Welcome to Big Brothers Big Sisters BIGS Orientation

1. Welcome to Big Brothers Big Sisters BIGS Orientation

2. Thank you for your interest in becoming a Big!

3. BBBS Programs MINIMUM ONE YEAR COMMITMENT for the following programs: • Community Based-BIGS spend 2- 4 times a month with their Little doing fun activities • Amachi- Seeking mentors for children of an incarcerated parent. • Project Big- This program helps 4th and 5th students at Berryhill, Bruns Ave, Hidden Valley, Reid Park, and Westerly Hills elementary focus on academics and positive achievement in school. • School Based – BIGS meet at a local Elementary School during the school day once a week

4. AMACHI LITTLE • Struggles with trust issues • Struggles with judgment against incarcerated parent/unconditional love. • May have extremely low self-esteem • May feel they are destined to follow the path of their parents and/or disadvantaged, partly from outside influences or their own perception • May struggle with feelings of hopelessness Children of incarcerated parents are 70% more likely to be incarcerated themselves……Unless,…

5. Amachi Big [Volunteer] • Give a sense of hope for a brighter future by empowering them to make choices that will lead to a less limited future. • Give extra attention because of the contributing factors with an Amachi child. • Disapprove the assumptions and stereotypes

6. Project Big… Pick students up from home Partner with parents for child’s success Not a tutor/teacher assistant Can assist with school work Can communicate with teachers School Liaison present Communities in Schools can assist with school or community issues

7. SCHOOLBASED BIGS… No contact outside of school Not a tutor/teacher assistant Can assist with school work Honor school rules/agency rules Activity bin provided with games- have fun! Can communicate with teachers School Liaison present

8. Volunteer Enrollment Process

9. Big Brothers Big Sisters Staff • Enrollment and Match Specialist (EMS): Your EMS will guide you through the enrollment process and help make the best match possible for you. • Once accepted into program will contact you every 90 days until matched. • Match Support Specialist (MSS): Your MSS will be your liaison to the agency after you meet your Little. • Will contact you every 30 days during your first year being matched to ensure that the match is going well and answer any questions you may have.

10. ROLE OF A BIG

11. EXPECTATIONS OF A BIG • Be consistent • Visit 2-4 times a month and maintain regular communication with Little, his/her parent/ guardian • Monthly communication with Match Support Specialist, update if contact information changes • Listen, have fun, take time to get know this new person • Be involved and participate in agency activities • If problems occur contact Match Support Specialist

12. WHAT A BIG IS • Must be a friend • Is consistent and dependable • Is flexible • Puts a child’s safety and well-being first • Takes an interest in his/her Little’s life

13. WHAT A BIG IS NOT • A parent /guardian substitute • Financial support – it is everyone’s responsibility to pay their own way in the match. • A counselor or therapist • A babysitter • Transportation for the family

14. ROLE OF A PARENT

15. EXPECTATIONS OF A PARENT • Be consistent • Regularly communicate with his/her child’s Big and assigned Match Support Specialist • Work toward a solution for any issues that arise and make sure the agency is aware of the issues • Arrange to pay for his/her child’s expenses for match activities

16. UNDERSTANDING OUR LITTLES • All of our Bigs and Families come from different cultural and socio-economic backgrounds. This is a great experience for celebrating diversity and learning about a culture that may be different than yours.

17. PARTNERING WITH PARENTS • Working with single family homes • Social economic characteristics • Stereotyping/Judging

18. Big Brothers Big Sisters staff members are required to report any suspected abuse or neglect of a child. Our staff are trained to respond if a child tells them about abuse. If you have any further questions or would like more information on violence prevention, please don’t hesitate to ask our staff for additional resources. Reporting of Child Abuse and Neglect If at any time you suspect that your child is being harmed, please contact your MSS for support.

19. AGES & STAGES 5-7 year olds

20. Ages and Stages 5-7 year olds • Eager to learn, easily fatigued, short periods of interest • Are very active and need frequent breaks from tasks. They like to do things that are fun and involve use of energy • Can be very competitive. May cheat at games • Are alert to feelings of others, but are unaware of how their own actions affect others • Have difficulty making decisions

21. AGES & STAGES 8-10 year olds

22. Ages and Stages 8-10 year olds • Interested in people, aware of differences, willing to give more to others but expects more • Are very active and need frequent breaks from tasks to do things that are fun for them and involve use of energy • Being accepted by friends becomes quite important • Are very sensitive to praise and recognition. Feelings are hurt easily • Wide discrepancies in reading ability

