Emotional Intelligence and Leadership March 2011

1. Emotional Intelligence and LeadershipMarch 2011 Presented by:Susan Wilkes, Ph.D.Wilkes Consulting, LLC

2. Course Goals: For students to: • Solidify their knowledge of the basic concepts of emotional intelligence; • Examine their own style and level of emotional intelligence as a leader; • Explore ways to continue strengthening their leadership; and • Apply, in an experiential format, EI to team building and vision.

3. Course Outline Day One • Introductions and Overview • Opening Activity • Overview of Emotional Intelligence • Working with the Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence • Building Shared Vision Day Two • Becoming a “Resonant” Leader • The Repertoire of Leadership Styles • EQ and Team Development • Conclusion and Assignment

4. Resonant Leadership • Resonance refers to “the reinforcement or prolongation of sound by synchronous vibration” • The human analog is when people are on the same wavelength emotionally, when they feel “in sync” • Dissonance describes an unpleasant, harsh sound, a lack of harmony

5. Describing a Resonant Leader Goleman writes: “He was attuned to people’s feelings and moved them in a positive direction. Speaking authentically from his own values and resonating with the emotions of those around him, he hit just the right chords with his message, leaving people feeling uplifted and inspired even in a difficult moment. When a leader triggers resonance, you can read it in people’s eyes: They’re engaged and they light up.”

6. Becoming a Resonant Leader • My Ideal Self:Who do I want to be? • My Real Self: Who am I? Where do my ideal and real self overlap? Where do they differ? • My Learning Agenda: Building on my strengths, reducing my gaps. • Experimenting and Practicing:Trying new behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. Repeating them to mastery. • Developing Relationships:Building supportive and trusting relationships that make change possible.

7. My Ideal Self Identifying and articulating your “ideal self,” a vision for who you might be, is an important step. Please write a few sentences about the person you would like to be, especially in regards to your level of emotional intelligence.

8. My Real Self: Clarifying Strengths and Gaps • Review the feedback you received from your colleagues. You might create a “tally sheet” which shows their collective assessment. • On the tally sheet, add your own selections for strengths and weaknesses. You might write the word “self” by those marks. • If you didn’t solicit the feedback, just work with your own self-perceptions of strengths and gaps • Take about 10 minutes to complete the “My Real Self” section of the “Becoming a Resonant Leader” worksheet.

9. The Learning Agenda –moving from feedback to growth • Focusing on what you want to become • Setting goals • Building on strengths • Making sure it is what you want • Keeping it realistic • Listing practical and concrete steps • Creating it to fit your learning style

10. Sample Learning Agenda Goal: Express more warmth during times of disagreement or differing perspectives Steps: • Continue to rehearse what I want to say and how I want to say it during these times. Consult with a mentor if the situation is extra sticky. • While doing so, reflect on positive aspects of my relationship with the person involved. • Use positive non-verbals when talking to them – smile, eye contact, open posture, etc. • Say something during the discussion about the value of the relationship. • Review afterwards to evaluate how this worked.

11. Sample Learning Agenda Goal: Convey more of a sense of vision when working on collaborative projects Steps: • List 2-3 key projects I’m involved with now or will be in the next 6 months • Write a statement of vision for each, without worrying about wordsmithing • During each meeting for the projects, talk about our purpose and vision at least once • Express enthusiasm through voice tone when discussing vision • Share this goal with a colleague and ask her to remind and nudge me.

12. My Learning Agenda Please take a few minutes to complete the next section of the “Becoming a Resonant Leadership” worksheet. Write down about 2 goals and some action steps you might take.

13. My Learning Agenda Get with about two other people. Share your general goals and solicit their ideas for one or two practical action steps for each goal. Please work at a brisk pace and avoid the phrase “yes, but.”

14. Experimenting and Practicing • Notice what respected others do • Break it down into small parts • Experiment and practice • Practice with a friend or colleague • Continue to the point of mastery • Use naturally occurring, real situations at work • Use mental rehearsal • Imagine yourself doing well

15. The Value of Positive Imagery and Mental Rehearsal Please stand up at your chair and make sure you can hold your arms out without whacking your classmate.

