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Ch. 6 Social Development, Friendships and Mate Selection

Ch. 6 Social Development, Friendships and Mate Selection. Love & Attraction. Factors influencing how people come together? Proximity Similarity Reciprocity Attractiveness. . Love & Attraction. Additional factors to consider attachment styles (Ainsworth et al.) secure

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Ch. 6 Social Development, Friendships and Mate Selection

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  1. Ch. 6 Social Development, Friendships and Mate Selection

  2. Love & Attraction • Factors influencing how people come together? • Proximity • Similarity • Reciprocity • Attractiveness.

  3. Love & Attraction • Additional factors to consider • attachment styles (Ainsworth et al.) • secure • insecure-ambivalent • insecure-avoidant • Additional attachment styles (Bartholomew) • Fearful-avoidant • Dismissive-avoidant

  4. Theories of Love • Types of love • passionate v. companionate • Process Theories • process of developing attachments to someone takes time • from intense excitement to an emotion regulation • good to be calmed by partner, but not too calmed

  5. Benefits of Marriage • Collaborative Cognition • autobiographical memory (Dixon & Gould) • collaborative problem-solving (Berg, Marsiske) • Health & Well-being

  6. A good, long-lasting marriage • Gottman & Levensons’ work on marriage • Key assumptions: • Conflict management is the key to successful marriage • Declines in marital satisfaction PRECEDE decisions to separate and/or ultimately divorce • cascade model (gottman)

  7. Cascade model

  8. The Method • Day-long separation • 3 15-minute conversations • Are videotaped, and physiological measures are recorded • Return the next day and rate their own emotional states during conversations *Analyses focus on conflict conversation only.

  9. Typical Findings • High Physiological Arousal = Bad sign. • Differences between R’s and U’s • behavior • self-report

  10. Regulated & Unregulated Couples

  11. Typical Findings, cont. • Regulated & Unregulated • more than just marital satisfaction • four ‘horsemen’ - defensiveness, stubbornness, contempt, and withdrawal. To be avoided. • Gender differences

  12. How to translate into ‘real’ advice? Avoid escalating, withdrawing, and personal attacks • BUT HOW????? (Clements, Markman, et al. )

  13. Age, Marriage, & Life Events: 2 patterns Child-rearing……... Empty nest...

  14. Age & Marriage • Marital satisfaction shows a U-shaped curve over adulthood • People tend to get increasingly alike as they get older

  15. Parenting in later adulthood • Marital satisfaction increases when kids leave. • Parents continue to give more than they get. • 4/5 parents are happy with their adult children.

  16. Sexuality • Images of older people and sexuality “sexuality of old people, like the sexuality of adolescents, frightens most adults in between” “sex is for beautiful people”

  17. Sexuality • Are times changing? “cultural stereotypes of the middle-aged women as gray-haired, frail and asexual have given way to images of strong, active and sexual women” (Kingsberg, 2002, p. 431) • Examples?

  18. Sexual Activity • Duke longitudinal study (Palmore) • No respondents claimed a total absence of sexual activity • Those who were sexually active lived longer

  19. Sexual Activity • Limitations due to: - illness (e.g., arthritis, diabetes) - physical changes males: changes in blood supply, connective tissue and muscle function, loss of libido females: loss of libido, decrease in vaginal lubrication. - lack of opportunity

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