Foundations of Healthy Relationships

1. Foundations of Healthy Relationships Name:________________________ Period:_______________ Health Education

2. Healthy Relationships • Relationship • A ________________________ you have with other people • Relationships allow us to meet our ______ to be: • LOVED • SAFE • SECURE • VALUED • RECOGNIZED

3. Healthy Relationships • All relationships have (+) and (-) effects on your health • Healthy Relationships demonstrate (+) effects on all areas of your health. • Healthy Relationships are based on: • S_____________ • S______________ • M__________________

4. Healthy Relationships • Friendship Relationships • Significant relationship between 2 people that is based on caring, trust and consideration • Friendships contribute to enhancing your health by: • Sharing similar values • Share hobbies and interests • Sharing friends • Positively influencing self-esteem and self-concept • Helping to resist negative influences

5. Healthy Relationships Friend or Acquaintance? • Acquaintance- relationship less intimate than friendship • Not as much caring, trust or consideration • Talk to less, do not share same information, do not turn to in time of need. • As teens, we see all people as a friend, however, is that true? Questions to Consider • Do you have more friends or acquaintances? Why? • What causes you to call someone a friend or acquaintance?

6. Healthy Relationships • Community Relationships • Citizenship • The way you conduct yourself as a member of the community • Work together to promote the _______ and well-being of the entire ___________ • Community Watch Donation Drives • Volunteer Programs Obey laws • Food Bank Golden Rule

7. Building Healthy Relationships & Communication

8. The 4 C’s to Building Healthy Relationships For a relationship to succeed and be healthy, the people involved need certain skills. 4 C’s Communication Cooperation Compromise Character C C C C

9. Communication Communication The way you ______________________ messages from others What are some ways we communicate? Cooperation Working with others to accomplish __________________ Relationship=Common goal=Cooperation

10. Compromise Compromise Giving up something so that all can reach a satisfying solution ___________________________ Involves a “give and take” which can strengthen relationships All must be satisfied with the _______________ Do not give up your values or beliefs to compromise on a situation

11. Character in Relationships There are ____ major character traits that are needed to relationships to be healthy T_________________ – honesty, loyal, courage to do what is right R_________ – good manners, consideration, tolerant R________________ – accountable for actions, self control, trying your best F______________ – take turns, plays by rules, does not take advantage C_______ – demonstrates kindness, shows compassion C_________________ – cooperation. Doing your share to help others, respect authority, obey laws, vote

12. Communication in Relationships

13. Communication • COMMUNICATION: a process through which you send messages to and receive messages from others • Effective communication is a ___________ • There are 3 basic ______ necessary for effective communication 1. S_____________ 2. L______________ 3. B______________________

14. Communication Styles 3 Communication Styles ___________ (“Mrs. Go Along”) Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts/opinions Do not stand up for their beliefs ____________ (“Mr. Pushy”) Always try to get their way Use bullying and intimidation _____________(“Mr. and Mrs. Stand Up”) Express thoughts and feeling without hurting others However, they respect the thoughts of others

15. Speaking Skills Good Speaking Skills Allows us to __________ our thoughts and feelings Involves clearly saying what you mean Tips: Watch your _________ and ___________. (Changes message) Clearly state what you mean.

16. “I” vs. “You” messages I-messages simply state a problem _____________________________ This makes it easier for the other side to help solve the problem, without having to admit that they _____________ Ex. "I felt let down," rather than "You broke your promise"

17. “I” vs. “You” messages

18. “I” Message vs. “You” Message

19. How to construct and “I” sentence I feel _________________________________ (say your feeling) when you _____________________________ (describe the action) because _______________________________ (say why the action connects toyour feeling)

20. Listening Skills Hearing is not ____________!!! ____________ Listening Listening while involving yourself in the conversation The average listener retains and understands about _________ of what he/ she hears Paying careful attention without judging or interrupting 80% of our waking lives are spent hearing.

