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+ Challenges of Parenting Today St. Mary Coptic Orthodox Church Houston, TX – July 24, 2009. Yousry Armanios M.D. YARMANIOS@HOTMAIL.COM. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. (Joshua 24:15). The Seven Challenges. Selfishness Following Human Wisdom All Communication Problems
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+Challenges of Parenting TodaySt. Mary Coptic Orthodox ChurchHouston, TX – July 24, 2009 Yousry Armanios M.D. YARMANIOS@HOTMAIL.COM
But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD (Joshua 24:15)
The Seven Challenges • Selfishness • Following Human Wisdom • All Communication Problems • Perfectionism • Unhealthy Family Dynamics • Depression & Worry • Addictive Behaviors
1. Selfishness What Does It Hide?
Selfishness: • The Selfish Spouse • The Selfish Parent
Consequences • NO LOVE! • Lack of Role-Modeling • Stumbling Stones • Selfish Children
2. Following Human Wisdom When We Believe in Human Idols
Stereotypes of Human Idols • The way I was raised was the best! • Believing in the “Egyptian Way” • Believing in the “Upper Egyptian Way” • Believing in the Liberal American Way • A Big Myth: “Spoil Them to Keep Them”! • I Don’t Believe in Counseling or Science! • An Hour for God; An Hour for Heart
3. Communication It’s All About Communication!
Communication is about Love! • Communication is about Feelings • All Suffer from Communication Problems • When a Spouse or a Parent is Absent • When We Deliver the Wrong Messages
4. Perfectionism Away from the Perfect One!
Perfectionism & the Two Evils! "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” (Jeremiah 2:13)
The Trap of Perfectionism • Our Priorities • Our Objectives & Goals • The Illusion of Perfection • Detachment from Our Children • Emptiness: Filled with Fantasy • Anxiety: More of Addictive Behaviors • Depression: Lack of Self-Confidence
5. Unhealthy Family Dynamics The Problems of Bonding
Common Mistakes • Too Much Closeness from Day One • My Dad’s Favorite; My Mom’s Favorite • Spoiling vs. Violence • Child Raised by Someone Else • The Guilt & Shame “Package” • Child Neglect • Child Abuse
6. Worry & Depression Are You Depressed? Are You Worried?
We are so much worried today! • When We Lose Touch with God & Reality • When We Don’t Compliment Each Other • When We Go by the Letter • We Pass Worry to Our Children!
The 4 D’s of Depression • Disturbed Feelings • Distorted Thinking • Destructive Actions • Dysfunctional Life
How Does Depression Hurt? • "I feel sad all the time." • "I don’t like myself any more." • "I no more enjoy being with anyone.” • “I don’t enjoy doing things like before.” • "I've been having trouble with my sleep.” • "I keep having aches and pains." • "I often feel like my life is not worth living."
7. Addictive Behaviors Are You Still In Control?
Issues of Loss of Control • Teaching Delaying Gratification • Impulsiveness • Temper Problems & Violence • Making Bad Decisions • Falling Victims of Addictions • Self-Destructive Behaviors • Leaving God for a different one!
Their Essential Needs • Balanced “Tough” Love • Undefeatable Hope • “Godly” Unconditional Acceptance • “Godly” Unconditional Forgiveness • Channels to Express Their Feelings • Spirituality, rather than Religiosity • Socializing with the “Abstinence-Oriented”
Please, Help Them: • Feel Safe, Secure & Significant • To Raise Their Self-Awareness • Learn How to Deal with Reality • Manage with the Future • Become a Leaders, not Followers • Feel Spiritually Gratified • Find Happiness in Christ
Finally:Give Them Hope, Please! “With God, All Things Are Possible” (Mark 10:27)
Thank You!Q & A Contact Information Dr. Yousry Armanios YARMANIOS@HOTMAIL.COM 614-327-8289 (M) 614-777-1251 (H)