Unhealthy Relationships

1. Unhealthy Relationships Situations and factors that are associated with or could lead to unhealthy relationships

2. Violence • A physical force that is used to harm people or damage property. Factors that can lead to violence include : • Feeling threatened • Unmanaged anger • Lack of respect • Bullying • Gangs • Sexual harassment

3. Bullying • Aggressive behavior • Intended to hurt, control, intimidate or humiliate • Usually escalates over time • By someone who has more power than the targeted person • Can be in written, verbal, electronic or physical expression

4. Cyberbullying… Cyberbullying involves using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies, cell phones or other electronic devices to engage in written, verbal or physical expression that has the effect of harming someone.

5. Cyberbullying… • Cyberbullying is usually not a one time occurrence but constant harassment. Because of the constant role technology plays in our lives, it is often difficult for victims to escape from cyberbullies. • If you or someone you know is being cyberbullied: • Don’t respond • Don’t retaliate • Talk to a trusted adult • Save the evidence • Block the bully • Be a friend, not a bystander

6. Bullying…AISD AISD expands on bullying as… • … having the effect of physically harming a student, damaging a student’s property or placing a student in reasonable fear of harm. • … being sufficiently severe, persistent, and pervasive that the action or threat creates an intimidating, threatening or abusive educational environment for a student.

7. Where do you see bullying? We have all witnessed bullying in a wide variety of places, but do you ever notice who is being bullied or what they are being bullied for? • People can be bullied for many reasons, however, the most common reasons people are bullied are due to: • Gender • Race • Religion • Sexual Orientation

8. Bullying prevention… • Many schools provide support for students who are being bullied or discipline for those who bully, but limit their outreach to these two groups. • An often overlooked audience is the students who witness bullying— the peer bystanders. Because they make up the majority, they can be influential in changing the social climate of a school.

9. Bullying prevention… • Peer bystanders, more than adults, are in a unique situation to send targets of bullying the crucial message that it is not their fault and nothing is “wrong” with them. • Bystanders can provide support for youth who bully others by having a positive impact as well-behaved, well-respected peers who want to connect with them. • Bystanders can be personally affected by witnessing bullying— it can teach an important lesson, which will hopefully lead them to act positively and effectively in the future.

10. Ways to Stop Bullying • Don’t participate by not passing on rumors, not standing and watching or recording and posting on-line when someone is being bullied. • Intervene yourself (if it is safe to do so) or with friends by speaking up, or get an adult. • Report incidents to teachers, parents, or other authorities. • Let people know that you don’t respect people who mistreat other people. • Support the one being bullied.

11. Gangs… • A GANG is a group of peers who claim a territory. • Gangs continue to be a major public safety threat because they are often associated with crimes and violence.

12. Gangs… • Gangs intentionally recruit teenagers because young people are very susceptible to peer pressure. • It can be difficult for a teen to understand the harm that joining a gang can bring if they are worried about losing their friends. • A teen might feel immense pressures to join a gang if their parents, older siblings, or most of their friends are gang members, or if they come from a neighborhood where they are “expected” to join a gang.

13. Keys to staying Gang Free… • Learn to deal with peer pressure and practice saying, “NO.” • Choose your friends wisely. • Get involved with positive activities such as sports, afterschool programs, volunteer work, or job training. • Learn to distinguish between positive and negative influences at school and at home. ex. Positive role models

14. Sexual Harassment • Unwanted and unwelcome sexual behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable, offends you, hurts your reputation, frightens or threatens you and interferes with your ability to get an education or participate in school activities • Sexual harassment: • Is defined by the target • Is a violation of school rules, state and federal law • 81% of students experience some form of sexual harassment during their school lives and 27% experience it often (AAUW, 2004).

15. Examples • Sexual advances • Touching intimate body parts or coercing physical contact that is sexual in nature • Jokes or conversations of a sexual nature • Other sexually motivated conduct, communications, or contact AISD Policy on Discrimination, Harassment and Retaliation

16. When does flirting becomesexual harassment?

17. WHAT IS SEXTING? Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between cell phones.

18. THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT SEXTING… Images sent by mobile phone can easily fall into the wrong hands, and once posted online, may never really go away. It is illegal to take sexual photos of minors, and it is also a crime to pass them on. Sexting can lead to public humiliation, cyberbullyingor even sexual assault. Others may copy and post your images in other places online where friends, parents, teachers can see them. THINKbefore you hit SEND!

19. THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT SEXTING… • Sextinglaws in Texas state that: • “You are illegally engaging in sexting if you – knowingly or on purpose – send, forward or keep a picture or video of a minor – including yourself – engaging in ‘sexual conduct’.” • Penalties for sexting in Texas can range from: • A Class C misdemeanor with up to a $500 fine. • A Class A misdemeanor, for repeat offenders, with up to a $4,000 fine and one year in jail.

20. Did you know… 1 in 5 teen girls and boys (20%) say they have electronically sent or posted online nude or suggestive images of themselves.

21. 40% of young people say “pressure from guys” is a reason girls and women send/post sexual messages and images. 20% of young people say “pressure from friends” is a reason guys send/post sexual messages and images.

