Interpersonal Attraction in Relationships and Work

1. Chapter 12 Interpersonal Relations: Relationships and Work

2. Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship • Propinquity and familiarity • Attractive features • Intelligence, personality, looks, talent, possessions • The “what is beautiful is good” stereotype • The “beauty is on the inside” effect • The pay advantage of physical attractiveness • The matching hypothesis in partner selection

4. Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship • Propinquity and familiarity • Attractive features • Intelligence, personality, looks, talent, possessions • The “what is beautiful is good” stereotype • The “beauty is on the inside” effect • The pay advantage of physical attractiveness • The matching hypothesis in partner selection

5. Interpersonal attraction: liking and friendship • Similarity and interpersonal attraction • Assortative mating on age, race, religious affiliation, SES, education, interests, sexual attitudes, background, and some personality traits • Do opposites attract? The complementarity notion

6. Love: different theoretical perspectives • Reinforcement-affect model: Byrne and Clore • Exchange versus communal relationships: Clark and Mills • Short-term equity is important in exchange relationships • Only long-term equity is important in communal relationships • Liking versus loving: strong need for affiliation, desire to help and benefit the other, sense of exclusiveness, passion

7. Love: different theoretical perspectives • Passionate love: appropriate and desirable love object, beliefs and expectations about love, heightened level of emotional arousal (example: The Dutton and Aron scary bridge study) • When love turns to anger: the arousal re-attribution hypothesis • From passionate love to companionate love • An integrative perspective: Sternberg’s love dimensions (passion, intimacy, decision/commitment)

8. Passionate love: a three-factor model Presence of an appropriate and attractive individual Cultural beliefs and expectations about love Physiological arousal that is interpreted and labeled as love Passionate Love

9. Dutton and Aron’s (1974) Two Bridges study Walk on the high suspension bridge Height induces fast heart rate Encounter the attractive woman High heart rate seems to indicate attraction 60% use the number and call her back Walk on the low stable bridge Heart rate is normal, not elevated Encounter the attractive woman No heightened arousal to misattribute as attraction to her Only 30% use her number to call her back

10. Love: different theoretical perspectives • Passionate love: appropriate and desirable love object, beliefs and expectations about love, heightened level of emotional arousal (example: The Dutton and Aron scary bridge study) • When love turns to anger: the arousal re-attribution hypothesis • From passionate love to companionate love • An integrative perspective: Sternberg’s love dimensions (passion, intimacy, decision/commitment)

11. Love: Sternberg’s (1987) perspective

12. Romance in the workplace • Office romances • The proximity factor • Trading attributes: youth and beauty for education, status, resources, age • Mixed motives: love motivation, ego motivation, job motivation • Romance and job performance: plusses and minuses • Guidelines for handling workplace romance

13. Job romance: three basic motives

14. Romance in the workplace • Office romances • The proximity factor • Trading attributes: youth and beauty for education, status, resources, age • Mixed motives: love motivation, ego motivation, job motivation • Romance and job performance: plusses and minuses • Guidelines for handling workplace romance

15. Romance in the workplace • Sexual harassment • Five categories: gender harassment, seductive behaviors, sexual bribery, sexual coercion, sexual assault • Widely varying estimates (35 to 90 per cent); only 10 per cent reported • Range of perceived harassment: 5 to 36 per cent in different work environments • Consequences of sexual harassment: low job satisfaction, psychological problems, health problems, absenteeism, desire to leave the job

16. Romance in the workplace • Sexual harassment • The organizational climate: the gender context, the tolerance context (ambient sexual harassment) • Dealing with sexual harassment: about 75% of companies have a written policy. Typical outcomes: 80% reprimand, 20% firing • Clear policy statement, procedures for filing and acting on complaints, procedures to protect privacy and confidentiality, use of third-parties, procedures for fact finding and action, counseling, prevention

17. Work and family relationships • Dual career couples • Distribution of household chores • Stress, mental and physical health concerns, daycare, guilt • Job sharing • Marital status and quality of life: married couples versus singles • Social support, mutual monitoring of health concerns • More stable lives with fewer risks • Less loneliness • Exceptions: distressed marriages, extreme lifestyles, unusual job demands

18. Work and family relationships • Single parents: extra demands • About 6% of the workforce are single parents • Extra demands: divorced or widowed status, reduced income, added responsibilities and stress, lack of social support, time constraints, child care issues • Solutions: after-school programs, single-partner support groups, flex time, telecommuting, job sharing • Work and home: the spillover effect

19. Aggression at work: destructive relationships • Homicides are the number-one cause of death at work (jealous husbands, disgruntled employees, rapes, theft). About 15% of all violent crime occurs in the workplace. • The causes of violence: frustration, failure to achieve a desired goal, stress, personal conflicts, anger and hostility • Need to appraise the situation • Need to evaluate one’s options • Talking things out • Eliminating injustice in the workplace • Bosses from heaven • Anger management training

20. Aggression at work: destructive relationships • Personal characteristics and violence • The cultural socialization of males • History of violence and “acting out” • Emotional reactivity (volatility) • Poor impulse control • Low level of mental development

21. Aggression at work: destructive relationships • Controlling violence • Screening for aggressive tendencies • Training in handling interpersonal conflicts • Developing perceptions of justice • Reducing emotionality • Producing incompatible responses • Dealing with the causes of the anger • Applying person-oriented leadership