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Anger Management. Different styles & Determining Which is Best. Why Do People Get Angry?. During the teen years there are a lot of hormonal changes happening…these can cause mood swings & confused emotions. Stress! People under a lot of pressure tend to get angry more easily.
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Anger Management Different styles & Determining Which is Best
Why Do People Get Angry? • During the teen years there are a lot of hormonal changes happening…these can cause mood swings & confused emotions. • Stress! People under a lot of pressure tend to get angry more easily. • Personality- some people feel emotions intensely or may tend to act impulsively & lose control. • Role Models- a person who is often around others who blow a fuse when feeling mad are likely to respond in the same way.
Something to keep in mind… ANGER is a normal emotion, there’s nothing wrong with feeling mad. What COUNTS is how we handle it & ourselves, when we’re angry.
What are the 3 Different Ways in Which a Person May Choose to Handle Anger? • “Stuffing” or “Keeping it in” • “Escalating” or “Letting it out” • “Managing”
What are the 3 Different Ways in Which a Person May Choose to Handle Anger? 1. “Stuffing” or “Keeping it in” - A PASSIVE style of coping with anger. - Not allowing yourself to express anger in an open way. “Stuffers” may not admit to themselves or to others that they are angry.
Why Might a Person Choose to “Stuff”Anger? • Fear of hurting/ offending someone • Fear of being disliked or rejected • Feeling it’s inappropriate to be angry • Feeling unable to cope with such a strong emotion. • Fear of damaging/ losing a relationship • It is a learned behavior (but it can be unlearned).
Problems with “Stuffing” • Anger will eventually come out • Hurts relationships • Affects state of wellness • Person may turn the anger inward (on to themselves) & hurt oneself physically. • May turn to risky behaviors to get out anger (unhealthy eating, picking fights, use of alcohol & other drugs)
What are the 3 Different Ways in Which a Person May Choose to Handle Anger? 2. “Escalating” or “Letting it Out” - An AGGRESSIVE style of coping with anger. - A heated, extreme reaction to a situation. “Escalators” blame and shame the “provoker.”“Escalating” often leads to hurtful situations.
Why Might a Person Choose to “Escalate”? • Feeling “I have no other choice”. • To demonstrate an image of power. • To avoid expressing underlying emotions. • It’s the only response he/she has been taught. • Lack of communication skills.
Problems with “Escalating” • Desired results may be short-term • Could result in the destruction of property • Hurts relationships • Affects state of wellness • May result in legal problems or disciplinary action in school.
What are the 3 Different Ways in Which a Person May Choose to Handle Anger? 3. “Managing” or “Dealing With It” - An ASSERTIVE style of coping with anger situations. - The MOST EFFECTIVE style A person who “MANAGES” his/her anger is able to move in a positive direction.
Why Choosing to “Manage”One’s Anger is the BEST Choice? • Shows SELF-AWARENESS- the ability to notice what you’re feeling and thinking, and why. • Shows SELF-CONTROL- thinking before you act. • You are more likely to be listened to & respected. • Your desired outcome is more likely to occur. • Better chance of preventing a conflict.
How Can I Express Anger Directly & Constructively? • 1st- give yourself permission to feel anger. • 2nd- Identify what you’re angry about & why. Put into words what’s making you upset so you can act rather than react. • 3rd- Think of potential solutions & consequences before responding (Think “B” & “E” of IBEAR). • Be aware of your body language • Avoid attacking or blaming • Focus on the SPECIFIC behavior that TRIGGERED your anger. • Avoid statements that you’ll regret later. • Consider possible COMPROMISES.
In What Other Healthy Ways Can a Person Cope with Anger? Refer to Attached Handout.