21. Techniques for Active Listening Restating Restate or __________________ what the other person said Clarifying Ask questions to show your ________________ Encouragement Provide statement/gestures to encourage more conversation “I see”, “Un-Huh”, Head Nod Empathy Try to understand their feelings Put yourself in their shoes

22. Body Language Skills Body Language = ___________ Communication The message you send to others based on the way your body looks. Eye contact Posture Gestures Behaviors As much as ___________ of face - face communication is non - verbal

23. BULLYING

24. Dealing with Bullying • Bullying IS a BIG Deal • BULLYING: when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power • Could be physical strength or social standing • What are the two main reasons people are bullied? • _________________: • Clothes they wear, haircut, etc. • __________________: • The way someone acts, race, religion, sexuality

25. Bullies Attack _________________ Shoving, tripping, punching, etc. Bullies Attack _________________ Verbal insults, labeling, name calling, etc One of the MOST painful aspects of Bullying is its _________________ Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at risk for mental health problems Depression Anxiety People who are bullied may also develop physical illness Stomach pains, extreme stress levels, etc. Dealing with Bullying

26. Bullying • Bullies are at risk for developing problems as well • Often leads to more violent behavior as the bully grows up • As many as 25% of elementary school bullies have a criminal record by the time they are 30 years old • May end up being _______________________ • Do not do as well in school • Often do not have the career or relationship success that other people enjoy

27. Both boys and girls can be bullies May be outgoing and aggressive May try to manipulate in subtle, deceptive ways Like to dominate others Have often been bullied in the past themselves Often have poor social skills and poor social judgment People who are insecure with themselves Put others down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful Some have personality disorders Who Bullies?

28. What Can You Do About Bullying? • When to tell an adult • Younger kids should ALWAYS tell an adult • Teens should tell an adult if there have been threats of ___________________ • Many teens have died when threats, and attacks were unreported and the silence gave the bully an “ok” to become more and more violent

29. Ignore ___________ ___________________ NOT a ________ response Can be harder than losing your temper You are telling the bully that you just don’t care The bully will likely get bored with trying to bother you Walk TALL and hold your head HIGH _________________ Anger is the response the bully is looking to get from you Bullies want to know that they have control over you Work out your anger in another way, such as… What Can You Do About Bullying?

30. Don’t Get ________________ Do NOT use physical force You cannot be sure how the bully will respond Talk About It Guidance Counselor, Teacher, or Friend Good outlet for fears and frustrations Find Your True Friends Find one or two good friends you can confide in that the bully has hurt your feelings Tell those friends about the truth of the rumors the bully may be starting about you What Can You Do About Bullying?

31. Teen Dating

32. Dating Relationships • Important to remember that the teen years are a time of trying different ___________ __________________ • Breaking up, making up, and breaking up again can be painful, but it is part of a process of becoming emotionally mature • H____________ and open c___________ are essential

33. Intimate RelationshipsPhysical Attraction & Dating Dating is a way that teenagers get to know people to whom they are attracted Dating gives you a chance to become more comfortable with the opposite gender Dating provides the opportunity to practice GOOD _____________________ and ________________________ 33

34. Dating Relationships • _________________________ • Good way to ease into dating • Less responsibility for keeping the conversation going • Less likely to feel self- conscious • Being less nervous allows you to have a better time and be yourself more easily Some teens choose not to date at all due to other interests, commitments, or not emotionally ready

35. The Dating Bill of Rights Rights To ask for a ____________. R____________ a date. Suggest/refuse a____________. Have own feelings and to __________ them. Have limits and values ___________. Refuse to lend ______________. Have friends and space aside from partner. 35

36. The Dating Bill of Rights Responsibilities To determine limits/values. Respect the limits of others. Communicate clearly and honestly. Ask for help when needed. Be considerate. Set high goals for myself. 36

