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monday, 9.26 and tuesday 9.27. Have your binder on your desk please. Today’s Agenda. Sentence Patterns Diction examples in “Shame” Memoir Assignment Writing Snapshot Example openings/Evaluate opening of “Shame” Brainstorm Handout. LOOKING FORWARD….
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monday, 9.26 and tuesday 9.27 Have your binder on your desk please.
Today’s Agenda • Sentence Patterns • Diction examples in “Shame” • Memoir Assignment • Writing Snapshot • Example openings/Evaluate opening of “Shame” • Brainstorm Handout
LOOKING FORWARD… Brainstorm Handout Due Wednesday, 9.28 (A) and Thursday, 9.29 (B)
Do Now: Sentence Patterns To review, we have learned that all sentences have asubject and a predicate. The predicate contains a verb that is either a linking verb or an action verb. You will want to record these definitions in your RAW Book: Action Verb – a word that expresses action(ex: jump, run, climb) Linking Verb –link the subject to a noun or adjective in the predicate. (Ex: am, is, are, was, were, be, been, smell, seem, grow, become, appear, sound, taste, feel, get, remain, stay, look, turn).
Action vs Linking Verbs Action Verbs can be followed by a : • Direct Object (receives the action of the verb) • Ex: The boy kicked his skateboard. • Indirect Object (indirectly receives the action) • Ex: Mrs. Ault showed us pictures of her sons. Linking Verbs can be followed by: • Predicate Adjectives (descriptive word located in the predicate) • The boy felt confident. • Predicate Nouns (person, place, thing located in the predicate) • Mrs. Ault is a teacher.
Do Now: Sentence Patterns • Judy ran. • (Subject + Action Verb [Predicate]) • Josh ate carrot sticks. • (Subject + Action Verb + Direct Object) • Clowns give audiences enjoyment. • (Subject +Action Verb + Indirect Object + Direct Object) • The clown looks funny. • (Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate Adjective) • Ms. Maggie-Moo is a clown. • (Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate Noun) • In your page, write a sentence for each pattern below. • Subject + Action Verb • Subject + Action Verb + Direct Object • Subject +Action Verb + Indirect Object + Direct Object • Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate Adjective • Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate Noun
Grammar Quiz next week 20 Multiple Choice Questions asking you to identify: • the simple subject and predicate in a sentence • the complete subject and complete predicate in a sentence • the sentence pattern used in example sentences 10 Written Questions asking you to: • Identify the simple subject in a sentence • identify the simple predicate in a sentence • write sentences using provided sentence patterns Quiz Date: Tuesday, October 4 (B Day) Thursday, October 5 (A Day) Level II Grade on the 2nd six weeks
Do Now: Writing Snapshot • On a clean page in your binder, write and complete the following sentence stem . . . • The most important person in my life is . . . • Now many students would begin an essay with that statement and would bore their reader from sentence one. Instead, write a snapshot of that person and END your response with the sentence stem.
Sample snapshot moment • My favorite day of the week is . . • What details did he provide to provide a ‘snapshot’ of his favorite day? • Favorite Day
Now back to your important person . . . • Think about: • how you would physically describe the person (hair color, complexion, body type, smells associated with the person, the sound of the person’s voice, etc.) • how you would describe the person’s demeanor and personality. Now finish your thought with the sentence “The most important person in my life is . . . “
Bold Beginnings… • First sentence of a memoir… • One Sunny day I went to the beach and saw a mermaid. • What is lacking here? • How could it be improved?
Instead of “One sunny day I went to the beach and saw a mermaid,” try:
Instead of “the most important person in my life is ---” try starting with…
First Sentences • Read all of the following sentences and choose two that seem most effective. • What do you think the narrative is about based on this sentence? • Why is it engaging to the reader?
First sentences from student samples . . . • 1. I awoke to someone shaking my arm. • 2. Here I am in the god-awful green and white daisy print shorts; butterflies swarm in my stomach. • 3. The glare on the floor in the entryway is blinding. • 4. I can still feel my cold and sweaty hand clutched in my mom’s hand with no intention of letting go. • 5. The constant squeaking from my shoes definitely didn’t let me forget the walk.
Setting Details • Consider an opener that walks me to the setting. Start outside the setting and walk (or drive) me to the place. What will I see? “From the center of downtown Tucson the ground slopes gently away to Main Street, drops a few feet, and then rolls to the banks of the Santa Cruz River. Here lies the section of the city known as El Hoyo.” From the vicinity of the stairwell a faint cry of agony can be heard. It gains volume and intensity as you shove past the confused freshmen to approach the third floor. Once you reach the top of the stairs, where students wander aimlessly, the scream is unbearable as you arrive at room 321. Here you find bodies tortured, students groaning in despair, for this is the section of the school known as English Hell.
