Social Media, Bullying, and How to Help Our Teens

1. Social Media, Bullying, and How to Help Our Teens January 23, 2019

3. Social Media and Its Effects

4. Some Facts Social networking is on the rise, and the study found that 22 percent of teenagers log onto their favorite social media sites more than 10 times a day, and that 75 percent own cell phones.

5. Some Facts This level of engagement online increases the risks of cyberbullying, “Facebook depression” (a new phenomenon where “de-friending” and online bullying lead to symptoms of depression), exposure to inappropriate content, and sexting.

6. Some Facts The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Foundation says suicide is now the second leading cause of death for young people between the ages of 10 to 24.

7. What has gone wrong in the lives of our teens and why at such an alarming rate?

8. Speculation Although there are no clear answers, there is a great deal of speculation, and many say our kids’ use of social media contributes to this high suicide rate.

9. Key Elements of Social Media That May Cause A Teen Harm CYBERBULLYING Bullying that takes place on digital devices with intent to embarrass, hurt, or humiliate one another. According to DoSomething.org, 43% of teens report having been bullied online at least once.

10. Key Elements of Social Media That May Cause A Teen Harm PICTURE PERFECT LIVES Teens spend hours scrolling through images on their social media feeds. May see peers hanging out and they weren’t invited. It’s not surprising that these images cause them to feel left out, disconnected, and ultimately unworthy.

11. Key Elements of Social Media That May Cause A Teen Harm SOCIAL ISOLATION Is a major risk factor for depression and suicide. Increased screen time = less time with others, getting exercise, participating in group activities.

12. Key Elements of Social Media That May Cause A Teen Harm SLEEP DEFICIT Inadequate sleep occurs when teens spend time on their phones when they should be sleeping. Texts, instant messages, and other signals to pick up that phone come in all hours of the night and may be too tempting to avoid.

13. Cyberbullying

14. What it is Electronic or Cyberbullying involves primarily verbal aggression (threatening or harassing electronic communications) and relational aggression (spreading rumors electronically or intentionally excluding others from chats or online groups).

15. What it is Some of these actions can fall into criminal categories, such as harassment, hazing, or assault.

16. What Parents Can Do

17. Recognize the warning signs that your child is involved in bullying. They could be being bullied, bullying others, or witnessing bullying. Although these signs could signal other issues, you should talk to your child if they display any sort of behavioral or emotional changes.

18. Many times kids won’t ask for help, so it is important to know what to look for. If your child is at immediate risk of harming himself or others, get help right away.

19. Learn what bullying is and what it is not. Understanding what bullying is is the first step in forming a plan to prevent or respond to bullying with your child. Many behaviors that look like bullying may be just as serious, but may require different response strategies. You can also learn about: • The frequency of bullying; • Who is at risk for being bullied and bullying others; and • The effects of bullying

20. Cyberbullying often requires different strategies than in-person bullying. Learn how to work with your kids to prevent cyberbullying and how to respond when it occurs.

21. Utilize tips and tools to talk to your child about bullying. Opening lines of communication before your child is involved in bullying makes it easier for them to tell you when something happens. It is also important to work with a school to help prevent bullying before it starts.

22. If you know or suspect bullying has occurred, learn how to find out what has happened with your child. Understanding what has happened can also help in communicating with school or community officials about the situation.

23. If you have determined bullying has occurred, learn how you and school or community officials can work together to support your child, whether they were bullied, bullied others, or witnessed bullying. Learn also about considerations for specific groups.

24. If you have determined bullying has occurred, learn how you and school or community officials can work together to support your child, whether they were bullied, bullied others, or witnessed bullying. Learn also about considerations for specific groups.

25. PCLS/PPD PARTNER WITH PARENTS

26. Contact your child’s guidance counselor Contact school administration Contact Painesville PD If you feel your son/daughter may be a victim. . .

27. Contact the School Although we can not directly provide consequences for events that happen outside of the school day (i.e. walk to school, school hours, walk home from school), making us aware of potential problems allow us to remediate and mediate before a bigger problem may occur in school.

28. Contact the School If a documented disruption in the community is carried back into the school day, school administrators can link those situations and provide consequences. Substantial disruption to the school day due to social media, may also result in school consequences.

29. Social Media Tools for Parents

30. No Underage Facebooking or Instagram Did you know that no one under the age of 13 is permitted to join Facebook, Snapchat or Instagram? (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act) Parents should make sure that their child stays away from social media until 13 AND until you are comfortable with him or her having an account.

31. Check Privacy Settings Check that your privacy settings for the Internet and all social media apps are set to the strictest levels. Depending on which browser you are using, you can adjust the settings directly from the options tab and adjust levels around cookies, third party sites and more. This not only protects the computer user, but also the computer from the threat of viruses.