16. Relationships that Make Change Possible Benefits of sharing your goals with select others: • Clarifies your own thinking about the situation(s) • Provides you helpful feedback and perspective you can learn from • Can give you good ideas for implementation • Aids in accountability and follow-through • Gives you support • Strengthens relationships

17. Relationships that Make Change Possible Who can help? • Mentors and teachers • Executive coaches • Colleagues from professional associations • Peer support for development (same organization) • Learning partners from external organizations • Spouse, partner, friends Please take a few minutes to complete the last two sections of the worksheet.

18. Break Please return in 15 minutes.

19. Leadership That Gets Results • Commanding (Coercive) • Pacesetting • Democratic • Affiliative • Coaching • Authoritative (Visionary) “New research suggests that the most effective executives use a collection of distinct leadership styles—each in the right measure, at just the right time. Such flexibility is tough to put into action, but it pays off in performance. And better yet, it can be learned.”

20. About Leadership Styles • Can be learned through practice and repetition • We can all use different styles • Different styles are appropriate in different situations • We can learn when to use different styles • Responses to different styles can be predicted

21. Commanding Leadership: What is it? • Make decisions alone & give orders • “Do it because I say so” • Authority rests fully in the leader • Tends to be coercive • Tends to use criticism rather than praise What benefits and drawbacks can you predict with this style of leadership? Take a moment to jot down one of each.

22. Commanding Leadership: Benefits • Provides clear direction/removes ambiguity • Can soothe fears in time of crisis • Can deal with problem employee • Can break gridlock when no agreement can be reached

23. Commanding Leadership: Drawbacks • Stifles creativity • Blocks free flow of critical information • Alienates rather than building sense of ownership • Does not enable employees to see place in big picture • Creates dissonance

24. Commanding Leadership –What is required? • Initiative/drive to achieve • Self awareness to stay on track • Emotional self control to keep anger and impatience in check

25. Commanding Leadership –When is it appropriate? • In a crisis/a genuine emergency • Kick-start a turnaround • When agreement cannot be achieved • With some problem employees

26. Pacesetting Leadership –What is it? • Leader offers him/herself as model • Obsessive about doing things better/faster and asks the same of everyone • Holds high standards and expectations • Impatient with poor performance • Often rescues the situation himself or herself when confronts poor performance

27. Pacesetting Leadership –Benefits • Showcases the drive to achieve • Exhibits passion for organizational purpose • In right circumstance, can meet challenging goals

28. Pacesetting Leadership –Drawbacks • May produce anxiety in others • Creates dissonance and negative climate by lack of attention to people • Tends to be blind to own shortcomings

29. Pacesetting Leadership –What is required? • High energy level • Strong sense of purpose • Drive to achieve • Strong knowledge/technical skill

30. Pacesetting Leadership When is it appropriate? • With highly motivated and competent group • With defined area in which leader has recognized technical skill Think of an example of a pacesetting leader you have seen in action. What worked? What did not? What were the characteristics of the situation that influenced the effectiveness of this style?

31. Democratic Leadership What is it? • Others (employees, group members, subordinates) participate in decisions. • Open deliberation. • Advice and ideas shared. • Listen to the concerns and ideas of others

32. Democratic Leadership Benefits • Generate ideas not otherwise considered • Provide important “bad news” that otherwise might be suppressed • Builds “buy-in” for decisions made • Creates more positive, resonant organization climate

33. Democratic Leadership Drawbacks • Exasperating, seemingly endless meetings • Add incompetent, uninformed information and opinions to the decision process

34. Democratic Leadership What is required? • Willingness and ability to listen to variety of ideas and points-of-view • Collaboration • Empathy • Willingness to “keep it safe” for unpopular ideas and “bad news” • Conflict management For you personally, which of these “requirements” come easily? Which are more difficult?

35. Democratic Leadership –When is it appropriate? • When new ideas are needed • When consensus or general agreement is needed • When buy-in is important

36. Half-Way Check Point • Reflect on the three styles: Commanding, Pacesetting, Democratic • Discuss an example of a specific situation in one of your organizations when each might be appropriate. • Discuss specific times when you or your leader has used each. What effect can you describe?