22. Consequences of Sexting • Psychological-stress, fear, shame, guilt • Legal-child pornography charges, sexual harassment, attorney fees • Emotional-sad, embarrassed, feeling used • Social-being labeled, judged, comments, rumors

23. Is sexting sexual harassment? Yes, if it makes you feel uncomfortable in a sexual way.

24. WHAT IS PHYSICAL ABUSE Any unwanted contact with the other person’s body. Physical abuse does not have to leave a mark or a bruise. • Slapping • Kicking • Choking • Spitting • Pinching • Burning • Pulling Hair • Scratching • Biting • Pushing • Punching • Shoving • Strangling • Physical Restraint

25. VERBAL / EMOTIONAL ABUSE Saying or doing something that causes another person to be afraid, have lower self-esteem, or manipulates or controls their feelings or behaviors. This can include online posts or digital communications designed to threaten, harass, or embarrass. Insulting the person or his/her family or friends Telling the person what to do Name calling Yelling or screaming Making the person feel guilty Threatening to commit suicide Embarrassing the person in front of others Intimidating the person Spreading negative rumors about the person Put downs

26. Dating Violence Dating violence occurs when one partner in a dating relationship, either past or current, intentionally uses physical, sexual, verbal or emotional abuse to harm, threaten, intimidate, or control the other partner. AISD Policy on Discrimination, Harassment and Retaliation

27. Dating Violence… Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) teens that have been in a dating relationship experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, or threats of physical harm to a partner or self. 1 in 3 teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, or physically hurt by a partner. 45% of teen girls know someone who has been pressured or forced into having intercourse or oral sex.

28. Consent =Yes Both people freely and willingly agree to engage in a specific sexual activity by stating their mutual understanding and agreement. A person who is drunk, drugged, unconscious, or mentally disabled is not legally able to consent to sexual contact. In Texas, children younger than 17 cannot legally consent to sex with someone more than 3 years older.

29. What is sexual assault? Any nonconsensual physical contact of a sexual nature including touching, kissing, sexual intercourse, rape, attempted rape and child molestation.

30. It does not always take physical force to sexually assault a victim. Threats and intimidation can make a victim feel afraid or unable to refuse the sexual activity. • Sexual assault happens across all socio-economic, age, gender, ethnicity and religious categories.

31. Children and Sexual Abuse • A form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation. • This can include: Touching Sexual intercourse Exposure Voyeurism Child pornography Forcing a child to engage in sex with others

32. Incest • Sexual contact between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal (e.g., parents and children, uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews, etc.)

33. Preventing Sexual Assault • Always respect your partner’s sexual limits. • Be a good friend. Never leave someone in a vulnerable situation, especially if they’ve been using substances that make them vulnerable. • Speak up or get help from an adult if you witness sexual harassment or are concerned about someone’s personal safety.

34. Help After Sexual Assault • Go to a safe place, away from further harm. • Call for help. • Don’t change anything about your body or environment. • Don’t go to the bathroom. • Don’t wash or comb your hair. • Don’t take a shower. • Don’t clean up. • Ask someone to take you to the hospital. • Contact a local crisis center. • Seek counseling and support.

35. Date Rape • “Date rape” happens when someone you know forces or manipulates you into having sex when you haven’t given consent. • It can happen between partners, on dates, or with friends or acquaintances.

36. Date Rape Drugs • The term "drug-facilitated sexual assault" is often used to describe the use of date rape drugs. • Some of the more common date rape drugs include: • Rohypnol • GHB • Ketamine

37. Effects of Date Rape Drugs • These drugs are very powerful. They can affect you very quickly and without your knowing. Alcohol makes the drugs even stronger and can cause serious health problems — even death. • Effects include: • Muscle relaxation • Loss of muscle control • Loss of consciousness • Drunk feeling • Nausea • Confusion • Problems talking

38. 1 in 5 women (20%) and 1 in 71 men (1.4%) are raped (completed and attempted) at some time in their life. • More than half (51%) of female victims reported being raped by an intimate partner and • 40.8% by an • acquaintance.

39. Protecting Yourself from Date Rape *If you don’t know the person, suggest group dates or dates in public places. *Let family and friends know where you are going and who you are with. *Don’t be alone with your date. *Do not accept drugs or alcohol. *Know where a phone is at all times. *Do not allow anyone to have an opportunity to put drugs in your beverage. *Be wary of meeting anyone on the internet. *Avoid situations and substances that may put you at risk of pressuring someone for sex. *Set limits and communicate these limits clearly and firmly ahead of time.

40. Cycle of violence

41. Cycle of Violence…Phase 1 • PHASE 1: • Tension Building: • Things start to get tense between the two people. In this phase: • The two people argue a lot. • • The abuser yells at the target for no reason. • • The abuser makes false accusations about the target. • • The target feels that she or he can’t do anything right. • • The atmosphere is tense, as if things could blow up at any moment. • In many abusive dating relationships, the physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse is not a one-time incident. It usually happens again and again.

42. Cycle of Violence…Phase 2 PHASE 2: Explosion: The tension is released in a burst of physical, sexual and/or verbal/emotional abuse. The abuser may: • Scream and yell in a way that is frightening and/or humiliating. • Hit, grab, shove, kick, slam the other person against the wall, etc. • Throw objects. • Threaten to hurt the other person or someone he or she cares about. • Rape the other person or force him or her to go further sexually than he or she wants to.

43. Cycle of Violence…Phase 3 PHASE 3: Honeymoon: The abuser tries to make the target stay in the relationship by apologizing and/or shifting the blame for the abuse onto someone or something else. The abuser may: • Apologize and promise that the abuse will never happen again. • Say “I love you.” • Buy the other person flowers or gifts. • Accuse the other person of doing something to cause the abuse. • Blame the abuse on other things such as alcohol, drugs or stress.

44. CYCLE OF VIOLENCE After the honeymoon phase: • The tension starts to build again, leading to another explosion. • Over time, the honeymoon phase may get shorter or even disappear, and the explosions may become more violent and dangerous. • Some targets of dating abuse never experience the honeymoon phase—just the tension building and explosion phases. • These phases do not happen in every abusive relationship. Someone may be experiencing dating abuse even if this pattern is not present THE CYCLE CONTINUES…. OVER and OVER AGAIN!!!