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The Body of a feature story. Warm-Up. Write lead and nut graph from UIL prompt. Call me over to check your work when you are finished. After the lead . . . Use the transition/quote formula It is okay to have 2 -3 transitions in a row but you still can not have stacked quotes!
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Warm-Up • Write lead and nut graph from UIL prompt. • Call me over to check your work when you are finished.
After the lead . . . • Use the transition/quote formula • It is okay to have 2 -3 transitions in a row but you still can not have stacked quotes! • Can use said or says • Still identify by first and last name on first mention • Can use first name after first mention
The lead and nut graph He heard the shot and then felt the pain, but only for a moment. Within seconds, junior Jeb Smith blacked out and went into shock. “I don’t remember much of the shooting,” he said. “I remember it felt like someone punched their first right through my face, but then I went black.” Last summer, Jeb’s five-year-old brother accidentally shot him in the face with his father’s loaded .57-magnum. Jeb lost his right eye and part of his right ear in the accident but suffered no permanent brain damage. “I was extremely lucky,” Jeb said. “The doctor said the bullet missed my brain by an inch. I still have a long way to go with my reconstructive surgery, but I am glad I am alive.”
Jeb still needs four more surgeries, but none of them will help him regain his sight. “I am glad that they are going to make me look more like my old self,” Jeb said. “But I am upset about my eye. I wanted to be a pilot and not that dream is shattered.” Jeb said his little brother, Shane, found the gun in his father’s dresser bureau on that summer day. “I think he was just curious,” Jeb said. “I didn’t think the gun was loaded so I just told him to put it away. And then, bam, my life changed forever.” Right after the gun went off, Shane ran to the neighbor’s house to get help, Jeb said. “My little brother was scared, but he was also smart,” Jeb said. “He knew I needed help and he knew Lucy, our neighbor, was home. She came over and immediately called for an ambulance.”
What makes a good feature? • Great quotes • A strong lead • Follows the transition/quote formula • A unique angle • Description – show, don’t tell • Specific details
Flow • “A unified story expresses one main point, and all information in the story develops or drives that point. More importantly, the writing flows in a logical order, with each sentence and each paragraph building upon the one before it and setting up the one to come.”
Creating flow in stories • Transitions should elaborate on the direct quote that comes after the transition – they must be connected! • Introduce subject speaking in quote • Give background on subject of quote • Make a connection between 2 quotes
Order • The best narratives are usually told in chronological order • Lead – present tense • Nut graph – main point of story • Tell story in chronological order • Conclusion – bring back to present tense/lead
Types of Transitions • What are the 3? • Indirect quotes • Partial quotes • Facts • Types of Facts: • Description • Statistics • Specific details • Timeline of events
More on transitions • Here’s a good trick: • Take the first part of a quote and make it an indirect quote for a transition • Take the second part of a quote and make it a direct quote • When using indirect quotes as transitions, the indirect quotes should have the same speaker as the direct quote that follows it
Transitions are not . . . • A collection of random, unrelated facts • A repeat of the information in the direct quote • The transition gives the fact and the direct quote gives the opinion or the explanation
Endings • A powerful quote • Tie the ending back to the lead • A combination of both
Examples – Powerful Quote “Don’t be mad. I took some pills,” Karen Keaton cried as she stooped over the toilet. A few hours later, the 14-year-old freshman died after a series of coronary arrests. Ending: Since the death of her oldest daughter, the Keatons have found themselves becoming more protective. “I find myself watching for things,” Mrs. Keaton said. “I’m not sure for what. I’m just watching.”
Powerful Quote 2 A group of candy strippers stand around the nursery, holding incubator babies. It’s “loving time.” Another young girl steps in with her mother and picks up a baby, too. She is not in a uniform, but in a hospital gown, for the baby she holds is her own – and it’s her “loving time.” It’s also time to say good-bye. “I sat in that rocker and held him and rocked him and I cried and cried and cried,” Amber, a senior, said. “I wanted that moment to last forever so I could always hold him and always be there for him.” “But I knew I couldn’t. That’s what hurt.” Ending: This was evident as she stated the one word that described the whole ordeal. “Pain,” she said, tears streaming down her cheeks and falling onto her sweater. “True pain.”
“A Boy of Unusual Vision” • “There was never a moment when Ethel Stanley said to herself, “My son is blind and this is how I’m going to handle it.” • Now, the moment: Calvin is standing in front . . . There was another moment, years ago, when Calvin’s mother and father knew that the operation had not helped, that their son was probably never going to see. “Well, said the father, trying to comfort the mother, “we’ll do what we have to do and Calvin will be fine.” He is. And so are they.
“The Anxious Homecoming” • It’s starting over in a new place with new neighbors. In a bigger house, but one without the sun porch where you used to sit in the morning and drink coffee and watch the birds. In a house that is not yet a home. • They sit for dinner, dining off Styrofoam boxes and sipping from plastic cups, their first meal in their new home. Pat, Ronnie, Vick, Vikki and Grandma Dot join hands and bow their heads. “Heavenly Father,” Pat begins, “thank you for getting us through this storm and getting this house for us.” She pauses. “. . .and don’t let this happen to anyone, again.”
New Attribution Rules • It is okay to use the first name only after first mention • Still give full name on first mention • It is okay to use says instead of said • Says makes the story seem more ongoing • Can occasionally add to attribution
60 Minutes Stories • What is the number one rule of 60 Minutes? • They don’t cover issues. • They cover stories. • Every story must feature a captivating central character • Characters must be able to speak clearly • “Acid rain isn’t a story. It’s a subject. Tell me a story about somebody whose life was ruined by acid rain, or about a community trying to do something about acid rain, but don’t tell me about acid rain.” • Don Hewitt, 60 Minutes producer