Character Description: Physical Characteristics • Try imitating the sample: “Her walk is slow, hesitant, leaning slightly forward from the waist. Her hands, swollen and misshapen with arthritis, have traceries of blue veins across the back. They are never still.” Her voice is harsh, ugly, cutting into her students. Her throat, swollen and misshapen with overuse, tires from the frequent yelling. It is forever scarred.
Opening Strategies:Startling Statement • Try beginning with a short, intriguing statement that needs further explanation. “I don’t talk on Sundays. I haven’t in more than three years.” “I have a gun, a .38 caliber that holds five bullets. It is black with a brown handle and it stays by my bed. I don’t want a gun. I don’t even like guns. But it seems I need one.” • Try your own example. Think of a surprising statement related to your narrative.
Evaluation of “Shame” – Openings • Go back to the text of “Shame” and reread the opening paragraph. • Highlight the first two sentences in the first paragraph. • In the margin, jot down notes about the effectiveness of these sentences as a way to begin the narrative.
Narrative Structure • Chronological Order or Flashback? • Do you want to start with the beginning of the incident and slowly work your way forward to present day? • When I was fourteen… • Do you want to begin with a description of the situation now and flashback to the significant moment? • I look at her now as she…. But our relationship wasn’t always so wonderful….
Narrative Structure of “Shame” • Highlight the places that indicate where the author is using flashback or another indication in a shift in time. • In the margin next to your highlighted marks, write a note explaining the impact of that choice.
Wednesday, 9.28 and Thursday, 9.29 Please have your copy of “Shame” and a highlighter on your desk.
Today’s agenda • Stamp Brainstorm Handout • Continue Memoir Skills through “Shame”
Dialogue • Including dialogue in your memoir can be an effective way to provide insight into who you are and how you speak. • Consider incorporating even a small amount of dialogue somewhere in your memoir. • To effectively use dialogue you’ve got to know how to correctly punctuate it. Let’s practice now. • Add all the necessary punctuation to the conversation I’ve given you.
Dialogue reminders • Each new speaker is given a new line (indented) in your essay. • Commas always go before the dialogue tag (“------,” he said.) OR after the dialogue tag (She screamed, “---------!” • Use exclamation marks sparingly; consider the way the sentence would be read out loud before punctuating it.
Use of Dialogue in “Shame” • “Shame” uses dialogue in only a few places but it is impactful nonetheless. • Highlight at least three examples of dialogue in “Shame.” • In the margin, write a note about the impact/effectiveness of the dialogue you chose.
Use of details in narrative writing • Complete the revision steps for the paragraph provided. A man walked into the building. He looked around. The room was dark. It was hard to see. Another man came in. He walked to the window and looked out. His steps made a noise. The first man turned around. He thought someone else was in the room. He saw nothing. His heart beat fast.
Use of Details in “Shame” • Highlight at least three details that Gregory included in “Shame.” • Make a marginal note explaining what each detail adds to the narrative.
Sentence structure I am going give you three numbers. • On a clean sheet of paper using your syntax handout, write an original sentence following the sentence structure of your assigned numbers. • Thanks in advance for sharing your creations!
Sentence structure in “Shame” • Highlight two sentences that follow an interesting structure. • Make a marginal note next to each sentence that explains why the structure is interesting.
Writing Tips . . . • It’s a brutal world. • When you don’t use correct grammar and punctuation, it’s difficult to take you seriously. • Correct the following mistakes on a clean page in your spiral however you see fit.
Fix ‘em! • Mrs. Ault went to the grocery store, she needed to buy a cane for support. • Mrs. Ault works at austin high school and wants her students to learn to capitalize stuff and make it sound good and stuff. • I think that learning new things is a good way to challenge yourself i like to learn and be the bestest student eva!!!!!!
Optional Style Techniques • Dialogue • Creative and meaningful sentence structures (like one word sentences) • Foreshadowing (“I knew the day was only going to get worse when I saw her staring at me.”) • Flashback • Metaphor or simile (think “Tomatoes and Onions”) • A relevant foreign language or slang
Final Draft Checklist • Write in first person (“I”) Avoid “you”! • Write in multiple paragraphs • Begin in an interesting way • Use imagery to “show” rather than “tell” • Develop the memory to include beginning, middle, and end • Focus on one event • Develop the memory to show how the experience impacted you • Show the emotions of the experience