32. Use Filtering Software There are software suites you can purchase to monitor your child’s Internet usage; many even enable you to view the exact keys that were typed, time spent online and all computer activity in general. Popular programs such as Net Nanny and PureSight PC let you monitor social media sites, block chats, filter content and much more. You can even monitor your child’s cell phone with a software program like My Mobile Watchdog.

33. Create Ground Rules If your kids are old enough to be using the computer on their own, they are old enough to understand that there are rules they need to abide by. Breaking them should not have a lesser consequence than if they broke a rule in the offline world. The best way for families to agree on ground rules is to create a contract that all parties must sign. The Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI) encourages parents and kids to have an open discussion about what these rules mean, and offers a good example of a contract here.

34. Get to Know What Your Child’s Habits Are You don’t need to be a super sleuth and spy on your kid’s every online move, but it is important to be aware of the kinds of sites he is frequenting and the people he is associating with. You get to know the friends he’s hanging out with at school, and his online friends shouldn’t be any different. One of the contract rules should be that you have full access to his Facebook friends and can take a look whenever you wish.

35. Monitor the Pictures Kids Post Online In an ideal world, your child would never post a photo of herself online, but that might not be entirely realistic. If she wants to share photos with her friends via email or a social networking site, be sure you know exactly which pictures are being posted. Make sure the content of the photo is completely innocuous and that no identifiable locales in the background are noticeable.

36. Be a Good Example of How to Use Social Media If you are tweeting and updating your Facebook page at a stop light and taking every opportunity to “just check something,” you’re setting a poor precedent for social media usage that your child will surely follow. Always remember to ask yourself if you’re setting a good example and demonstrating proper technology etiquette as well.

37. Limit Cell Phone/Ipod Use Just as you would limit use of a computer, TV or gaming system, you can do the same with a cell phone. Set rules for the device, only allowing cell phone usage at certain hours in the evening or after homework has been completed. If you have teens of driving age, the most important rule to enforce is that under no circumstances should cell phones ever be used while driving. Phones should be kept off so incoming text sounds aren’t a distraction or should be kept in the glove compartment, out of reach.

38. Teach Kids About An Online Reputation Many kids don’t seem to understand the permanence of the online world. Make sure to stress to your kids what a digital footprint is and the impact inappropriate messages or images could have if a future college administrator or employer were to stumble upon them. As stated in the AAP study, what goes online stays online. #pausebeforeyoupost #waituntileighth

39. Talk With Kids About Online Dangers You may feel like you’re scaring your kids when talking to them about the dangers of being online, but it’s better for them to be scared than to be unaware. Having an open line of communication is crucial the minute your kids start using the Internet more independently. Parry Aftab,noted online safety and privacy expert and Executive Director ofWiredSafety, says, “Who's a stranger online? Everyone is! You need to remind your children that these people are strangers and that the standard rules always apply.”

40. Get to Know the Technology Kids have gained a mastery of technology so quickly and can easily pick up on the nuances that any new gadget has, far more easily that we can in some cases. It is every parent’s responsibility to know exactly which key features are included in the gadgets our kids are using. Stephen Balkam, founding CEO of the Family Online Safety Institute, says, “This can be a humbling experience.

41. Get to Know the Technology You may find that you had no idea that the Sony Playstation Portable that you bought your 11-year-old last Christmas had a web browser. Or that your 5-year-old son (with the help of his older brother) has managed to create an avatar on Club Penguin and regularly goes for in-world pizzas with his other penguin friends.” Want more tips? Check out The Secret Life of Kids Online: What You Need to Know

42. 10 Apps Teens are Using That Parents Need to Know Omegle - A free online chat website that promotes chatting anonymously to strangers. Calculator% - This app looks like a calculator but functions like a secret photo vault.

43. 10 Apps Teens are Using That Parents Need to Know Whisper - A free online chat website that promotes chatting anonymously to strangers. This is the way most teens communicate. Send messages and “snaps” that disappear within seconds. Stories go away after 24 hours.

44. 10 Apps Teens are Using That Parents Need to Know Hot or Not - Strangers rate your profile. Goal is to lead to a “hook up”. Ask.fm - Ask an anonymous question and get an answer. Linked to the most severe forms of cyberbullying.

45. 10 Apps Teens are Using That Parents Need to Know Burn Book Post anonymous rumors about people through audio messages, texts, and photos. Wishbone - An app that allows users to compare kids against each other and rate them on a scale.

46. 10 Apps Teens are Using That Parents Need to Know Kik Messaging app. Kik has built in apps and web content that would be filtered on a home computer. Instagram Many creating fake accounts “finsta” to hide content from parents. Often used to text because most parents don’t check the messages.

47. Websites for Parents www.commonsensemedia.org https://www.uknowkids.com/ https://www.safesearchkids.com/parents-guide-to-protecting-teens-on-social-media/#.XEdd2VVKiiM www.connectsafely.org/safety-tips-advice/