23. Child Safety Seatbelt and Child Safety Seat State Law Requirements • There is a NC law that requires children under 8 years old or under 80 pounds to ride in a safely seat or booster seat. Kids must be secured with both a shoulder and lap belt combination. The penalty for not having a child in a booster seat will be a $25 fine, $100 court fees, and 2 driver's license points. If you have any questions or concerns, or you would like your Match Support Specialist to contact your Little’s parent/guardian regarding this matter, please let them know • If your Little is under 12 years old, they must sit in the backseat of your vehicle with a secured seatbelt

24. AGES & STAGES 11- 13 year olds

25. Ages and Stages 11-13 year olds • Testing limits – Know-it-all attitude • Are very concerned with their appearance and are very self-conscious about growth • Being accepted by friends becomes quite important • Can encounter conflicts between friend’s rules and parent’s rules • Want more independence

26. AGES & STAGES 14-16 year olds

27. Ages and Stages 14-16 year olds • Vulnerable, emotionally insecure, fear of rejection, mood swings • Very concerned with their appearance and are self-conscious about growth • Feel a real need to conform • Are caught between being a child and an adult • Can better understand moral principles

28. Child Safety • There are no overnight visits allowed during the first year you are matched. After you have been matched one year an overnight consent form is required prior to an overnight visit • Information about your Little and their family is to be kept between you, the family and your MSS • Review all medical issues, allergies and illnesses with your Little’s parent/guardian • Be careful of becoming overly involved with your Little and their family- ensure you follow BBBS guidelines • Do not sign consent forms on behalf of parents, even with verbal permission

29. Child Safety • The following activities are considered unusual and require the unusual consent form prior to the activity. • Swimming • Boating • Horseback riding • Out of Town • Flying • Motorcycle riding/ ATV’S • Backpacking • Camping • Repelling • Building • Rock Climbing • Zip line

30. Child Safety • If you suspect your Little is in danger, outside of 8am-5pm Monday-Friday, contact the police • Child states will hurt self • Child states will hurt someone else • Child shares that they are being hurt by someone • BIGS are required by law to report any suspicions of abuse to BBBS • BBBS reports all suspicions to DSS • If your Little discloses abuse, listen. Do not question them, this can effect any investigation • BBBS is not trained to investigate abuse

31. Working with Match Support • Contacts Made: • In-person • Phone • e-mail • letter • Surveys • Returned to MSS with-in one week • Trainings • Hot Topics • Activities • Notice through e-mail • Flyers • Web Page • Bigs only section with activity ideas and updates • Contact MSS for username and password

32. Reasons Files Close • Failure to return/respond to telephone calls/e-mails from your EMS by the deadline • Missed two scheduled appointment • Missed a scheduled match twice • Failure to submit necessary paperwork • Application denied due to failure to meet BBBSGC guidelines • Other

33. Scenarios

34. Scenario 1 Answers • The situation can be resolved by having a discussion with Grandmother and Little Sister explaining that Kim’s time has become limited and she can only spend the BBBS required time with her.(2-4 times per month) • The situation could have been avoided by discussing the situation with Match Support Specialist and following program guidelines. • It is not healthy to become overly involved because can lead to unrealistic expectations by both the caregiver and Little. Kim and Anita, age 14 have been matched for 9 months. The match has been going very well and Kim not only loves her Little Sister but her Little Sister’s Grandmother who takes care of her. Grandma and Anita have very few resources and do without many extras. Grandmother is often sick and Anita has nothing to do. Over time, Kim has been taking Anita out more and more. She has also gotten her some new school clothes and thrown a big birthday party. Kim called her Match Support Specialist to say she is getting overwhelmed by the time she is putting into the match. She said she has been busy with her job and her husband. She loves her match but finds it harder and harder to see them. Can this be resolved? How could this have been avoided?

35. Scenario 2 Answers • The problem: • Per BBBS guidelines a parent is not to share personal issues/concerns with the Big that do not pertain to the child and the match. • Communication is key and issues should be reported immediately to Match Support Specialist • What can be done now: • Contact Match Support Specialist who will refresh the match on program guidelines • Big can discuss with parent that his role is to be a friend and support for the Little Frank and Bobby, age 10 have been matched for six months. Their match has been fun and seemingly alright. Frank has avoided communication as much as possible with Bobby’s mother because she is always unloading her family problems on him. This made Frank very uncomfortable. The mother felt Frank didn’t care for her, or respect her. Neither Frank nor the mother had ever said anything about this to their Match Support Specialist for fearing of causing trouble. Both thought the problem would correct it’s self in time. What do you think that problem is? What can be done now?

36. We hope you found this training to be informative. Please feel free to write down any questions you have, and discuss with your Enrollment and Match Specialist during your interview. • Please complete the quiz sent via e-mail and bring it to your interview along with your completed enrollment paperwork. Thank you. We look forward to working with you and your Little!