Be A Mentor, Inc.

1. Be A Mentor, Inc. Orientation to Mentoring 1260 B Street, Suite 375 Hayward, CA 94541 (510) 795-6488

2. introductions

3. Training Guidelines • Maintain Confidentiality • Be here now-No cell phones • Speak from the heart • Listen from the heart • Respect differences • Refer back to training guide • HAVE FUN!!!

4. Training Objectives • To better understand the issues and environmental factors facing our youth today. • To understand the role and COMMITMENT of the mentor. • To understand and demonstrate practices of effective mentors:

5. How Youth Enter Program • Receive Orientation • Complete Application • Parents/Guardian Complete: • Questionnaire • Authorization Form • Youth is Interviewed

6. What is the Project Manager’s Job? • Recruit/interview Mentee • Interview Mentors • Complete Paperwork • Hold Match Meeting • Monitor the quality of match

7. When you were a kid why did you need a mentor?

8. Peer Pressure Substance Abuse Sexuality Social Skills Child Abuse Family Violence Anger Management Absenteeism Depression/ Suicide Nutrition & Health Pressure At Home Goal Setting Part-time Work Failing Grades Why Youth Need Mentors Someone to Listen

9. From The Kid’s Eyes! Forget about what YOU think a young person needs. • Why would a young person want to be friends with you? • What does a mentee think a mentor is?

10. Easy to talk to Someone to look up to a friend One who shows us new things Not a parent One who does not judge us Understanding FUN! knowledgeable One who doesn’t get mad A role model One who encourages us One who listens to us Open-minded Empathetic Trustworthy One who gives guidance One who respects us Youth Say a Mentor Is…

11. Role of the Mentor • Academic Help • Goal Setting • Career Exploration Assistance • Emotional Support • Exposure to new things Broker Role model Friend Attention and Concern

12. Practices of an Effective Mentor Respects Youth Viewpoints Allows Youth to Make Mistakes Involves Youth in Decisions Builds a friendship An Effective Mentor Is Committed Confirms Appointments Separate Goals Keeps Relationships Alive Focus on the positive Has Fun

13. Pitfalls of Mentoring • Imposes Values • Sporadic Meetings • Authority Figure/Transform Youth • Demand Equal Participation • Not Seeking Support of Project Manager Watches too much Day time TV!

14. Stages in Relationship Setting Goals Friendship Building Relationship Testing

15. Guidelines for Difficult Situations • Discuss the problem. • Think beforehand about what you want to accomplish. • Bring things up early in visit. • Separate the behavior from the person. • Stay serious but supportive. • Discuss sensitive issues in a private place. • Consider relating something personal. • Reinforce something positive about your mentee.

16. Culture • Our youth are extremely ethnically diverse. • Cultures include customs and values. • Culture is a set of mental rules for survival and success that a particular group of people has developed.

17. Culture • Cultures are multifaceted: • Family structure, Spirituality, Language, Art, Parenting practices, Concept of growth, aging, & death • Goal of mentoring is to create inclusion. • You feel valued and respected by me. • I feel valued and respected by you. • Gang activity, not about skin color, but about which neighborhood your from.

18. Conversation Starters/Practices • Come to your mentoring time, prepared! • Any type of game, book or activity you use, should start a conversation not kill it. • Ask “High Quality Questions” • Be Careful not to use yes and no Questions.

19. Login Hours and Activities • www.beamentor.org • Login • Email address • Password • Activity Form • Select a mentee • Activity Date • Time • Comments

20. Mentor Commitment • 4-6 hours each month • Weekly telephone contact • Document activities/hours • Keeps contact with parents • Attend quarterly wisdom circles • Attend mentor event’s Never gives up!

21. Confidentiality • When can I break it? • How do I break it? CPS Hotline: (510) 259-1800