37. Rights/Responsibilities You have the right to ask and refuse a date. You can suggest things that you would like to do. You can say when you think things are inappropriate. Use your voice and state your opinion. You have the right to have a life outside of your relationship. Make time for yourself, your family, your friends, and your personal goals. All of these are VERY important. Have a LIFE! You have the right to set boundaries around sex, money, time, and interactions. In other words, have values and morals that will be respected so that you are not taken advantage of. Maintain Boundaries 37

38. Am I in a Healthy Relationship? What Makes a Healthy Relationship? _________________Each person values who the other person is and understands them. You will not challenge the other person’s boundaries. ___________ A little jealousy is okay, jealousy is a natural emotion. It is how you react is what matters. Trust is essential to a healthy relationship. _________ Goes hand in hand with trust, if you are caught in a lie once, how can you expect to be trusted the next time? 38

39. What Makes a Healthy Relationship? Fairness/__________- Give and take relationship. Things need to be even, decisions and power need to be equal. Good _____________- Do not keep things “bottled up” express your feelings and concerns. Essential to a healthy Support- Your significant other should be your shoulder to cry on and a person to celebrate with together. Separate _____________- You need to make compromises, however not by sacrificing who you are. Feel free to develop new things while staying “within yourself”. 39

40. Abusive relationships

41. Where Violence Occurs Violence can occur in any relationship F_____________________ Spousal Abuse- abuse of wife/husband Child Abuse- abuse of child Neglect- failure to provide for a child’s physical/emotional needs D_____________________ Rape- any forced sexual activity that is unwanted Date Abuse- mental, emotional, physical abuse of a BF/GF C_________________________ Personal Assault- unlawful attack with the intent to harm Homicide- willful killing of another person Gang Related

42. Abusive Relationships What Is ____________? Someone who loves you should never abuse you Abuse can be mistaken for intense feelings of caring or concern Boy/ girlfriend who is VERY jealous Abuse can be ______________________________ Emotional abuse can be difficult to recognize because it does not leave any visible scars Teasing, bullying, threats, intimidation, and betrayal 42

43. What is abuse? Physical- ______________________ Punching, Kicking, Pushing, Biting, Shaking, Use of Weapons Emotional- ___________________________ Putdowns, Shouting/Screaming, Name calling, humiliating you, and threats of other violence Sexual- sexual contact against persons will Touching, Gestures, Speaking, Intercourse

44. Signs of Abuse Any physical harm Controlling Dress, Friends, What you say Humiliation Puts you down, then tells you “I love you” Threats Especially if you want to leave relationship Twists the truth Wants you to feel at fault Keeps track of you Jealousy/Anger when you are around others

45. Cycle of Abuse Honeymoon Phase

46. _________________________- Both people are happy in relationship _________________- Tension build between people, abusive person gets frustrated with other. _____________- Shortest stage / Most harmful This stage is based on one specific incident that leads to an explosion of anger. Abuser calms and tries to make up for abuse by returning to honeymoon phase

47. How YOU can Avoid Violence ________________ Become aware of the acts that are abusive The Best way to protect yourself is to become aware. _________________ If anyone tries to abuse you, be assertive and stand up for yourself. ________________ If treated in an abusive manner, get away and tell someone ASAP. Report abuse of others.

48. Breaking the Cycle You can help ______ the cycle of abuse. If you or someone you know is being abused… Tell a trusted adult. Ask them for help to resolve the problem. Contact an abuse hot line or crisis center that can help. Report the abuse to the police. The Cycle of Violence

49. Community Support Who can you turn to for help? Parents, Teachers, Trusted Adult Student Assistance Team at NAI Crisis Centers/Hotlines Local Law Enforcement Family Counseling Support Groups- groups of individuals with similar problems

50. Dating Violence Dating violence Abuse in dating relationships which can be physical, emotional or sexual Gateway Cheerleader Mt. Lebanon Problem: Teens often see abuse or dominant treatment as a sign of love and emotion. Solution: Recognize that no one deserves to be abused or controlled.