigilance has paid off, by preventing crime and keeping criminals out of our neighborhood. • If you scanned the passage, because the points are loosely related – and because I’ve written thesis-style opening and closing sentences - you may not have noticed that the story often digresses. Reading closely, you probably wondered or if there was a point. Or perhaps you wondered which point you were supposed to notice and remember. Finding the main point

5. Here’s the same passage. This time, the thesis is: neighborhood vigilance pays off. I live in a safe neighborhood. Small colonial houses sit on manicured lots and kids play on jungle gyms in the backyard. Of all the streets in town, ours is by far the prettiest, and has the lowest incidence of crime. Most families have lived on the street for many years, and everyone knows everyone else’s name. We care about each other, as if we’re a family. Every summer we throw a huge block party, with home-cooked food and lots of games for the kids, a fun day filled with laughter and good times.Because we’re so tight, we know when something’s awry, and we always look out for each other. If a family goes on vacation, the rest of us watch over their house and report any strange activity to the police. The day Mrs. Oglvey, our eighty-nine-year-old neighbor, fell and broke her hip, my mother spent all afternoon making phone calls, trying to locate Mrs. O’schildren. That proveswe take care of our own.Our vigilance has paid off, by preventing crime and keeping criminals out of our neighborhood. I live in a safe neighborhood. Of all the streets in town, ours has the lowest incidence of crime. Most families have lived on the street for many years, and everyone knows everyone else’s name. We care about each other, as if we’re a family. Because we’re so tight, we know when something’s awry, and we always look out for each other. If a family goes on vacation, the rest of us watch over their house and report any strange activity to the police. Our vigilance has paid off, by preventing crime and keeping criminals out of our neighborhood. • With further development – by adding description, examples, or quotes, for instance - this 99-word passage could easily become a 500 – 750 word essay or blog post. Compare

6. Here I’ve stripped down and reorganized the passage and added observations. Notice how I’ve shifted my focus to the value of neighborhood connection: Sometimes I feel as ifI live in the fictional town of Mayberry, a lovely neighborhood, strangely out of touch with the times. Small colonial houses sit on manicured lots and kids play on jungle gyms in their yards. Most of the families have lived on the street for many years, and everyone knows everyone else’s name. We care about each other, as if we’re family. Every summer we throw a huge block party, with home-cooked food and lots of games for the kids, a day filled with laughter and fun. There are few neighborhoods like this anymore. These days, most people are too busy to take the time to get to know their neighbors or connect with them.* Ours isn’t the priciest, newest, or most fashionable street in town. But the people who live here care about each other. I’ll take that any day of the week. • *Here, I’d explain why this is a loss and add an example or two to show why neighborhood connections are important. The details, examples and information I’d add here would be determined by my slant on the importance of neighborhood connection. The reference to Mayberry – the fictional town in the 60s TV sitcoms, The Andy Griffith Showand Mayberry R.F.D., suggests a nostalgic slant, as does the opening sentence. I’d also look at what I’ve already written.The second paragraph and the ending talk about people caring for one another. Together, these clues suggest a slant having to do with the loss of connection, evidenced in a culture where everyone is too busy—perhaps for good reason—to tend to things that matter. Same place, similar details, different focus and story

7. If you’re having trouble focusing a story or essay, the following exercise will help you gain clarity! • Reread your story or essay, paying close attention to the details. Ask yourself: • What is this story about? • What is the main point I wish to get across? • What do I hope readers take from this story? • The responses to the questions above - they’re really just different ways of asking the same question – should lead you to your main point. • What drives the story forward? • What is the main conflict? What problem do you address or solve? What is at stake? Where do forces collide. • What are the specific pieces/parts to the story? • How does each part relate to the whole? • How do the parts relate toeach other? • Does every detail clarify onemain idea? • Where have I digressed or given too much information? Exercise: Focus