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You Always Hurt the Ones You Love: Strategies and Tactics in Interpersonal Conflict

You Always Hurt the Ones You Love: Strategies and Tactics in Interpersonal Conflict. Mary Anne Fitzpatrick and Jeff Winke. Chapter 7: The Foundations of Intimate Dialogue. In this study we focused on the conditions of intimate relationships

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You Always Hurt the Ones You Love: Strategies and Tactics in Interpersonal Conflict

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  1. You Always Hurt the Ones You Love: Strategies and Tactics in Interpersonal Conflict Mary Anne Fitzpatrick and Jeff Winke

  2. Chapter 7: The Foundations of Intimate Dialogue • In this study we focused on the conditions of intimate relationships • There are five characteristics that are repeatedly found in intimate relationships (according to the text): • Partners like to spend time together • They feel like they mutually influence each other • Get positive feelings from the relationship (trust, caring, etc) • Know and understand each other (disclosing and confiding) • Want their relationship to continue

  3. Introduction • The study discusses: • The 5 most used strategies of relational conflict • 3 hypotheses are researched • Same sex relationships vs. opposite sex relationships • Males and females use different strategies for the same sex and opposite sex relationships • Levels of relational satisfaction vs. use of conflict strategies

  4. Hypotheses • Hypothesis 1: Individuals in same sex relationships report significantly different conflict tactics than individuals in opposite sex relationships • Hypothesis 2: Males and females report significantly different conflict tactics in both same and opposite sex relationships • Hypothesis 3: Individuals who experience relational satisfaction report significantly different conflict tactics than individuals who experience relational dissatisfaction

  5. Method • 269 undergrad. Students • 183 females • 86 males • Kipnis’ Interpersonal Conflict Scale (ICS) • 44 Items in use of certain conflict tactics in relationships • Scale on how often each tactic is used

  6. Categories and Tactics for Interpersonal Conflict Strategies **Description of the strategies used in relational power struggles: • Strategy of Manipulation • Strategy of Non-negotiation • Strategy of Emotional Appeal • Strategy of Personal Rejection • Strategy of Empathetic Understanding **Interaction Activity for the class, yay!

  7. Findings • Those who are casually involved with each other, often use manipulative or non-negotiable tactics in their interpersonal conflicts. • Casually involved relationships resort to either emotional or empathetic understanding less often than any other relational type. • The married relationships use emotional appeals and personal rejection more than any other relational group. • But the married are only about as likely to use empathetic understanding tactics as the casually involved. • Seriously or exclusively involved relationships use the empathetic tactics the most.

  8. Findings continued… • There is a difference between conflict resolution strategies used depending on if the relationship is very satisfying or not. • The less satisfied are more likely to use non-negotiation and empathetic understanding tactics. They are less likely to use manipulation tactics to resolve conflicts. • There are differences in the tactics used depending if the relationship is same-sex or opposite sex ( For example: Opposite sex is more likely to use personal rejection than in same sex). • Manipulation tactics are used more in opposite sex relationships than in same sex ones.

  9. Findings continued… • The more committed a relationship, the less risky the strategies are perceived since the relational bond is pretty strong. • The less committed relationships are more inclined to use conflict avoidance strategies, since the “more open” conflict strategies are risky. • Females use empathy more (especially with their female friends) than males do. • Males favor non-negotiable as a conflict strategy most with their friends .

  10. Discussion • We hurt the ones we love the most because: • In a relationship we’re more vulnerable (know more about each other, more willing to confront each other, etc.) - When relationships become more intimate, expectations for the relationship change as well.

  11. The End • Fitzpatrick, M. and Winke, J. (1979) You always hurt the ones you love. Communication Quarterly, Winter 1979, 3-11. By: Amy Mako, Hayley Liston, and Mackinzie Taylor

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